


Of Crows, Cats and Owls

by KesoKeos



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Basically Tsukki goes to Nekoma instead of Karasuno, Depression, Fluff and Angst, Guilt, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, Kuroo Tetsurou is a Good Friend, Lev and Tsukki end up being best friends somehow???, Loneliness, M/M, Sad, Slow Burn, Tsukishima Kei is Bad at Feelings, Tsukki has crappy parents, Tsukki is still friends with all of Karasuno even tho he goes to Nekoma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:21:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 80,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24943009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KesoKeos/pseuds/KesoKeos
Summary: Moving to Tokyo was definitely not a part of the plan that Kei had for his future; neither was meeting Kuroo Tetsurou and catching feelings. As life at Nekoma seemed determined to prove to him, highschool was nothing like he’d ever imagined, and Kei wasn’t going to be able to do it alone.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Haiba Lev & Tsukishima Kei, Haiba Lev/Yaku Morisuke, Kozume Kenma & Kuroo Tetsurou, Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei, Tsukishima Akiteru & Tsukishima Kei, Tsukishima Kei & Yamaguchi Tadashi, Yachi Hitoka/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 49
Kudos: 239
Collections: maazeesfavs





	1. The move

**Author's Note:**

> So here we have another krtsk fic

This was not how it was supposed to have gone, that much was for certain.

Tsukishima Kei had always known what was ahead of him in life, he’d planned everything out meticulously, right down to the minuscule details. Following in his brother’s footsteps, he would go to Karasuno and play in the volleyball team. His brother, while not on the main lineup, had still had a passion for volleyball that he’d given along to Kei, and as a result, Yamaguchi.

Their parents had never been particularly close with either of them, and so his whole life, as far as he was concerned, it was just him, Akiteru, Tadashi and whoever was on the volleyball team. Their parents didn’t neglect him, providing for his every need or want with a swipe of a credit card. What they didn’t do was provide him with the love and attention that each and every child deserves, they didn’t nurture him and teach him values and morals. That was what Akiteru and Yamaguchi were for, yet even then he was often cold and unbelieving of love. 

The marriage his parents shared was for money; the both of them ran big companies and it was for the benefit of those that they were married. They already had people in line to run them, should they decide to retire early, and they never pressured Akiteru or Kei to follow in their footsteps. They didn’t even force them into boarding schools, as Kei had wanted to be at the same school as Yamaguchi and Yamaguchi wasn’t about to become smart enough or talented enough to get into one of the high ranking schools in the area.

His parents were not uncaring, not forceful or cruel, but they just never formed that close, loving relationship with each other or their sons. Akiteru had been as a result of grandparents pressuring them into having children, and Kei had been a drunken, lustful mistake years later. 

Kei knew it was possible to love, but he didn’t think he would ever be loved or love someone else. That was wishful thinking, that someone would see him, and really love him for who he was. Tsukishima was smart, he was tall and had been called beautiful or handsome before, no doubt as a result of his natural blond hair (a rarity in Japan) and creamy, unblemished skin. He could play piano extremely well, having won multiple competitions and performed at important events his parents organised or were involved in. Kei always got extremely high grades, and while he didn’t have the most stamina or muscular body, he was quite good at volleyball. 

Despite all of that, his personality was often bitter or cold. Get past that, and he found himself being too trusting of people, the majority of whom let him down. Stick around long enough, and the person they would find was insecure, lonely and had barely any self confidence. Deep down, Kei was longing to be loved and find someone that truly cared about him, but he would never tell anyone that, because the same part of him that felt that way also believed it was impossible for someone to truly want him for who he was, despite his many flaws.

And so, he built up a plan for his life. He would go to Karasuno, step one. Then, he would go to University and either study music, biochemistry or archaeology and fossils, as well as playing in the volleyball team. That team would likely be the Sendai frogs, based on where he was looking to go after school. Following that, he would go into his selected field and do a damn good job at what he did, enjoying life with his brother, Tadashi, and his friends. He would live a long life, which he would spend romantically alone, and there wouldn’t be a chance for his parents to hate him.

That was the other issue when it came to love for Tsukishima Kei; he was very, very gay, and there wasn’t the slightest chance that he would ever even consider going out with a girl except for fake dating one of his friends and she really, really needed him to do so. He didn’t really know what his parents believed, or what their opinions were. They weren’t close enough that he could go up to them and ask without causing suspicion, and if they were against it then the conversation could end very, very badly. 

Add on the chances that a guy would like him on top of the fact that he believed nobody would love him? That was practically impossible, since in his opinion, no person in their right mind would like him, let alone a guy that Kei liked back. He had learnt from a very young age that he was a magnet for annoying people that liked to bug him, after all, so the chances of a sane person coming along seemed to be rather slim if his past luck was anything to go by.

So, that was his life plan, and Tsukishima planned to stick to it religiously at least until it came to finding a job or university, because perhaps there would be another university or job abroad that would be better for him. 

Yet, storming away into his room after a conversation with his parents, he knew that this was not going to go how he had planned after all. Two weeks before the new school year, and his first year in highschool, his parents had decided to move to Tokyo. They were opening a new branch of their companies there, and at least for Kei’s highschool life they would live in Tokyo to oversee that. 

Yes, they had promised that every weekend, unless it was around a big test or he was busy, they would pay for him to go on the train back to Miyagi to see Tadashi and Akiteru. They promised they would make it up to him and that the school they were going to send him to had a great volleyball team, that it had really great labs for chemistry and was very well equipped in music as well, but it wasn’t really one of those ‘snobbish schools’ that he complained about it. Even so, this was not a part of the plan. This threw a spanner in the works and ruined his whole life plan, and Kei was not happy about it. 

Akiteru had a job and an apartment of his own and so wouldn’t be going along with them, and of course Tadashi couldn’t go either. He would be leaving his best friend, and he would be alone, since his parents wouldn’t spend any time with him. Weekends didn’t make up for all the nights he would spend over at Akiteru’s or Tadashi’s, or that they would spend with him at home because then he wouldn’t be lonely. Weekends didn’t make up for playing on the same volleyball team with ‘Dashi, weekends didn’t make up for Friday night movie marathons with Aki-nii, they didn’t make up for nights studying together or going for icecream after training or practicing volleyball with Akiteru after dinner.

Weekends and phone calls didn’t make up for the loneliness he was bound to feel, because by train, Tokyo was three hours away, and by car it was even further away. Whoever was in Tokyo, whoever he might meet at Nekoma and in the team there, they were nothing compared to Yamaguchi and Akiteru. They were not his family, they could not replace that. 

Yet, what choice did Kei have? It wasn’t a decision he had to make, it was a fact of life and a fact about what would happen, and there was nothing he could do to change it. 

For the first time in years, as he closed and locked the door and fell down onto his bed, he broke down into tears. 

x-X-x

He wasn’t stupid, of course, he’d told Yamaguchi and Akiteru the following morning. There was no need to hide it when he trusted the pair of them so deeply, with pretty much everything in life. He’d met up with them in person and explained it all, spilling his worries and everything he felt to them because they always understood and knew what to say. 

But for Kei, even despite the assurances the pair gave him, he knew that they were just as upset about it. Yamaguchi was his best friend, they were attached at the hip since they met and Kei had called his bullies lame. Akiteru was his big brother, and they had a close bond that both of them treasured. Of course it would make them feel upset to know he was moving, and they told him that too. Tsukishima was leaving for Tokyo in two weeks time, and that was what was going to happen.

With that in mind, they all made the most of their weekdays. Akiteru helped Kei pack everything, Yamaguchi and him had sleepovers and Friday night movie night with his brother because Thursday and Friday nights.

Then, alone, Kei was sent off on the train to Tokyo. His belongings were waiting in boxes in an apartment, one which was about thirty minutes away from his parents mansion. That had been his last request; if he was going to be moving to a new place, he wanted his own space, and not a massive big house where he was surrounded by unused luxuries and empty halls. He’d be alone in the mansion anyways, so why not be alone in a space that he could call his own? He was responsible anyways, and the bills would be no more than they would be if his parents were paying for the mansion. They had too much money, so buying the place meant nothing. It meant they didn’t have to pay for a birthday present for the next few years anyways, and along with the train tickets, it meant that he couldn’t complain that they didn’t provide for him or care. They never saw him, they never made an effort to, and they would be even more busy now they had their new business to work on on top of their previous work. 

The apartment was clean and cozy; the couch in the living room in their old house that he was so fond of had been sent, along with his own bed. At least his parents knew where he spent his time, and gave him the things that would make him feel more comfortable. It was that, or they wanted to buy new things for their place and giving them to Kei meant it wouldn’t go to waste.

Also in the new apartment there was the grand piano he always played at; in good condition but not as ‘great’ as the newer ones that his parents liked better. There was the old tv, the four person wooden dining table his parents disliked, but that Kei always sat at for breakfast and dinner, since it wasn’t as lonely as the massive dining table. There was the bookcase from his room, and the four years old tv that was of good quality but similarly to the piano was not the newest and most impressive. The desk in his room, the beanbag chair, the pillows and blankets, even the plates and bowls that Kei used because they weren’t fancy and the things he used to cook his own meals, it was all there for him in his new place.

All the little pieces of ‘home’ that were accompanied by his many memories with Tadashi and Akiteru, all the things he liked about where he had lived, he had in this new apartment. Everything, but the two people that would have loved it most. He was only fifteen, yet living on his own like this was more at home than he’d ever been, while simultaneously being the most lonely.

And so, after unpacking what he would need for school the next day and making a quick dinner of cup ramen (because he was tired as hell), he grabbed a blanket and his laptop. Sitting down on the couch, he began the Skype call with Tadashi, and then his brother, and then he went to sleep. 

None of this had been in his plan, and life was now uncertain. Yet, despite the changes, there was a strange feeling of apprehension and nervous excitement for the day ahead.


	2. The Provocative Captain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukki meets two of the other people living in his apartment building, as well as some of the people on his soon to be volleyball team

Tsukishima had gone about his morning like he would have done any other; with the addition of sending a text to Akiteru and Yamaguchi to say good morning, something he could have done in person if he was back living in Miyagi like he wished he was. 

He had a shower to freshen up for the morning, getting changed into Nekoma’s uniform (which was surprisingly decent, even though it wasn’t Karasuno’s). He made his bento and his breakfast, making sure that he had a balanced diet even despite not eating much food, and put it in his bag along with his sport uniform for the volleyball tryouts that afternoon and the other school equipment which he’d packed the night before. Bright and early, with plenty of time to spare, Kei was prepared to leave the house. There was no need to do so this early, but he would have to leave before this for morning practice anyways and the extra time to find his way wouldn’t hurt.

And so, Tsukishima plugged in his headphones, locked the door, and headed to the elevator for their apartment building. From the way it was lit up, it indicated that someone else was already going down, and he payed no mind with the assumption that someone was on their way to work. The door slid open, and he was greeted with the sight of two teenagers, both wearing the same uniform as he was. 

One of them was a tall guy, probably a third year, with dark hair that seemed to be some sort of really shitty bed hair, but seemed to suit him perfectly. He was confident looking; holding himself highly in a confident sort of manner and wearing this infuriating smirk that seemed to come naturally to him. It wasn’t surprising, he was extremely attractive and clearly athletic, and despite his unruly hair his uniform was pristine. Kei wouldn’t lie to himself and deny the fact that his heart skipped a beat when he saw the guy in front of him, but to other people he definitely would. He was careful not to ogle, or check him out, or stare suspiciously, and turned his glance to the other person there. The other teen had bleached hair with black roots, and had his face in a video game on his phone; he didn’t look up when the doors opened and so there was no way Kei could get a clear glimpse of his face. Not that he wanted to, anyway, because the first guy clearly spelled trouble for him and his gay heart. 

He rolled his eyes and turned around, muttering something about taking the stairs and heading in the direction of the stairwell. If this guy really was a third year, then he could hopefully avoid him even despite being in the same apartment building. He doubted that the guy would play volleyball, it seemed more likely for him to be a basketball or football (soccer) guy. 

Making his way down the stairs, he hoped he could avoid the guy and avoid getting a crush (because that would be frustrating to deal with especially when he seriously doubted this guy was gay), but him and his friend had waited for him outside their apartment building. “Megane-kun! Hold up for a moment, will you?“

The third year spoke for the first time, or perhaps the second, if Kei hadn’t heard him the first time because of the music. Pausing his song, he pulled his headphones down so they were resting around his neck and looked towards the third year. “Yes?” he questioned, raising his eyebrow as he glanced to the dark haired teen.

“I’m Kuroo Tetsurou, a third year at Nekoma, and this is Kozume Kenma, second year. I haven’t seen you around before, and seeming as stuff was being moved into the apartment two floors below ours yesterday, I’m guessing you’re new. And as your senpai, out of the goodness of my heart, I’ve decided that I’ll walk with you to school since I doubt you’ve had a chance to walk there on your own and I’d hate for you to get lost. So, Megane-kun, what do you say?” The guy, Kuroo, had a deep voice, and despite the fact that it was actually really nice to listen to, what he had to say was almost enough to counteract the appeal. Almost.

To top it off, Kuroo also sent him a sly grin and a wink (the audacity of this guy, really?) as he finished talking, and Kei once again knew he’d somehow managed to attract another idiot into annoying him. Doing his best to try and suppress the blush that was fighting to make its way to his cheeks, he rolled his eyes, turning to face him fully and sending a glare his way. “Firstly, my name is Tsukishima, so please stop calling me Megane-kun. Isn’t it rude to call people names based on things they can’t control? I can’t help the fact that I need glasses to see, unlike you, who obviously has issues using a comb. Secondly, I’m perfectly capable of walking to school on my own. I’m a first year in highschool, not a child, so I’ll pass on the offer.” Kei paused and sent a very fake smile his way before putting his headphones back on. “If you really wanted to do things out of the kindness of your heart, then I’d suggest leaving me alone.”

With that, he walked away, pulling out his phone. He turned on his music, opened up the maps application, and slid his phone into his pocket. The GPS would tell him the way he needed to go as he walked, so he wouldn’t be following his phone the whole time. Quite frankly, that would be an embarrassment after declining the offer by Kuroo, and he really didn’t want to mess up in front of the third year. Perhaps it was the fact that he was attractive, or the fact that he was annoying and didn’t want the guy to have leverage on him, but the idea of Kuroo teasing Kei about something like made him feel unnaturally nervous. 

He didn’t listen to any response that Kuroo had, even if he could make out a few things through the music, but thankfully the second year, Kozume? dragged him ahead and sent an apologetic look his way. Even as he walked to school, though, taking his own route that was probably much longer than the one the two were taking, he couldn’t stop thinking about Kuroo and that stupid wink. Even if he’d been annoying, staying behind outside the apartment block and offering to walk with him was actually kind of thoughtful, and it made his heart once again skip a beat.

Kei shook his head at that, frowning and trying to push that thought out of his head. The guy was annoying and arrogant and definitely not sweet, that sort of thinking was wishful and unrealistic. But that voice, it was deep and mellow and smooth, and the thought of how it would sound like uttering his name sent a shiver down his spine. 

Tsukishima froze, and then thought for a moment, and then gulped. He hadn’t even been to school yet, it was only his first day. Tsukishima had been certain that he would never fall in love, because nobody worth loving would ever hang around anybody like him. He hadn’t had a crush on anyone, only found some people attractive, yet the mere fact that he was even questioning what he felt was enough proof for him.

His heart sunk, but the more he prayed that it wasn’t true, the more it solidified in his mind that it was indeed the case.

He whipped out his phone, and after checking there was nobody else around that could hear he phoned the one person that he would trust with a situational dire as this one.

The person on the other side of the phone picked up immediately, his voice cheery as he spoke. “Good Morning, Tsukki! It’s a surprise that you called, what’s up?”

“Tadashi,” Kei said frantically, his usually calm voice panicked, yet not quite fearful enough in tone to be considered something extremely serious, “Tadashi, you have to help me! I haven’t even gotten to school, but there’s this hot third year that lives two floors above me-“

Yamaguchi gasped and almost dropped his phone, static noises audible from when the phone bumped around in the freckled boy hurried to catch it. “Tsukishima Kei, Mr. ‘I’ll never fall in love’, are you telling me what I think you’re telling me?” Tadashi asked hopefully, an excited undertone in his voice.

“His name is Kuroo Tetsurou, his hair is a fucking mess and he’s probably a total asshole, but he winked and asked me to walk to school with him and his friend. I only talked to him for a minute and I’m sure he hates me now since I was, well, me, but god dammit I can’t get him out of my mind.”

It wasn’t an answer, but at the same time it was that and so much more. Yamaguchi squealed, and then in a mixture of joy and disbelief, said, “Oh my god, Tsukki, you have a crush.”

“I have a crush,” Tsukishima confirmed, groaning in defeat. “And the only thing I have left is volleyball. Thank god for that, I think I’d go crazy otherwise. I don’t think my luck is that bad that the entirety of my life’s plans would be ruined in the space of one day, right?”

Yamaguchi snickered at his words, clearly amused by the whole situation. “Yeah, I think you’ll probably be fine. Just relax though, it’ll be fine! Having a crush isn’t the biggest deal in the world, it’s just a crush. It doesn’t mean you’ll fall in love with him, it just means you like him enough to consider a relationship with him. You don’t have to interact with him if you don’t want to, since he’s a third year, so chill out.” 

“Yeah, you’re right. Thanks, Tadashi,” Kei replied, silently praying that it would all work out, but not holding out much hope considering his luck.

“Anytime, Tsukki! I have to get ready for school now, but it’s been nice talking. If anything comes up, just send me a text and I’ll call when I’m free, kay?”

“Yeah, sure. Talk to you later, ‘Dashi.”

x-X-x

From them on in, the day seemed to get better, and Kei could push away the thoughts of Kuroo. He didn’t make any friends in his classes, nor did he try to. In the lunch break he simply got an application form for the volleyball club from a third year named Yaku. Apparently he was a libero, and he seemed nice enough (though that was mostly because Tsukishima didn’t insult him because of his height and looked impressed when he heard of his position), though it obviously meant he wouldn’t be the captain. It was a shame that libero’s couldn’t be captains, since Kei’s first impression was that Yaku was a reliable guy, the sort of person he wouldn’t mind leading the team. But... it had only been a conversation for about a minute, so there wasn’t much to go off in terms of personality.

After that, he filled it in and ate his bento while texting Yamaguchi (who had become friends with a girl named Yachi). The rest of his day he spent in class, not speaking unless called upon and quietly doing his work. His classmates were too loud, despite him being in the top class, and he didn’t have Yamaguchi there with him to talk to about whatever. He wasn’t going to use his phone in class to talk to him either and risk getting him or his best friend in trouble on their first day, and in the afternoon he’d gone straight to the bathrooms to change into the sport uniform. The shorts were red and the shirt was black, and immediately Kei felt that he didn’t quite belong. Something about it just seemed off. Perhaps it was a result of all his prior expectations being of the white shirt and black pants, or the maroon tracksuit, of the Karasuno sport clothes. It was just another reminder of what could have been, if not for moving to Tokyo. 

For a moment he considered texting Yamaguchi, but that idea was soon stripped from his mind as he began walking to the gym and heard a boisterous voice from behind him. “Hey! Hi! Are you going to try out for the volleyball team too? I’ve never played before, but this really cute guy was asking around about people joining, and I couldn’t help but agree. I’m Haiba Lev, by the way, but you can just call me Lev. Haiba-san is too formal, it makes me feel old.”

“Oh, good lord,” Tsukishima groaned under his breath, glancing towards the guy who had bounded over to him, who looked foreign and was surprisingly taller than he was. “I’m going to the gym, of course I’m going to play volleyball. Basketball tryouts are in one of the other gyms, so why else would I go to a gym if not to play volleyball?” he replied, rolling his eyes and placing a hand on his hip. “My name is Tsukishima. I would say that I look forward to playing with you, but that’s to be decided.”

Lev seemed to brighten when he heard his name, apparently taking it as a token of friendship of sorts and continuing to grin at him. “Well, I’ve never played before, so I’m not sure how good I’ll be. But Yaku-chan is apparently really good and he’s short, and most volleyball players are tall, so I’m sure it can’t be too hard to learn,” the silver haired teen chirped, looking eagerly towards the gym as they headed towards there. 

“Yaku-san probably wouldn’t appreciate you calling him short, or making it sound easy. For someone who’s never played before, it’s a lot different than someone who’s played their whole life. It’s not as simple as height; if you’re tall and bad, that doesn’t make you valuable. If you want to play, you’re going to have to work hard to get the basics down properly, and you’re going to have to pull your weight. Take it from someone who’s played for a while, there’s a lot you’re going to have to learn before you even have a chance of playing, let alone playing on the starting line up. Nekoma is known for their flow and their defence, so they’re bound to have lots of people who can receive and block well. It’s the team that keeps the ball in motion the longest that wins, Lev,” Kei explained, watching the half-Russian carefully to see how he responded to his words. It was one of the ways he could judge his character, and get a better idea of the kind of person Lev was.

Of course, the world really wasn’t on his side today, as before Lev could respond someone slung their arms around Tsukishima and the other first year. “Oho? Nicely said, Tsukki, I’m rather impressed. I see you’re quite serious about volleyball, it’s good to see someone like you is joining our team.” That deep, warm voice, that unruly, soft bed hair that brushed against the side of Kei’s face because of how close the guy was, and that damn smirk, it all unmistakably belonged to Kuroo. He really couldn’t catch a break today, could he? “You must be Haiba Lev, you’ve made... how can I put this... quite the impression on our libero. I’m Kuroo Tetsurou, captain of Nekoma’s volleyball team. I’m looking forward to playing with you both in the coming year.”

With that, Kuroo pulled away from them and walked into the gym, Lev following behind him because he’d laid eyes on Yaku and wanted to talk to him. Strike one was moving to Tokyo, strike two had been developing this crush on his neighbour, a third year guy he’d talked to for less than a minute, and now, the third and final strike. 

Tsukishima Kei was utterly screwed, because he’d developed a crush on his captain, meaning even volleyball was now ruined for him. As he walked over and placed his water bottle to the side, putting on his knee pads, he looked to Yaku in the hopes that at least one person on this team was going to be sane, only to find the guy kicking the back of Lev’s legs and yelling about not calling him short.

And Kuroo? Kuroo burst out into this obnoxious laughter at the sight, greeting Kenma, the guy from earlier, and saying something about how ‘the demon-senpai strikes again’. 

Oh, yes, Kei was so not looking forward to this coming year. His crush was both his captain, and also lived in his apartment building. One of his teammates was completely incompetent, and was enamoured by their libero who hated being called short. Another member also lived in the same apartment building as him, an introvert who was glued to games, and as more people filled in the room (was that a mohawk on that guy?) he was certain that volleyball was ruined for him. 

Tadashi and Akiteru were going to have a field day when he told them about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed and that they’re not too ooc. I’ll admit I struggled to write their dialogue, since this is a lot different than what I’ve written before, where there was a backstory to justify their personalities being different than in cannon.
> 
> Have a great weekend and I’ll see you all soon for another chapter!


	3. Nekoma’s First Years

Tsukishima spent a solid two seconds thinking about the situation before going to speak to some of the more normal members of the team. Despite not minding Lev too much (he was excitable, and somewhat annoying, but seemed to be a friendly person), he didn’t know how well they would get along and was a little hesitant to try and talk to him when he was busy talking to Yaku. There were two other first years aside from him and Lev; their names were Inuoka and Shibayama. 

The two of them were nice, and they were quiet enough (thank goodness for that), but as they began to discuss their positions it soon became clear that they were going to have a few problems when it came to who would play in the line up, even if it wasn’t their choice to make. Lev, well, he was extremely tall, and he seemed to be quite suited for a middle blocker role. Perhaps a wing spiker, but the defensive advantages of having him play middle blocker was too good, especially with his body type which was more lean than broad shouldered and beefy. 

Inuoka also expressed his interest in being a middle blocker, and though he could probably become a great wing spiker with a little more work, he seemed to be extremely passionate about the position and Kei wasn’t going to try and convince him to change. He knew that he certainly wouldn’t want to suddenly switch and stop being a middle blocker and suddenly become a spiker or setter, it just wasn’t him. It was certainly hypocritical for him to expect someone else to do something which he wouldn’t be willing to do himself. Add in the fact that Nekoma was bound to already have at least one middle blocker — then there were at least four people who could be middle blockers on the team. There were going to have to be at least two of them on the bench if that was the case; Lev likely wouldn’t be playing for a while anyway because he was new, but when he got up to a good enough standard Kei was sure he would be very good at what he did. 

Not for the first time, Tsukishima wished he was at Karasuno, because he doubted that they would have a similar problem after seeing who was currently on the team excluding new first years. He’d watched some of their games from the previous years, and they had a few middle blockers in this years second year, but the team wasn’t really focused on defence and he would have had a place and a chance to fight for his turn on the court there. 

Shibayama, the other Nekoma first year, was aiming for the libero position, yet he didn’t have any intention of pushing Yaku out of the starting line up position this year. Instead he had said he was wanting to learn as much as he could before the next year so he was prepared for when Yaku would no longer be a part of the team, or in case the regular libero was injured and he needed to fill in for him in a game.

After finishing with putting on his knee pads and making sure his shoes were tied up properly, their conversation on positions was over. He looked around the room as the mohawk guy, Taketora, was complaining that they didn’t have a manager, let alone a cute female one, and Kuroo was snickering at something Kenma said whilst feigning a hurt look. It was one of those ‘you wound me’ situations, from the looks of it, and though it got on Kei’s nerves he kind of wished that it was him Kuroo was talking to and him he was bugging. Shaking his head he spoke up, rolling his eyes as their captain once again burst out into his wheezing laughter when Taketora dragged Kenma over so he could do spiking practice. “I know we haven’t even played yet, but this is going to be one hell of a year,” he told the pair in exasperation, standing up and beginning on his stretches. “I swear, you two are the only normal people on the team.”

Inuoka laughed and glanced to Kenma, and then to another third year. “Those two seem pretty normal too. I’m sure it won’t be as bad as you think, Tsukishima. I think it’s exciting how different everyone is,” the brown haired male said, beginning his stretches as well. “Besides, even if the team isn’t what you expected, that’s half of the fun. You get to know everyone and learn from them, because they’re all so different and have different ways of playing and experiencing volleyball.”

Shibayama smiled and nodded in agreement, glancing around the room. “I’m not the best when it comes to this sort of thing, since I’m not nearly as outgoing as most of the people here. How I see it, is that in the end, we all share the same love for volleyball. We’re here to play, and somewhere along the line it’ll all work out, because how else can we play but together?”

It made sense, and they did have a fair point, but at the same time it just seemed wrong to him. This wasn’t right, this wasn’t what was going to happen, he should have been back home in Miyagi. “Maybe for you guys,” Kei muttered, “but it’s going to take me a whole lot longer to be convinced.”

As far as he was concerned, Nekoma and Tokyo wasn’t his home, and it wouldn’t replace Miyagi. He just wasn’t willing to accept that this was his reality now, and there was nothing he could do to change it.

x-X-x

Try outs — if they could even be called that, since they had all given in their forms and so were technically part of the team — consisted of both some basic drills to see how well they were and to warm up, as well as a three on three match (which Lev sat out on, instead beginning to work on receives with Yaku).

On one side of the net was Inuoka, Shibayama and none other than the provocation master and captain himself, Kuroo. To Kei’s dismay, the male was a middle blocker, and a damn good one at that. He had solid receives as well as excellent blocks, which the blond recognised used read blocking, as well as the uncanny ability to get on his nerves with a single glance.

Kei was playing alongside Kenma and the last third year Inuoka had pointed out, who’s name was Kai. The match didn’t go horribly, per say, but Tsukishima could almost always feel those hazel eyes on him, watching his every move, and that fucking smirk never once left Kuroo’s lips. It didn’t help that now that they were in the sports uniform he could see those tanned thighs and sometimes caught a glimpse of his toned abdomen when his shirt rode up a bit. Whether or not the dark haired male caught him looking, Kei wasn’t sure. He didn’t mention anything about it, but there was a mischievous glint in the other male’s eyes, so there was no way to be certain.

Kei had absolutely no clue about how to handle these feelings though, which was the bigger problem. He’d never had a crush before, never even thought that he might find one, and therefore had no clue how he should interact. Yamaguchi wasn’t there to support him through it either, so he supposed the only option was to attempt to act normal.

How he managed to make it through the practise match in one piece, let alone managed to play decently, he didn’t quite know, but it was probably because Kuroo seemed more interested in getting a gauge on his abilities than dishing out advice. He didn’t even really talk to the guy, either, wanting to avoid all conversation in the hopes that it would make dealing with these feelings easier. The older teen didn’t force him to talk, but every time Kei saw him it seemed like he wanted to say something but didn’t. It made it harder to understand his own feelings and what was going on, since if he was actually trying to stay away like he’d told Kuroo too, then that kind of hurt.

Lev on the other hand, well, it was pretty obvious to everyone aside from the libero himself, but Yaku had become the object of his affections. He was taking the opposite approach, taking every opportunity it was to talk to his crush. On one hand it was comforting seeing that the team didn’t have a problem, or if they did have one didn’t call him out on it, but on the other hand it made him paranoid that someone would figure out his feelings as well. It wasn’t like he had anyone he could trust to ask about if he was being obvious or not, but to him it felt like he couldn’t get away from Kuroo. And so, as soon as he got the chance to leave he took it, wanting to avoid walking home near or around Kenma and Kuroo. 

As he walked out the gates, he turned left, and Lev did as well. He glanced at the half-Russian with a raised eyebrow, pursing his lips and considering starting a conversation with him. Would he regret this? Probably. But Tadashi would get on his case if he didn’t make at least one friend, and Lev certainly wasn’t the worst person in the school, even despite seeming too enthusiastic. “So, you’re headed this way too?”

“Yeah! I live in an apartment about fifteen minutes away from here, perhaps we live close,” the silver haired teen said excitedly, positively beaming when he realised that Tsukishima was talking to him. “Did you enjoy practice, Tsukki? I have to admit that you were right about what you said about volleyball, by the way. It was hard to do the receives and stuff, but I got to spend time with Yaku-chan so it was fun!”

Kei shrugged and paused his music, leaving his headphones to rest around his neck. “It was alright, I suppose. Kenma, Kai, Inuoka and Shibayama seem nice,” he said, thinking for a moment and letting out a heavy sigh. “It’s not what I envisioned, if that makes sense. Nobody in the team seems to be a bad person, and they’re not rude, but they’re not really the people I would usually hang out with.”

Lev hummed in thought, before he smiled more softly and nodded. “I can understand that, but I think that’s why it’s good, since you get to meet new people from different grades. To be honest, you seem like you would get along well with Kuroo-san, but I can see how you wouldn’t be so sure about hanging out with some of the other people. I’m serious though, he was looking at you a lot, which I get since you’re kind of hard to figure out, and you looked like you were really good at volleyball,” he said, giving Tsukishima a thumbs up to show that he was giving him a compliment, but also since he seemed to express his words using gestures a lot. “But you didn’t seem to want to hang out with him even though he looked like he wanted your attention, which you were giving to him. You’re confusing like that, I can’t really tell what you’re thinking.”

Tsukishima‘s cheeks heated up when he mentioned Kuroo wanting his attention and he looked away, rolling his eyes. He hadn’t thought the silver haired male had even seen him, seeming as he was so enamoured with Yaku. “Whatever, Lev. Whatever it is you’re thinking, I don’t think that’s the case, because I doubt Kuroo-san actually wants to bother with someone like me. I’m not exactly the easiest person to get along with, and i was somewhat rude to him this morning, so. Anyway, enough about me, what about you and Yaku? Like you can talk about giving people attention when you were all over him the entire practice and wouldn’t stop leaving him alone. You’re really lucky that he’s dense, because everyone on the team knows you like him.”

Lev blushed at the mention of Yaku, but soon regained his composure and put a hand on the blond’s shoulder. “Firstly, Tsukki, don’t sell yourself short, because you’re really pretty. Not as cute as Yaku, but definitely attractive. And if you’re taking the time to talk to me, which not many people do, then I don’t think you’re that bad.” Kei blushed a bit more at those words, his ears a deep red, not used to people aside from Tadashi and Akiteru complimenting him with such sincerity. He didn’t bother trying to correct him with the name, since he didn’t imagine Lev would stop calling him that, and it was kind of nice to have someone want to call him by a nickname. “Also, I wasn’t exactly trying to hide the fact that I like him. I was always teased a lot because I’m half-Russian, I’m too tall and I look weird or something. But then my sister, her name is Alisa, she taught me that it’s best to just be myself and that the people who really care will stick around even if I don’t quite fit in. I’m gay, it’s just a part of who I am, and I like Yaku. I’m not going to change myself for someone else’s sake.”

“I, uh, okay...” After the compliments, and now hearing the genuine things Lev was telling him, Tsukishima didn’t quite know how to respond, biting his lip gently and trying to think of what to say. He sighed shakily, glancing up at the sky and thinking about what Yamaguchi would tell him to do in this situation, since he was unsure how to go about it. Probably something about honesty or trying to open up, which he decided to give a go even if he wasn’t great at it. “I’m not going to lie, I only talked to you since my friend would bug me if I hadn’t made any new friends here. Naturally I assumed you were going to be yet another person that was going to get on my nerves, because pretty much everyone that seems to hang around me is. I’ll only say it once, and I’ll probably take it back later, but, you’re not so bad Lev. If you like Yaku-san, then go for it, it’s more than I could say I’ve done. Up until this morning I was convinced that I was going to be forever alone, yet here I am, trying to pretend I don’t have these feelings.”

“Well, I kind of assumed that you were going to be a prick with a stick up your ass after our first meeting. I’m glad that you’re not, by the way, but I guess it makes us even. I’m not always going to be able to read you, though, so if you’re going to be my first friend at Nekoma then we’re going to have to talk.” Lev’s voice was quieter than usual, and surprisingly understanding, and though a part of him feared he would regret opening up to someone this fast, another part of himself — the one desperate for friendship and someone to help get rid of the loneliness and disconnect he felt here in Tokyo — was proud that he was able to make a friend, even if it was Lev. Kei hadn’t given the guy enough credit, he’d written him off as just an annoying and airheaded person, but he was actually kind of nice to hang around and could be serious enough if he needed. “So, you like someone? Do you want to talk about it, or would you prefer not to? I don’t know how much help I’ll be, but since we’re friends now I want to help if I can.”

Kei shrugged and crossed his arms as they continued to walk, the both of them still going in the same direction, quickly considering the pros and cons of telling him before deciding to fuck it and just tell him anyway because he felt the other deserved to know after being so open with him. “I’m not going to say who it is, because frankly I don’t know how well you are at keeping your mouth shut, nor will I confirm or deny his identity if you ask about it. But... you can call him Shiro. Yes, he’s a guy. Seeming as you came out to me, I’ll have you know that I’m also extremely gay, but I don’t think we have a problem with that. He’s older than I am, and though I’ve not said too much to him, I can’t get him out of my mind. I don’t know him well enough to judge his character yet, though, but he was kind of nice to me and I don’t know if that was him being genuinely nice or just wanting to annoy me.”

Lev only smiled knowingly and leaned into whisper in his ear so that nobody around them could hear, if anyone else was even out that late at night. “So you like Kuroo? I won’t tell anyone, I promise. It’s not obvious, I don’t think so anyways, but I can’t really imagine it being anyone else.”

Kei didn’t respond, but a soft blush once again made its way to his cheeks. Lev grinned, nudging him with his elbow and laughing a little, before nodding in understanding. Despite what Tsukishima had initially thought, they got along quite well with each other. Perhaps, if this friendship lasted, it wouldn’t be too bad at Nekoma after all.

The pair continued to talk as they walked back to their apartments, just about normal stuff. Lev was interested in how long he had been playing volleyball, and seemed extremely impressed when he heard that Kei was in the top class. He told Tsukishima about his cats, and that he was probably going to do something in photography and modeling unless he got somewhere with volleyball.

As they arrived at Kei’s apartment building, the blond was a little surprised to find Lev making his way inside the gates too, and raised an eyebrow. “You live here? What, is half of the team living in the one apartment building?”

“Wait, more people in the team live here? I’m on the second floor, by the way.” Lev tilted his head, and a realisation slowly dawned on them both as they looked into each other’s eyes, and the half-Russian began to grin. “Someone just moved in yesterday, but the movers had brought everything in before the person actually got there. I’m not sure, since I haven’t seen anyone else in the team here, but does this mean you’re the person who moved in?”

Kei didn’t know whether to be surprised, happy, or frustrated by this occurrence. “Indeed it does, Lev. We’re neighbours.”

The silver haired male beamed and clapped a little. “Sweet! My first friend here, and we live right next to each other. We can walk to and from school, and it’ll be so much fun,” he told Kei, a true smile on Lev’s face. It was nice, seeing someone so excited at the thought of getting to walk to school with him of all people.

“I guess we can, if you want to. I wouldn’t mind, just don’t expect me to be dragging you out of bed. If you don’t get up, I’m leaving without you, got it?”

Lev nodded happily as they got on the elevator and made their way to their own apartments. Before Kei could enter, Lev stopped him and pulled out his phone for Kei to put in his LINE contact. “I’ll meet you outside here at seven, okay?”

Kei felt a small smile appear on his lips, and he nodded. “Yeah, don’t be late.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Tsukki and Lev are friends now :) I’ve been excited to write them because I feel like Tsukki would definitely have a soft spot for people like Lev, Hinata and Bokuto that never leave him alone.   
> You’ll see it more in the coming chapters, but in this au they have a lot in common so there’s a reason for their friendship to develop the way it does.  
> Hope you enjoyed, and have a lovely day!


	4. The first week

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukishima is bad at feelings and Lev helps him out

True to his word, Lev was outside his apartment at seven, only about a minute after Kei had exited his own one and began to wait for him. Kei had his white headphones resting around his neck once more, even though he doubted he would need them if he was walking with Lev that morning, and was leaning against the wall in wait for him. 

The previous night he’d made sure to talk to the people back home that cared, even though it had been late by the time he’d made dinner after getting home from the tryouts. Yamaguchi and Akiteru had been really excited when he said that he’d gotten a new friend, but for some reason he’d refrained from telling them that Kuroo was the captain of the volleyball team. That would open a whole new can of worms, and he really had just wanted to sleep after he’d had dinner, so he decided to tell them when he went down to Miyagi on the weekend. It would be easier to explain in person, anyways, all things considered. 

He knew that if things went pear shaped later in the week with Kuroo it would be harder to explain, and Kei almost never held back information that was as important as this. A part of him was just scared of that new aspect of his life, and he didn’t know how he was meant to share that with people who knew how much he had been against the prospect of love and relationships. 

It did, however, leave him with the issue of dealing with Kuroo and any interactions they would have in the week ahead of them. Including that morning, they had eight volleyball training sessions, potentially more if they went at lunch to do some extra practice with receives and things, and so he wouldn’t be likely to escape him. They even played the same position, meaning he was highly likely to talk to Kuroo a lot about volleyball, and his form, and other things. 

On one hand the thought was exciting, because the part of him that wanted to hopelessly pine over his captain very much liked the thought of being up close and personal, learning from Kuroo and being able to prove to him that he was worth being a part of the team.

On the other hand, it was terrifying because he had absolutely no idea how to talk to Kuroo, and knew he was bound to mess up or do something stupid. 

Trying to push away the thoughts of negativity and the many scenarios where things could go wrong, Tsukishima had let out a heavy sigh. It finished just as Lev opened the door, the silver haired male beaming at him, which actually cheered him up a bit to see. “Good morning, Tsukki!” he said, giving him a little wave and locking the door behind himself. “You ready to go, or are we meeting up with the other guys in the team that live here?”

“Morning, Lev. It’s Kuroo and Kenma, by the way, so we’re leaving, hopefully before we run into them,” Kei replied, standing up properly and pressing the button on the elevator, only to see that once again it lit up in indication that someone was going down. He groaned and muttered under his breath, frustrated that the same thing was going to happen once again. “Or not... Just my shitty luck, as usual.”

Lev looked at the panel that showed the floor the elevator was on, and just laughed and shook his head when he realised what it meant. “I’m sure it’ll be fine, Tsukki. Just relax and be yourself, or talk to Kenma. Whatever happened last time with Kuroo that’s making you so nervous, I’m sure it’s not that bad. He seems pretty interested in you to me.”

Kei rolled his eyes and shook his head, not wanting to bother with arguing, because the elevator was going down. Moments later it opened, and just as he predicted, Kuroo and Kenma were there waiting. The third year smirked once more when he saw them and shuffled over so there was room for all of them, and soon they were all in the elevator. “Good Morning Lev, good morning Tsukishima-kun. Not taking the stairs today, hm?”

Oh god, ‘Tsukishima-kun’. He’d not called him Tsukki, thank goodness for that, but that was almost worse, especially with the tone of voice that he used. It sounded like Kuroo was calling him a kid when he spoke like that, and it was almost as bad as Megane-kun. That probably would have been preferable, in all honesty, rather than being treated in a way that he felt was like a child.

“Tch, as you can obviously see. Or is that hair of yours impairing your vision? Also, listen up, unless your hearing is crappy too. Just Tsukishima is fine, thanks, no honourifics, no nicknames,” he muttered, quickly exiting the elevator as their short trip ended, Lev following quickly behind him. 

Of course, Kuroo was persistent, and dragged Kenma along so that the pair were in front of Kei and Lev. “Oh, come on, is that a way to treat your captain? So rude, Tsukki, your senpai just wanted to have a conversation with you. Were both going to the same place, so let me show you a better way of getting to school. I wouldn’t want my kohai getting assaulted in one of those alleyways, now, would I? It’s dangerous for people to go that way, even if you’re with someone.” The third year gave him an innocent smile, an amused glint in his eyes, and slung an arm around Kei’s shoulder. If there was any genuine concern behind those words, he wasn’t able to find it. The blond scoffed and attempted to shove off the arm, unable to stop the light blush that made its way to his cheeks.

“As if it could be any worse than hanging out with you. I said it yesterday and I’ll say it again, I’m not a child, I can walk to school on my own. And like I said before when I told you to listen, just call me Tsukishima,” he hissed, feeling a mixture of annoyance and butterflies. He liked the attention in a way, his heart beating faster with the way Kuroo called him ‘Tsukki’ and the feeling of his arm around his shoulder, but he also really hated that he was being treated this way. He wanted to be recognised by his crush, yes, but as an equal and not like a little brother or cousin. It hurt him more than he cared to share, because the reason was really dumb and he was being ridiculous to feel that way.

Within all the emotions, the excitement, nervousness, hurt, and annoyance, he didn’t know what he felt. It was the heat of the moment, and Kei was confused and unwilling to show any sign of weakness in fear of being teased more or humiliated, so he put up the walls around him and glared. His voice cold, he made sure it was clear he wasn’t amused by the teasing, and continued to speak. “It’s not like we’re friends, I don’t even know you, and you certainly don’t know the slightest thing about me. How hard is it for you to just leave me alone? Now get off of me, we can get to school on our own. See you at volleyball practice, Kuroo-san.”

Perhaps maybe his words were a little harsh, if the flash of hurt in Kuroo’s eyes was anything to go by, but at the moment Kei couldn’t care less. They had barely been talking for two minutes, yet the older teen stirred up too many emotions within him that he really didn’t know how to deal with. This was what Tsukishima Kei did. He was scared to let people in and show them his insecurities. He was scared to open up to Kuroo, the guy that made him feel so different, that made him feel things he’d never felt before.

Some of the feelings were good, but they didn’t make sense to him. Along with that, there was the fact that Kuroo was treating him like a child, and to Kei that meant he obviously wasn’t interested in being friends, let alone ever see him as someone that he would have an interest in romantically, and it seemed like he found some strange amusement with bothering Tsukishima. Kei liked him a lot, and as much as he did like the fact that Kuroo even bothered to speak to him in the first place, the way he interpreted things made his heart turn cold. Kuroo was handsome, he was the captain of the volleyball team, and there was no way that Kei had the slightest chance with him. Nobody could love him, that was what he felt was true, and when he finally found himself interested in someone there was no way it would be reciprocated. 

A few seconds passed where Kei continued to glare at Kuroo to hide the hurt he felt, and then the other male removed his arm and took a few steps back. “You’re right, sorry. See you at practice, Tsukishima-san,” he said, looking almost dejected as Kenma dragged him in the direction of the usual route. There was none of the usual teasing tone in his voice, and that smirk had been wiped off completely, replaced with a frown and eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

It kind of hurt to see him that way, but Tsukishima couldn’t be sure whether that was genuine emotion or whether it was faked to try and get him to cave in to Kuroo’s wish to walk with him to school. He didn’t know with Kuroo, since he couldn’t tell whether he was blinded by his feelings, nor could he figure out what he was thinking when he spoke with Tsukishima. Kei didn’t know how he was meant to let his guard down around him, because he didn’t want to make volleyball hard, but he also didn’t want to make it obvious that he liked him when he knew that Kuroo would never like him back.

Meanwhile, Lev was still shocked about the whole thing, and quite visibly confused. As he and Tsukishima headed in the other way to get to school, he tried his best to think of a way to ask about what had just happened. “Are you okay, Tsukki?” he asked eventually, his voice gentle. “I get that it’s hard to deal with feelings, and he was a little overbearing, but I don’t think he was trying to upset you.”

Kei frowned and shook his head, refusing to meet the other male’s green eyes. “I didn’t, I,” he tried to explain, unable to figure out how to explain it. Even as they walked, he took a while to be able to comprehend exactly what he felt, and then longer still to be able to put it into words that made sense. “I liked that he was talking to me and that he was close to me, I really did. But I was overwhelmed with that, and, I just, he was treating me like a child. Like he would treat a cousin or little brother, and that hurt. I don’t know, I really don’t know, Lev. I’m a mess when it comes to this sort of stuff. I don’t want to fuck things up or mess up the team, but as much as I like him he gets on my nerves and I don’t know how to act.”

Lev’s expression softened, and then the silver haired teen giggled, like, full on higher pitched, somewhat suppressed giggle. “Aww, Tsukki, that’s actually really sweet. I wouldn’t have taken you for the bashful type, it’s kind of cute if I’m honest. Do you think Yaku feels the same way when I’m around and that’s why he kicks me? I think that’s why, which is why I don’t really mind, cause he’s just showing his affection in a different way,” he said with a hum, gently grabbing Tsukishima’s wrist and leading him to school a little faster. “I can’t wait to see him, Yaku-chan is so small and cute!”

Kei blinked, having to take a moment to comprehend what had just happened, since he was pretty sure the conversation was to try and help with his problems, and not Yaku. Note to self: Lev was completely hopeless when it came to love advice, and probably just as much of a disaster as he was. “Good lord, Lev, no! He kicks you because he doesn’t like being called short,” he deadpanned, rolling his eyes. Even so, the momentary distraction was a little helpful, and he found himself feel a little relaxed. “I know you’re just stating facts, but still... It would be like him going up to you and saying ‘Oh, Lev-chan, you’re so tall~ so tall and cute~’”

The taller teen seemed to blank out for a moment, a soft blush rushing to his cheeks as he presumably imagined that exact scenario. “But I would like that if he did that, Tsukki! I bet he would be really adorable if he did, y’know? I like that if we were together I’d be able to cuddle him real easy and if we went out on a date and it was crowded and stuff he could sit on my shoulders and stuff,” he rambled, the colour on his cheeks progressively getting darker. 

It was sweet how much Lev cared about Yaku even if they’d met the day before, but at the same time he couldn’t quite fathom how exactly the silver haired male’s brain worked. Kei doubted he ever would, and he didn’t know if it was worth trying to figure it out at all. “While that is sickeningly adorable, at the same time, that doesn’t help me with anything! Unbelievable, you’re just unbelievable. Why did I even bother telling you about this in the first place?” 

“Because we’re neighbours and the bestest friends in the whole wide world?” Lev said with a grin and a wink, tugging on his arm a little. 

Kei groaned and shook his head, sighing softly and pulling out his phone. “Unfortunately that’s the case, and correction, you’re the second best friend, because that first spot will always belong to Yamaguchi Tadashi. You’re absolutely no help when it comes to crushes, I’m calling Tadashi-“

“No, please, I’ll actually try and help!” Lev interrupted hurriedly, gesturing for him to put his phone away, which Kei did anyway for some reason. “I got sidetracked, but I was serious when I said it reminded me of how Yaku doesn’t seem to get that me calling him short is because I really think it’s cute. Kuroo probably was just trying to break the ice and lighten the mood, I doubt he was actually trying to upset you or something like that. Like you said, you don’t know him very well yet, so maybe he felt that the best way to interact with you was to tease you a bit, or maybe he thought your reactions were cute and didn’t think you minded it. You didn’t actually seem angry about it until you snapped at him, more like mildly annoyed, so...”

Tsukishima listened to him and sighed, pouting a bit and grumbling under his breath because deep down he knew that Lev was right. He didn’t know how to interact, but he also didn’t know how Kuroo was or know the third year well enough to be able to judge his feelings. There was really know telling, and the only way to really know would be to get to know him better. “Yeah, but how the hell am I meant to face him in practise this morning after what I said? What if he was just messing with me or something, what then? I’ve never felt this way before, I don’t know what to do, Lev.”

The silver haired male shrugged and gave him a smile. “I’ve never done this before either. I just try to be honest be myself, and roll with it as best I can no matter what. I’ll say one thing, though, Tsukki. If you really like Kuroo, no matter the reason, then you’ll be willing to apologise and do your best to make it work. Even if he turns out to be teasing you or a jerk, well, you gave it your best shot and you did the best you could. But if you don’t think he’s worth the risk of seeming stupid or whatever by apologising, then I don’t think there’s much sense in pursuing anything with him romantically.”

The blond frowned for a moment and then nodded, a small smile making its way onto his face once again. Once again he realised that Lev needed more credit than he gave him. Maybe he wasn’t perfect or a love expert, but he was honest and true to himself, and that sort of advice was what Tsukishima needed. “You’re right... thank you.”

“No problem! That’s what friends are for,” he chirped, beaming at him and tugging at his wrist again. “Now, come on, I wanna get there early so that I can change as soon as I can and see Yaku-chan!”

And so, Tsukishima found himself being dragged to school by Lev. ‘He’s going to be the death of me’ Kei thought, before smiling a little once more, ‘but I guess it’s not so bad’.

x-X-x

As they got to school, he wasn’t quite looking forward to it. The bathrooms were locked at this time of day, and so he would have to get changed in the club room, which he didn’t particularly feel like doing. Thankfully, Yaku was already there and the door was unlocked, and since they basically ran to get there he was already half changed by the time Kuroo and Kenma entered the room. 

Yaku, the poor soul, was already being dragged to the gym by Lev who was all too eager to spend some time alone even if it was doing receives. Kei was happy for him, but he was also scared to speak to Kuroo. He took a lot longer to get changed than usual, his movements slow as he tried to figure out what to say or even where to begin. He always did this, he always messed up, and this was just like any other time. This was why he only had two, now three, close friends, because nobody else stuck around long enough because he did something that ruined any chances of friendship.

It didn’t help at all that he was naked aside from his underwear as his two upperclassman entered the club room. Kei jumped at the sound of the door opening, moving to the corner and hurriedly pulled on his shorts, shirt, and tracksuit jacket, not particularly wanting to be seen. He’d not even considered the possibility of them walking in, and it wasn’t really a big deal since everyone else changed in the club room anyways, but it wasn’t the way he’d hoped for things to go. It only made things worse as he tried to allow the least amount of his form to be seen. He didn’t exactly hate his body, but he couldn’t help but find himself ashamed when it compared to other people in highschool, even Lev. 

Tsukishima was tall and thin, and he knew people found him attractive, but at the same time he wasn’t particularly muscular either. He sometimes went on a jog in the morning, but aside from volleyball didn’t exercise much, nor did he eat the amount needed to form a proper body mass. He was insecure about that, since pretty much everyone on their team had some sort of muscles, even if they weren’t bulky and were more lean. He didn’t know the type of person Kuroo would be interested in, but as he hurried to get changed, another worry was planted in his heart, that it wouldn’t be him.

Add on the fact that he didn’t know how he was going to talk to Kuroo, it just made it harder, since he could practically feel the captain’s hazel looking at him when his back was turned. He let out a shaky breath, turning around to find neither of the two looking his way, and was about to leave the room when he heard a voice. He was almost surprised to find it was his own, but at the same time was glad that he’d managed to get something out before things were too far gone and too hard to fix. If he waited until after, things would probably get in the way, and he would never get around to talking properly about what happened. “Kuroo-san, uh, can we talk?”

He glanced over to the dark haired male to see his response, only to see he was now shirtless and midway through pulling up his shorts, and he looked away. He managed to stop himself from blushing too darkly, but Kei knew his ears would no doubt be red, judging on how hot they felt. “Hm? Yeah, sure. Just give me a second,” Kuroo replied, not seeming to be phased at all by what happened. Tsukishima felt his heart sink a little, and with a sigh he wondered if perhaps he had just been imagining it when he thought the third year had been looking at him. 

He was insecure about many things, but what Kei always longed for was that someone would see through that and love him even with his flaws. Tsukishima doubted that Kuroo would have looked over, it must have been his imagination, and even more than that he knew it was foolish to think that he would have even found him attractive. It was almost cruel, because even if things between them were messy, he would certainly not be forgetting the way Kuroo looked.

Kei shook his head to clear his mind from those sorts of thoughts and left the room, grabbing at the bottom of the tracksuit jacket in an attempt to calm himself down. He had so much he wanted to say, so much he wouldn’t be able to without confessing, and he had to figure out a way to say it without making the whole situation worse. For someone already a disaster when it came to friendships, this was a whole new level of difficulty.

Moments later, he was joined by Kuroo, who gestured for him to follow him. The blond would have been hesitant to be somewhere else alone with him, but he realised that some of the other members had began to arrive, and didn’t particularly want to talk about this around them.

It was daunting, seeing the captain so serious, since he was used to him being so lighthearted and jovial. It made him nervous, and his heart had began to beat faster. It was pounding in his chest, and as much as he was afraid, he was also hopeful that things just might go well. 

The pair ended up outside the back entrance of the gym they used for volleyball, where it was quieter and nobody was likely to overhear them. Kuroo had an unreadable expression, and Tsukishima felt a pang of guilt as he realised that it was probably his fault that this was the case. It had only been a day, barely, and yet he’d managed to fuck things up. He could only hope that Lev’s tactic of being honest and himself would work, but then again, he wasn’t sure his ‘charming’ personality would aid him very well. “So, you wanted to talk? Why the change of heart, Tsukishima-san?”

Now that hurt, but it was a fair point. He had, only fifteen minutes ago, said some pretty shitty stuff and basically told him to fuck off, which was nowhere near what he’d originally intended. Unknowingly though, with those few words and the guilt that he felt from hearing them, Kuroo had caused him to feel so much more overwhelmed. 

“I, um, I just wanted to say-“ Kei took a sharp breath before shakily sighing, biting his lip for a moment. Everything he’d thought of completely slipped his mind, and he felt his palms getting sweaty from the nerves. How could he do this, how could he be himself, when deep down he didn’t think that he was good enough? He was just going to mess things up, wasn’t he? He didn’t understand why he’d done this in the first place, why he bothered. Kuroo was going to hate him, he would never even like him, because Kei only ever fucked things up when he tried to get anywhere with people besides from his brother and Tadashi.

He knew it was stupid, getting so worked up over a guy he’d only met the day before, someone he barely knew. Yet, Tsukishima wanted to get to know Kuroo, even despite the fact that he’d annoyed him and got on his nerves, even despite that stupid smirk and the beautiful mix of adrenaline, fear and excitement he felt when he saw the third year looking at him. He wanted to run, and at the same time he was frozen in his place, and nothing was coming out. Kei was like a deer in headlights, and it was perhaps more embarrassing than apologising with a chance of being teased was in the first place. 

His breath hitched and his mind was working at a million miles an hour, and he didn’t know what to think or feel. He was scared, he didn’t know what to do. This was all new, all different, it was change whilst still being an exact repeat of every other time he’d tried to rebuild failed friendships.

And then, right when Kei didn’t know how he was going to manage to breathe again, Kuroo stepped forward, pulling him into a hug. “Just relax, Tsukishima, it’s okay. Breathe with me, and take your time, take as long as you need,” he assured gently, not a single sign of teasing or annoyance in his voice, only gentle kindness and sincerity. 

Kei let out the breath he’d been holding, and took another one, unable to stop himself from leaning into the hug. He’d been nervous before, but when Kuroo was like this, he couldn’t help but find the nerves dissipate. Maybe this was because of the crush, or something else, he didn’t know. But Kuroo was comforting him, he was caring for him in a way that he’d frankly never expected. It was wonderful, and it was working, because for whatever reason the older teen didn’t hate him and was still able to care even despite the horrible way he’d treated him.

“I’m sorry for what I said, I went too far,” Kei admitted after a moment, closing his eyes and pulling away from him, his voice quiet as he tried his best to be honest, without giving away all of the reasons that he was upset (because there was no way in hell he was going to be confessing). “I’m not really used to people teasing me like that, and I don’t particularly enjoy being treated as a child when my whole life I’ve been expected to look after myself and learn things for myself. I don’t know, I just felt like you weren’t taking me seriously, and maybe that’s your way of dealing with my crappy personality. It doesn’t matter, since I don’t even really know why I acted the way I did myself. Hell, I didn’t even really hate the teasing, just that I felt like a kid. I don’t know, I just, I really don’t want this to affect the team, because volleyball is one of the few constants I have right now. My point is, can we start over?”

Kuroo was quiet as he spoke, listening with silent encouragement as Tsukishima went though to what he had to say. When he was done, the third year nodded and gave him a smile. “Thank you for being able to tell me that, Tsukishima. I get that it was a big thing to say that, and I think it shows your character if you’re able to just step up and apologise so quickly so that it didn’t effect the team. I don’t think your personality is crappy, and this just proves that. Even if you freaked out a little, that’s okay, and it doesn’t make you any less of a person.”

Kei relaxed more hearing that, a soft blush on his cheeks. Well, he’d certainly not been expecting that sort of response from Kuroo, considering all of their past interactions, but he was certainly relieved. “It was never my intention to make you angry or feel like I saw you as lesser. You’re a first year, yes, but it’s only two years difference. I’m sorry that I made you feel that way, I really am, and I guess it just goes to show that there’s a lot to you as a person. I was just trying to have a little fun with you since you seemed a little lonely to me, I guess? I hadn’t expected you to lash out like that, that’s all,” he explained, holding out his hand for the blond to shake. 

Just as Kei was about to assure him that it was okay (somehow, because it was really sweet that Kuroo had noticed that he was lonely, if not a little unnerving that he was that easy to read), the other kept on talking, his expression much softer and fonder this time. It was a side that Tsukishima didn’t know a Kuroo had, but it was one he wanted to pay attention to and remember. 

“Maybe it’s dumb, but I’ll be perfectly honest with you as well. I think you seem like a really cool person, and it hurt a lot when you said those things to me when I just wanted to be friends. We’re going to see each other a lot, and I think we’d get along well, so it’d make me happy if we can put this in the past. I wasn’t exactly innocent either, so let’s just agree we were both at fault, yeah? Hi, my name is Kuroo Tetsurou, captain of Nekoma’s volleyball team. It’s nice to meet you, and I look forward to playing with you this year.”

As much as he was afraid to let down his barriers, Kei couldn’t help but find himself genuinely smiling as he shook the hand offered to him. “I’m Tsukishima Kei, but so we’re clear on names, you can call me Tsukki, or Tsukishima. No weird nicknames, got it? Other than that, likewise; I look forward to playing with you. Let’s have a good year.”

At hearing that, Kuroo’s soft expression burst into a bright smile, a proper one and not a smirk, and Kei felt his heart beat faster once more. He’d thought that soft look was nice, but now, it felt like there was this warmth exploding from inside and turning his body to mush. When Kuroo Tetsurou smiled like that, it felt like he was the centre of the universe, and it made him want to smile as well.

“Come on then, Tsukki, we have volleyball to play. You’re good, but you still have heaps more to learn when it comes to blocking. I might only be two years older, but have a few tips and tricks up my sleeves that I think you’ll find useful, hm?”

Feeling a weight lifted off his shoulders, Kei didn’t hesitate to agree.

x-X-x

Even though Kuroo had returned to smirking and teasing him a little when they returned back to the gym, Tsukishima found himself really enjoying his company. After their conversation, he could tell the older teen was more considerate about his choice of words so as not to make him feel uncomfortable, and there were times where they shared some actual conversations about blocking and volleyball, that Kei felt was really beneficial. Kuroo was smart, and he knew what he was talking about and exactly how to word things to him. Even when they got to the three on three game, the way he explained how different tactics could be used was fascinating. Kei realised this was probably how Lev felt when Yaku explained stuff to him, because he was in awe of their captain.

Even when it Kuroo was teasing and messing around with him and some of the others, it was more like a friendly banter than anything, and Kei realised it was probably the type of response that the captain was trying to go for when they first met if he hadn’t taken it the wrong way.

Especially after Kuroo being extremely sweet and actually comforting him, Kei knew the other was actually genuinely really nice despite the smirks and provocative personality he had. Any prior worries of having fallen for someone who was a total jerk had vanished, leaving him with absolutely no reason not to shamelessly pine over his captain.

Kei definitely didn’t get teased by Lev when he told him what had happened, including the part about Kuroo hugging him. 

Once more, the captain constantly made his way into Tsukishima’s mind throughout the day, and it was a wonder that he was able to focus on school work. The end of the day couldn’t come quick enough, and Kei found himself extremely excited for volleyball, knowing that things with Kuroo wouldn’t be making it miserable and difficult.

On the third day of school, Kei once again managed to be with Lev at just the right time to get the elevator when Kuroo and Kenma were. In an interesting turn of events, the captain had accompanied him down the stairs and Kenma was left dealing with an overly excited Lev who had to refrain from excitedly sharing about how cute he thought Kuroo and Tsukki were together.

That day, when Kuroo offered to walk with them to school, Kei smirked, reminded him that he was not a child, yet followed the older teen. As it turned out, Kuroo and Kenma’s way went through a park, and Tsukishima didn’t spend time later on thinking about the possible memories that they could create there during the different seasons on their walk to school (including Kuroo picking a leaf out of his hair in fall, sharing his gloves or scarf in the winter, and tucking a flower behind Kei’s ear in the spring). 

And so, as the rest of the days during that first week came and went, things began to fall into place. Kei and Lev hung out a lot, and when they weren’t it was usually during classes, or during training when they were working with other people or spending time with their respective crushes. In the morning, Kei would walk to school with Lev, Kuroo, and Kenma, and in the evening the four of them would walk home together. As it turned out, the setter, though quiet, was actually good company and Tsukishima was glad that they could get along well, seeming Kenma would be the person setting to him for the next two years, and Kuroo and Lev were a handful at times.

Even so, there was something about Tokyo and about Nekoma that just didn’t seem to sit right with Kei. He knew from the beginning that it wasn’t going to be anything like home, that it was different to Karasuno and he shouldn’t have expected to feel the same way about it, but he was feeling quite lonely and homesick. Lev and Kuroo were great, and they didn’t fail to bring warmth to his heart and a smile to his face, but they weren’t Tadashi and Akiteru. They hadn’t gotten to know him like they had, and he still had a long way to go before he was going to let either of them in completely. 

Kei still talked to Yamaguchi and Akiteru every evening, but that didn’t replace what should have been mornings and lunchtimes and afternoons, and the way that he missed the both of them. He didn’t tell anyone how lonely he felt going home to an empty apartment, seeing all the things there that he associated with his true family (Tadashi and Akiteru) and knowing that they were hours away. 

Nobody at school knew that he lived alone, the reason he had gone to Tokyo, or how his whole life had been turned upside down. And after spending time with them, Kei was afraid that telling them he wished he was elsewhere would ruin something else, because he truly was beginning to like their team even despite his prior opinions. It was stupid, and he knew that he should just be honest. His friends were kind and understanding, and he hoped they would understand that it was hard for him to completely enjoy life when it was so different. But Tsukishima was still scared of opening up, scared of losing those people and new relationships before they’d even really developed, and he didn’t know how to open up.

Instead of doing the logical thing and trying to talk it through with them, he buried those feelings deep inside, along with the many other insecurities and worries that he was too scared to share, and awaited the time when the weekend would arrive. When the weekend was there, he was heading back home to Miyagi, back home to Akiteru and Tadashi. There was a lot to catch up on, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was initially a little unsure about how things were going to go to get to some of the parts that I’ve got planned out, but I think things are beginning to be more on track now. We’re preparing to meet the crows and the owls soon, so be excited for the future. 
> 
> Also, I honestly am really loving the whole LevTsuki bromance if you can’t tell hehe... idk why but like, Tsukki constantly being surrounded by loud people/idiots that he has a massive soft spot for is just really vibing with me 
> 
> Kuroo and Tsukki also had a few moments, because let’s be honest Kei is a total disaster when it comes to feelings and Kuroo... well, you’ll all find out about how Kuroo feels eventually, if it wasn’t obvious enough already, but Kei is extremely dense so...
> 
> Anyways, a big thanks to all of you for the comments and kudos and other support. I really appreciate it and I’m glad you’re enjoying!


	5. Back Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kei meets some of the people in Karasuno

Perhaps he should have mentioned where he was going to go to at least Lev, but Tsukishima left for Miyagi without mentioning it to anyone. He was out and at the train station at five am, so that he could get there as soon as he could. Tokyo wasn’t home, and Kei felt so, so lonely even in his own apartment. It wasn’t that he disliked living alone, but there was nothing better that the sleepovers he had with Yamaguchi or Akiteru and the time spent with them. 

He put his phone on silent, not wanting to be interrupted at any point on this trip, and hoped that Lev wouldn’t get too worried because of his empty apartment. He could check that all later, because right now he needed to go back home and figure out some things.

The train trip took about three hours, giving him time to listen to music and just enjoy the peaceful journey. He was too apprehensive to read, and so instead thought about seeing Yamaguchi and getting to meet his team. Apparently, Karasuno did weekend training on Saturday mornings, and they didn’t mind if Kei came along and practiced with them. He was glad for that, because as much as it would hurt to see the team that could have been his, he hoped that perhaps he could get some closure by playing with them, or at the very least make a new friend.

Maybe if he played with them, he wouldn’t feel so bad about his own team. He wanted to love Nekoma, and so the hope was that by going to Karasuno, he would realise just how important his own team was to him. There were so many things he had to think through, so many things that he’d struggled with over the past week, and the only people he trusted enough to tell all of it to were Yamaguchi and Tadashi.

He’d made sure to text his brother the time he would be getting to the station, and to his joy, as he exited the train both Yamaguchi and Akiteru were there waiting for him with smiles on their faces. Kei usually wasn’t one to express himself through affection — even if he did actually quite enjoy being hugged, he would never admit that to anyone but the two people in front of him — but after a week separated from the two of them he couldn’t stop himself from running over with his arms open. 

Tadashi knew just what to do and ran forward as well, wrapping his arms around Kei and giving him a warm hug. Tsukishima hugged him back, letting out a sigh of relief and visibly relaxing. “I missed you so much, ‘Dashi,” he murmured, pulling away and giving him a smile before moving to hug his brother. “I missed you too, Aki-nii.”

“We’re glad you’re back, Kei,” his brother told him gently, not hesitating to hug him tightly and hold him close for a moment. “I missed our movie night last night, a lot... it just wasn’t the same without you there. No matter what anyone says, in my opinion it will never be lame to spend a night with my little brother watching movies. It beats going to the bar with colleagues any day, I’ll tell you that much.”

Kei’s expression softened, and he hummed softly in agreement. “Being in the apartment alone sucks, Tokyo isn’t home to me and I hate that I’m so far away. I could probably ask Lev to watch movies and he’d accept in a heartbeat, but I’m scared it’d feel too much like I was replacing our thing.” He pulled away from Akiteru and sighed softly, glancing down. 

“Oh, Kei, don’t let that stop you,” Akiteru assured, giving him a warm smile. “If you want to watch movies with your friends, if that’ll make you happy, then don’t be afraid to do that. If you really want, we can watch a movie while you’re here, or even make a new thing entirely, okay? You living over there doesn’t change that I love hanging out with you.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” he agreed, before smirking a little and glancing to Yamaguchi. “I wouldn’t want to be a soggy french fry, now, would I?”

The freckled teen blushed and lightly shoved him. “Hey! What did I tell you about insulting my choice of food, Mr. Strawberry Shortcake. I bet Kuroo would find it adorable that you like such a girly cake, hm?”

“Wait, who’s Kuroo?” Ah, yes, there was that problem as well. Perhaps he had neglected to tell his brother about his crush and left it to Tadashi to mention by accident just like this... because he really had no clue how to bring it up to him. He had seriously expected that his friend would have slipped already, and was actually kind of worried that Akiteru would have interrogated him as soon as he stepped off the train, but this was perhaps worse.

Akiteru looked surprised for a moment, and then he looked confused. Kei blinked, before looking to Yamaguchi and frowning innocently. “I thought you told him? I spent all this time expecting him to go mother hen on me from the get go, but you didn’t even tell him?”

“No, why would I tell him? Kei, I can’t believe you expected me to spill your secrets to him when it was something this big! Especially when I thought you’d tell him about it as soon as you got the chance,” Tadashi defended, pouting and shaking his head with an exasperated sigh. “Akiteru, our little Kei has finally gotten over the assumption that he’ll be forever alone, and caught feelings. From what I’ve heard, he’s quite the catch, as well.”

“It’s about bloody time!” The older sibling broke out into a grin and pat Kei on the back, beginning to lead them away from the train platform and to the car so that he could drive them to Karasuno on time for volleyball. Kei once again blinked, this time from surprise at the unexpected response. His brother knew he was gay, of course, but he hadn’t expected him to have been this excited at something like a crush. “So, tell me about this Kuroo guy. What’s he like? Did you meet in one of your classes?”

Kei blushed and averted his gaze, trying to think of a way to describe him. It was embarrassing to talk about with his brother, especially when he’d been adamant that he’d never like anyone or find love. “Not exactly, he’s in his third year. He lives in one of the apartments two floors above me, and he’s kind of the captain of the volleyball team. He likes to banter with me a lot, and he’s really fun to hang around, but more than that, he’s actually a really great guy. He’s handsome, and I’m not sure about school grades, but when he comes to volleyball he’s extremely tactical and it never ceases to amaze me how his mind works,” he admitted honestly, his ears burning and turning a crimson shade as Yamaguchi looked at him in disbelief.

“Kei! You didn’t tell he he was the captain of your team! That’s big news, you know?”

The younger Tsukishima shrugged and tried to hide his embarrassment, but it was way too clear. “I was going to tell you, but it was kind of hard to explain without being in person. There’s also another incident that I may have neglected to mention...”

Yamaguchi groaned and shook his head as they arrived at the car, opening the door and getting into the back with Kei as Akiteru sat in the drivers seat. “Spill, Kei, everything,” Tadashi told him, a small smile on his lips as he watched Kei blush more.

And so, he did, telling them about what had happened on that second morning, only leaving out the part about Kuroo walking in on him changing and his insecurities about that. He told them about some of the times they’d shared together in the past week, and the two listened to him. They seemed to be quite enjoying how flustered Kei got as he talked about his crush, and even when he’d finished telling them about what happened they grilled him for details and demanded pictures — pictures which Kei was unable to provide, but suggested that if Yamaguchi helped him get Instagram or Twitter later on that he might be able to find some. 

He’d wanted to get the social media apps anyways, as Lev had been bugging him about it since he wanted to take lots of photos together when they hung out and tag Kei in them, and everyone else in the team had one or both, so it would be convenient for him to get it as well.

They were pretty much done talking about most of the important by the time they got to Karasuno, and Kei was glad for that because both of them had a tendency to grill him when it came to anything and everything even remotely ‘juicy’. He didn’t know how they’d turned out to be such gossips, but he didn’t really mind since he did usually need to be prompted to open up. Akiteru said goodbye as they exited the car, as he was just dropping them off as he had things to do. Aside from his volleyball bag with his shoes, water, knee pads and phone, he left his stuff inside the car as he would be staying the night with Akiteru. There was no need to change clothes, thankfully, as Kei had already dressed appropriately. He was in plain black sport shorts, a white shirt, and a navy blue sport jacket, wanting to stay as far away from red as he could. As they made their way to the gym, there were already a few people inside. 

As Yamaguchi lead him inside, a pretty silver haired teen greeted them with a smile. “Good morning, Yamaguchi! You brought your friend, that’s wonderful! Hello, I’m Sugawara Koushi, the vice captain of Karasuno volleyball team, but you can just call me Suga. You must be Tsukishima, right?”

Kei nodded and gave him a half smile, feeling his heart beat a little faster. Sugawara wasn’t his type, but he was really pretty. “Uh, yeah, I’m Tsukishima. Tsukishima Kei,” he said, unsure exactly how to act around him and the rest of the people in the room, and not just because the setter was attractive. He struggled a little in this sort of social situation, especially when he had been longing to be a part of this team for so long. “Thank you for having me, I’m sorry to intrude on you all like this when I’m not a part of the school.”

“Oh, no need to apologise, Tsukishima-san. Yamaguchi asked us about it well in advance, and as long as you don’t cause any trouble it wouldn’t be an issue for you to join in.” This time it was another (quite handsome) guy that spoke, coming over to stand beside Sugawara. “I’m Karasuno’s captain, Sawamura Daichi. I’m afraid we don’t have as many people as usual because our libero and ace had a, uh, a bit of a disagreement and we’re trying to get them to come along again, and two of our other first years don’t really get along well.”

Kei nodded in understanding and shrugged a little. “Oh, I heard all about those two from Tadashi. They sound interesting, the notorious king of the court and a short, would be ace who lost to him the first time they met,” he said, an amused expression making its way onto his face as two more people entered the gym, no doubt the two troublesome first years themselves. He couldn’t help but build up a few walls, since he didn’t know how open he was willing to be around Hinata and Kageyama, in comparison to the captain and vice captain. “I did enjoy hearing about how they knocked off the principle’s toupee, that was a rather interesting story, was it not?”

The orange haired teen scowled when he heard the topic was brought up, walking over to Tsukishima. He wasn’t intimidating in the slightest, and if he was being perfectly honest with himself Kei found him kind of cute, but any of those thoughts were dismissed as he started talking. “Hey! Who do you think you are, walking in here and insulting us like that before we even met.”

“I’m not insulting you, just stating what I know, chibi-chan. It’s hard to amuse me, so I would take it as a compliment that I found your story funny,” Tsukishima replied calmly, giving him a smirk and pushing up his glasses. “Besides, I want to play volleyball as well, so why would I insult you when it would get me kicked out of here? I’d be interested to see if some of the rumours about your jumping are true, I find it hard to believe that someone like you could possibly be so good at jumping.”

“Of course they’re true! I’m probably way better at jumping than you, you beanpole. I’ll prove it to you, just you wait!”

Sugawara chuckled a little and stood between them to try and ease the tension, giving the shorter male a smile. “Hinata, I don’t think he meant to be rude to you. This is Tsukishima, Yamaguchi’s friend, and he’s going to be joining us for training today and on future weekends. Tsukishima, we were going to have a three on three game this morning to see if Kageyama and Hinata could work together. It was going to be Yamaguchi, Daichi and I against them and Tanaka over there, but if you would be interested in playing in my place you’re very welcome. We need someone who can referee, anyway, since Takeda-sensei is still learning about volleyball.”

After thinking for a moment, Kei glanced to Yamaguchi and nodded, smirking as he looked to Hinata. “I would quite enjoy that, Suga-san, thank you. I’ve heard that this guy,” he said, pointing to Kageyama, “is supposedly a really good setter, but I’ve yet to see anything that he’s decent at aside from scowling. It’d be fun to play a game with Tadashi again, especially against such interesting opponents.”

Kageyama growled at his words but nodded, him and Hinata looking between each other as if to say ‘we won’t let this guy lose’. And so, the six that were going to play stretched and got ready to play, taking their sides on the court. 

As the whistle blew, the game began, and Tsukishima hoped that it would be fun. 

It was just like any other three on three he’d played, but at the same time it was so vastly different. He was used to playing with Tadashi, taking up a more setter like role as well as his blocking as the team didn’t have anyone who actually played as a setter. It was fun to play volleyball, but at the same time there was something missing. There wasn’t that feeling deep inside that he felt when he really was getting into a volleyball match, and Kei wanted to figure out why.

In addition to that, somewhere along the line Kei found himself wanting to learn more about Hinata Shouyou, the orange haired boy that seemed to fly whenever he jumped. He wasn’t going to lie, at first he’d been a little annoyed at him — even if he was the one at fault for riling him up — but the teen shared a lot of similarities with Lev personality wise and he couldn’t help but have a soft spot for him. 

As much as Kei found it amusing to see Hinata react, and as much as he enjoyed being able to block the shorter male, he couldn’t help but be amazed at just how well he could jump, and admire the persistence that he showed. Not that he would tell Hinata that, of course, but Yamaguchi definitely seemed to notice. As the match went on, when Tsukishima spoke to him, despite seeming to be teasing him, he actually was giving Hinata advice in a roundabout way. (He would deny any and all accusations of this later on, of course.)

There was a taunting facade that he built during the match, that he kept on saying things like ‘how can you hope to block with your arms separated?’ and ‘you can jump, but what use is it if you jump too early and completely miss the block?’, as he tried to figure out what was missing from the match compared to every other one he’d played. Even despite the smug look Kei wore, he didn’t actually feel satisfied with any of his blocks, sets or feints. Perhaps it was silly, but he wanted to play a match against Hinata where the other was able to play properly, where it was a challenge. The only reason Tsukishima was decent at volleyball was because he was tall, had played for a while and he really enjoyed it, but Hinata? He clearly had the natural ability, stamina and a burning passion for the sport. 

And so, what really brought that feeling of satisfaction of a good volleyball match was when at the end of the match, when Kageyama finally tossed to Hinata, the boy ran up, and he jumped, and he spiked the ball. It was like magic, the toss was a little high, but it didn’t stop him from taking the challenge and jumping, in a fluid movement completing a stunning quick.

Kei felt his smirk shift into a satisfied grin as he glanced across the net and saw the excitement the other felt. “Hinata? Nice Kill.” His words, while simple, held no smugness, no sarcasm or rudeness, only encouragement.

Hinata was a little confused for a moment, before he realised that the compliment was genuine and beamed at him. “Thanks, Tsukishima. It was a good game, right? I feel like I got even better as I played, and then just now I hit the ball and it was just like whoosh! I’ll keep on getting better so that next time it’ll be a closer match, you hear me? I refuse to lose to you!”

“I don’t doubt it, but don’t think I won’t go easy on you, chibi-chan,” Kei replied, pushing up his glasses once more. “I don’t want to lose, either.”

x-X-x

Following the game they went on to doing drills and other things, and as the rest of the morning practice finished Kei found himself developing a friendship slash rivalry with the orange haired boy. It seemed that once he’d been a little nicer to him, Hinata didn’t want to leave him alone, claiming he and Tadashi were nicer than Kageyama. It also resulted in a nickname — Saltyshima, of all things — which Tsukishima begrudgingly accepted since it was at least better than someone else calling him Tsukki.

Or so he’d thought, before Hinata heard Yamaguchi call him that and began to call him Tsukki as well. It was nice while it lasted, but then again, Kei didn’t really mind.

The friendship was kind of nice though, and the thought of seeing these people every week was a nice one. Sugawara and Daichi were really nice (and also dating apparently), and so Kei felt like he was able to be a bit more like himself around the team since they clearly didn’t have an issue with same sex relationships. Even Tanaka, though excitable, turned out to be pretty cool. He was very similar to Taketora, and Tsukishima could only imagine what would happen if they met.

Their team was nice, it was open and mostly friendly, and it was so easy to be around all of them. Kei felt like he fit in with them, and though he didn’t particularly get along with Kageyama he could admit that the guy was very good at volleyball. It wasn’t until after he left the gym with Yamaguchi that he realised it was everything he’d ever dreamed of when he’d wanted to go to Karasuno. Yeah, he was salty as hell half the time, but people didn’t get angry at him and seemed to accept that it was just his way of dealing with new situations. It was almost cruel, the way the world worked, because instead of finding closure with the team he only found more longing.

It only made it harder for himself, because as much as he was really beginning to love the team at Nekoma, Karasuno was more like home for him than he ever felt with his own team. He loved getting to hang out with Lev and Kuroo, and a lot of the people at Nekoma were good people, but with everything going on he was still struggling to find his place within the school. Meanwhile, if he’d been at Karasuno, he’d have been able to slot right in. He’d have been able to see Yamaguchi and Akiteru, and play more volleyball with Hinata as a teammate instead of a rival. 

Even if he didn’t know the ace or libero of the team at Karasuno, he could already imagine how the team would work. He could imagine working together with Hinata, being the stability in defence the team needed while the shorter was dynamic and the perfect surprise and distraction. Especially with that jump and that quick, he was he completely opposite in playing style to Kei, and that was why it would work so well. 

He could visualise it all so clearly, and he hated himself for it, because he had a team and people that cared for him there. He felt like he was betraying Lev and Kuroo, and that made him feel like a shitty friend and teammate. It made him realise how terrified of the future, because he played very similarly to Kuroo. Lev was more like Hinata in personality, and he seemed to want to spike and be an ace as well as block, so he would likely take up the other middle blocker spot on the team when he was good enough. 

Kei loved volleyball, and he wanted to play, but he didn’t want to push either of them off the team just so he could do that. He was selfish enough as it was, he was blessed with so much that other people didn’t have, and they deserved the world. 

Lev was kind and his smiles were like the sun. Tsukishima liked it when he smiled, because even though he didn’t always smile himself, it made him happy. Lev was a good friend, Lev was caring and put up with his cold attitude and saw right through the barriers he put up.

Kuroo was, well, Kuroo. He had a kind heart, he was a great teammate and absolutely perfect for the captain role. He was dedicated and passionate, and when they had gone through their goals during one of the training sessions, he found out that their captain was aiming to win nationals. He brought out the best of Kei, shifting his snarky responses fo something more friendly and harmless. And when they talked, truly talked, it was the most wonderful thing in the world. 

Those two had made their way into his life, and he didn’t deserve them, because all Kei did was wish for what he didn’t have. 

Tadashi sighed at seeing the expression on his face, and took his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. He had a pretty decent idea of what this was about, as it could only likely be one thing that would cause his mood to shift so quickly from a happy one to one where there was such guilt and sadness in Kei’s eyes. “Come on, Kei, let’s go home. I wasn’t meant to say, but Akiteru made shortcake for you. We’ll get you that and some coffee, and we can talk about what’s on your mind.”

Tsukishima relaxed a little and nodded wordlessly, allowing the freckled teen to lead him to where his brother was waiting to pick them up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TsukiHina friendship/rivalry anyone? They won’t be as close as Lev and Tsukki, but it’ll be important later on because of this little bit of angst that’s going on as well. 
> 
> Also rip Tsukki- Karasuno has many cute guys- And all I’m going to say, he and his gay heart is going to struggle when he meets Bokuto and Akaashi-
> 
> Thanks for reading, and have a wonderful week! I’ll see you all soon for another chapter :3


	6. Memories Old and New

The car ride back home was almost silent aside from the music playing on the radio. Akiteru had noticed the way that Kei looked as soon as the teen entered, and after seeing the way that Yamaguchi looked at him he decided not to force his brother to speak. If he was upset, he probably didn’t want to talk about it in the car, and it was better to wait until they were at home where the environment was better than in a car.

The entire ride home, Kei continued to feel guilty, too scared to check his phone in case he had any messages from Lev or Kuroo (who had gotten his number the day prior for ‘volleyball purposes’, but had yet to text him). He really didn’t know how he was going to face the team when he got back, not when he felt the way he did. He was horrible for wanting to be at Karasuno instead, when the team had all accepted him and done their best to welcome him in. After all Lev and Kuroo had done for him that week, he felt like this.

They drove back to Akiteru’s apartment, a place the three of them had been many times, and Tadashi immediately lead Kei to the couch. He plopped down, curling up with his legs tucked close and his chin resting on his knees. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, closing his eyes and letting out a heavy sigh. His brother sat down on one side of him, Yamaguchi on the other, and they shook their heads.

“What is it, Kei? You haven’t done anything wrong, there’s no need to apologise,” Akiteru said gently, rubbing his back and giving him an assuring smile. “Was is something to do with what happened in there? You were so excited before when I dropped you off, I could tell.”

Kei shook his head, finding it hard to voice the words as the guilt tore at him from the inside. “No, I loved it, I really did,” he said truthfully, opening his eyes and looking over at his brother. “I loved it, and it was everything I ever wanted. Ever since you told me about volleyball, and your time there, I dreamed of playing with Yamaguchi and spending my high-school life there. Everyone was so nice, and I just fit right in even if I was a little cold at first, and they were all so talented in their own way. I wanted to stay there, to go to Karasuno and play with them, to work together with them and help their team grow. I can imagine a future with them so clearly, and that’s why I’m sorry, because I already have a team. At Nekoma, I have teammates that are nice to me, I have Lev and Kuroo, but it’s just not the same and I feel horrible because they tried so hard to include me and I wish I was somewhere else.”

A few tears welled up in his eyes, but he blinked them away before they could fall, not wanting to cry in front of anyone else, even these two. “And I know that it wasn’t my choice to go there, but it’s not a bad place and I should be grateful. I’m not alone, but every time I go back to the apartment I can’t help but feel lonelier than ever because I’m not with you. I miss home, I miss you guys, I miss being able to play volleyball with you every day. Volleyball at Nekoma is fun, too, but I’m worried for the future. I’m decent at it, but how I play is similar to Kuroo’s. I don’t want to try and replace him, because he’s so much better than I am and he’s dreamt of going to win nationals for a long time, but you can’t really have more than two middle blockers on a line up. That means there is only one more spot, and I know that once he gets the hang of things that nobody on the team is more suited for it than Lev. I want them to be happy, and I don’t want to be the reason they can’t play, but I just can’t imagine things going well. I’m scared, of messing up and hurting them, of being the reason the team falls apart, but most of all I’m scared of letting them in because then they’ll see how weak I really am.”

His breath hitched, and once more the tears welled up. He couldn’t let himself cry, because if he started to cry he wouldn’t stop. Kei hadn’t cried in front of someone else in years, and he didn’t want to change that now. Crying meant he was weak and that he was full of too many negative emotions to hold in. Crying wasn’t right, that was what he’d always told himself. He wouldn’t be one of those people that cried over any little thing, he was better than that.

“Oh, Kei,” Yamaguchi said softly, pulling him into a hug and gently running his fingers through his hair as Akiteru continued to rub his back. “I know it’s not easy for you, being far away from us during the week. It’s hard for us too, we miss having you around and it really, really sucks that we can’t play together all the time. But that’s just life, Kei. Changes happen, and sometimes that makes it hard, and it hurts, and you wish that things could have gone differently. The reality is, there’s nothing that you can do to change the situation. Tell me, if you’re completely honest, if you had the chance to go back into a world where you’d never met Lev or Kuroo and went to Karasuno, would you? Would you chose to forget them, and potentially never meet them again, just to have the team you had today and to stay here with us?”

He didn’t even need to think twice about the answer. Kei shook his head, letting out a choked sob and trying his best to keep calm. “No! Not now that I’ve met them,” he cried, finally allowing a tear to fall, and then another. “But I-“

“There you go, then. I know that it’s hard, Kei, change is never easy. I know that you feel that you don’t quite fit in, and that the team at Karasuno is great, but you wouldn’t want to give up what you have, even when you wish that it was what you’d had. You had a clear dream of what you wanted life to be like, and nobody is blaming you for finding it hard to accept how things are now. It’s natural to feel lonely, it’s okay to feel scared and like you don’t quite fit in. Even for me, as much as I loved the team, I struggled to see the point for a long time. All the times when I didn’t get to play, it made me question what the point of even trying was,” Akiteru admitted, giving him a gentle smile and moving to hug him as well. 

“But then, I looked to my teammates, the people around me. We were sitting off, but that didn’t make us any less part of the team or any less valuable. Do you remember that game where I finally got to play, Kei? One of my teammates had a nose bleed, nothing serious, but I had to be subbed in. I was so scared of messing up, that I would ruin it for everyone, but the people on my team assured me that because I put in the time and effort that it would turn out okay. Even those who weren’t playing, they cheered me on and told me everything I needed to hear, and that was why I was able to play. It was only because of them, and the bond I had with them, that I was able to really give it my all that day. There were other games where we needed to change things up to build momentum, or people needed a break, and other people in my team filled in as well. 

My point is, it doesn’t matter whether or not you’re a regular, because just you being there makes a difference. And next year, when Kuroo has graduated and isn’t in Nekoma, don’t you think he’d be relieved that you would be there to play? Or if he was injured, that he would be glad to have someone else like him on the team? I know every team is different, that every person will have different experiences. But my fondest memories from my volleyball team were the times I spent with them training. Yeah, the games were fun, and winning was special, but the people were even more so. It’ll take time for you to get used to it, and that’s alright, but I’m sure you’ll learn to love every part about your team. You might love the idea of playing with Karasuno, and their team, but you already have a team that you would chose over Karasuno. You aren’t betraying your team, nor Kuroo or Lev, you just need time to get used to how things work in Nekoma before it truly begins to feel like home for you. 

In the end, I think it’ll be a good thing that you aren’t at Karasuno, because that means that you have another team you can learn from, and another place you can play volleyball. I’m sure if you really wanted you could help organise practice matches with them or something.” Akiteru smiled and gently wiped away his tears, ruffling his hair. “Just getting this upset about it shows that you really care about Nekoma already. It shows that you have a kind heart in you, and that you want to be a good friend. You aren’t weak, and this doesn’t make you weak. It’ll be when you pull through the challenges that shows just how strong you are.”

Kei sniffled softly and curled up to Akiteru, closing his eyes and just letting his brother hug him like he used to when they were younger. “Thank you, Aki-nii, ‘Dashi,” he murmured, sighing softly. “I’m sorry for getting so worked up over this and ruining the mood, but it was really nice to talk to someone about this. I’m still just scared that I’ll open up to them and get attached, and that I’ll mess up and ruin things. I’m scared that if I open up to them they won’t want me and then I’ll be there away from you guys and even more alone than I was before.”

Tadashi let out a quiet sigh and shook his head, cupping Kei’s cheeks so that he was looking up at him. “Never apologise for that, Kei, we’re here for you and we’d much prefer to help you through things. It’ll help us to know that we’ve talked through it, and you won’t have been keeping it all to yourself. And about your worries, well, if they’re really friends with you, then they won’t do that. Can you honestly look at them and say they’re the type of people that would be so cruel as to do that? From what I’ve heard, they really care about you. Even if you need to take time to open up, I think they’d be glad you let them in eventually, and I don’t think they would want to force you to. As well as that, I think they’d want to help you if you ever felt like this again, they wouldn’t want you to be hurting and struggling alone. 

I know you, and I’ve seen you for who you are, and I can honestly say that there’s nothing there that could make me hate you. Everyone has flaws, everyone gets insecure and worries, and that just makes up who you are. Kei, you are the bestest best friend a guy could ask for, and I love you so, so much. You’re not perfect, but neither am I, and neither is everyone else. Just like with Nekoma, it’ll take time to get used to having new people in your life, but it’ll be worth it when you do.”

“I love you too, Tadashi, and Akiteru. You two are the best brothers and support that I could ask for,” Kei told them truthfully, a small smile making its way onto his lips. They had always been by his side, helping him through everything, and he couldn’t have come this far without their support. “I don’t know what the hell I did to deserve you guys, but I’m glad I’ve got you by my side.”

Akiteru smiled and nodded, humming softly. “Of course, and we’re just as glad to have you. Now, how about we head into the kitchen, I have a surprise for you there.”

“Ah, sorry Akiteru, I may have already told him about it,” Yamaguchi admitted, laughing sheepishly and rubbing the back of his head. “I figured it might help cheer him up or something.”

Kei sat up properly and shook his head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said innocently, standing up and gesturing for Akiteru to do so as well. He wanted to let his brother show him the surprise even if he knew what it was, he wanted to have that memory and to be able to look back on it fondly. “I’d love to see the surprise in the kitchen. ‘Dashi, can you grab my phone from my bag, please?” The freckled teen nodded, and the two brothers made their way into the kitchen where a beautiful looking strawberry shortcake was sitting in wait for them. “Oh, Aki-nii, it’s your best one yet!”

Akiteru nodded and beamed proudly at his brother, clearly happy that the younger liked his creation. “I’m glad you like it! I made sure I was extra careful with the recipe and really took my time! I got all of the ingredients this morning, so the strawberries are fresh and just the way you like them. I haven’t tasted it, though, but I think it turned out well. I just figured that you had a big first week, and being able to have your favourite food would cheer you up.”

“It means a lot that you’d do that for me, Akiteru,” Kei said with a smile, glancing over as Yamaguchi came over with his phone. He took it out so that he could take a photo of the treat, only to see that it had blown up with notifications. Most of them were from Lev, but some were from Kuroo and a couple were from Hinata (who he’d recited his number to after the ginger asked for it. 

He bit his lip, feeling a little guilty that he hadn’t told anyone where he was going, and quickly replied to Lev and Kuroo, explaining that he’d gone to visit some family for the weekend. He’d not thought that they would be so worried about him, but it was nice that they cared about his wellbeing. 

Following that, he finally got around to taking a few pictures of the shortcake before they cut it. Yamaguchi cut a few pieces of it for them, while Akiteru made them coffee, and it wasn’t long before they were all seated at the table together. After a moment’s thought, he took a deep breath and pulled at the camera on his phone again. “Would it be okay if we had a few pictures? It’d be a nice memory to have, you know...”

Yamaguchi and Akiteru nodded and grinned, the pair taking some photos of just the brothers, of Kei and Yamaguchi, and then a selfie of all three. 

By the end of the day and a movie marathon later, when he’d finally gotten his Instagram and Twitter up and running (both private accounts), he’d posted a few of the pictures. In each one Kei was in, he was smiling.

Even as he went to sleep that night, glad to be with the two again, he found himself looking forward to seeing the team back at Nekoma again. Change was hard, and maybe it wasn’t the life he’d dreamed of, but there were still wonderful things to be experienced. That was the moment that Tsukishima Kei really began to feel that things in Tokyo wouldn’t be so bad, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some hurt/comfort and platonic TsukkiYama for the soul. Kei’s finally starting to accept life at Nekoma, which is fun!
> 
> If things go to plan, then next chapter we’ll get to see Fukurodani, the return of the LevTsukki bromance, and maybe even a jealous Kuroo, so be hyped for that!
> 
> As always, thanks for reading, for the kudos and the comments! It’s always nice to see that people are enjoying it :3


	7. Under Moonlit Skies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve postponed introducing Fukurodani until next time, but I hope the KuroTsuki fluffy scenes and TsukkiLev bromance is worth the wait

When Tsukishima made his way outside that Monday morning, having returned from Miyagi late on Sunday night, he wasn’t expecting to find both Kuroo and Lev outside of his house. 

He wasn’t expecting to be tackled into a hug by Lev either, but that was beside the point.

Usually he had to wait a minute on Lev, and the third year (along with Kenma) would make his way down the elevator to their floor just at the right time to catch them both. Seeing the pair already there when he exited was unusual, but it did make his heart swell a little with joy. The surprise was a pleasant one, especially after the conversation he’d had with Tadashi and Akiteru on Saturday.

“Tsukki! I missed you!” Lev said with a grin, pulling away and lightly hitting the blond on the head. “Now, don’t ever do that again. It’s cool that you get to see your brother and stuff, but you gotta tell me in advance before I freak out.”

“He did more than freak out, I had Lev banging on my door like a lunatic saying that you were missing and weren’t responding to any of his texts, and he thought you might respond to mine,” Kuroo said, yawning and running a hand through his hair. “I tried telling him you could look after yourself and your phone was probably on silent, but he wouldn’t take no for an answer. He freaked out just as much when you finally did respond, you should have seen his face. It wasn’t as funny as when he was running away from Kenma, though.”

“Oh, that’s right! I had to deal with Kenma, because he stays up late playing games and then sleeps in, and I woke him up. I never would have guessed, but he’s scary as hell sometimes, believe me,” the half Russian added, shuddering at the thought before returning to grinning, starting to lead them in the direction of the stairwell. “He’s waiting down the bottom for us, so we should probably get there before he gets annoyed.”

Kei chuckled a little at the story and nodded, Kuroo staying back a bit and walking beside. The older teen was standing rather close, only a couple of centimetres between their shoulders, but his close presence wasn’t unwelcome. When Tsukishima glanced over at him, it made him happy to find Kuroo was giving him a gentle smile. “It’s good to see you’re alright, Lev said you got back rather late last night. I know you can look after yourself, but I get worried if you’re out and about when it’s dark,” he told Kei softly, his tone just as caring as the expression he wore.

The blond shrugged, somehow managing to stop his blush but not preventing his ears from turning a shade of pink. “Sorry for worrying you, I just got back from the train late and needed to have dinner still. I’ll probably be going there most weekends, so unless I say otherwise expect that I’ll be there,” he explained, moving one of his hands to be holding onto his bag strap. “But my Friday nights are free, as is every other night but Saturday night, really. I don’t go anywhere, and I always go home from school with either you or Lev, so there’s no need to worry, okay?”

“I know, I just don’t want anything to happen to you. The area is generally safe, but there’s been a couple of incidents in alleyways in the past year. If you ever need to go out for whatever reason, like if your Kaa-san needs you to buy something to make dinner, I’d be happy to walk with you. You’re fun to hang out with, anyways.”

Kei’s breath hitched a little at his words, his ears beginning to burn and a light pink dusting his cheeks. Of course, it wouldn’t ever be his mother or father asking him to buy something, but it wasn’t like Kuroo knew. It would be a while before he was ready to admit to anyone that he lived alone, but he still felt a little guilty that he couldn’t tell them. His heart still began to beat a little faster even despite that, because of the sheer thoughtfulness of the other male. He knew that Kuroo was nice, but now he was being extremely sweet and offering to walk with him to the store. 

Kei was struggling to fully comprehend the situation, and he found himself unable to come up with an answer aside from looking away and wordlessly nodding. Was it normal to offer to walk someone to the store like that? He didn’t know, maybe it was just a Kuroo thing. A part of him hoped that it was just a special thing that he’d offered to Kei, but that was unlikely. He didn’t even know if the other liked guys, and if this was just how he treated his close friends.

It was just a shame, because if he’d continued to look, perhaps he might have noticed Kuroo’s tan skin turn a shade of red as well.

x-X-x

Following that incident, things went back to normal. Well, as normal as things could possibly be when they hadn’t known each other for very long. 

The next event that was worth noting was two weeks later on Friday afternoon when they were practicing. Having been back to Karasuno to practice with them twice now, Kei had found himself struggling to block against some of Tanaka’s spikes, and so had done the only logical thing, asking Taketora if he could work on blocks while he spiked. The two were very similar in personality, and though their styles were slightly different when it came to spiking, it was good practice. 

It was also very exhausting to keep up for a long time, since Taketora had lots of energy and Kei really had to think about timing his jump to block his spikes. The guy was their team’s ace for a reason, after all. He was improving, but it was kind of hard to get feedback when Kuroo was on Lev duty so that Yaku could spend some time with Shibayama talking through libero stuff. 

Lev, though full of energy, was less hyperactive when it came to their captain than with Yaku. Kuroo pushed him, and Lev tended to be more intimidated by him then he was with any of Yaku’s threats, for obvious reasons.

For Kei, he’d spent most of his time learning to block on his own, since on previous teams the coaches had wanted to focus more on people that needed to improve, rather than someone that was at a decent level already. He understood that way of thinking, since in a younger team it was better that everyone had developed solid skills, but over the past few weeks he’d found himself being able to learn a lot from both Kuroo and the coach. 

The experience with Taketora was good, but at the same time he found himself wanting someone to be able to tell him how he was doing and what he could be doing better or worse. He just wasn’t willing to interrupt Lev’s training, because he knew that at the end of the day, his friend loved knowing he was getting better and was getting closer to his dream of becoming ace. 

Even so, as they took a break to have a drink and pick up the spiked volleyballs, Kei did find it kind of nice. Taketora was a handful, but he hadn’t hesitated to agree to the practice when Tsukishima had asked. They hadn’t really talked before, or interacted much at all, but he treated Kei just like anyone else on the team.

He finally believed he was beginning to fit in, and he couldn’t help but smile at the thought. 

“Enjoying yourself, I see?”

Kei hummed softly as he put down his water bottle, glancing to Kuroo who had walked over. From the corner of his eye, he could see Lev was lying on the floor in a pile of sweat, causing his smile to grow a little wider. “Yeah, I am. It’s good to practice blocking Taketora, even if he is, well, Taketora.”

The dark haired male chuckled softly and nodded. “I was surprised to see you asked him, but it’s good experience. One thing I want you to try though, is to position you hands like this.” Kuroo first held up his arms to demonstrate the angle, which Kei tried his best to mimic. He didn’t have it quite right, obviously, and the next thing he knew he felt a pair of warm hands on his, gently guiding them to be positioned correctly. “There, more like this, okay? Shutting him down feels good, I get it, but sometimes the best thing to do is create an opportunity for someone else to pick up the ball. This is usually how I have my hands when I do it.”

Kuroo’s voice was soft; there was no reason for him to be loud when they were so close together. Kei could feel his breath, warm against his skin, and found himself unable to look away from the other’s eyes. “I’ll try,” he whispered, hoping his voice didn’t seem too breathless and dumbstruck, or that his cheeks weren’t too dark a shade of red. “I doubt I’ll be able to get it straight away, so you’ll have to hang around a bit and tell me how I go.”

“I’m all yours for the rest of training, Tsukki, so you can take as long as you need.” Kuroo smiled and pulled away, and perhaps it was Kei’s imagination, but he could have sworn his hands lingered a little longer than normal. He thought that he saw the captain’s cheeks turn a bit red as well, but that was definitely his imagination because Kei wasn’t blush-worthy. Whatever was the case, he considered himself lucky that he was actually able to register what Kuroo had said.

x-X-x

Through the rest of the training, thanks to Kuroo’s careful guidance, Kei was actually able to make some sort of progress. How he was able to focus on volleyball and not his crush he didn’t know, because when Kuroo promised to be his for the rest of practice he really meant it. He blocked beside Tsukishima, close like they would be in the game, and after each block he would provide some feedback. Sometimes it was just an approving nod, and sometimes he took the time to give him some advice. For most of the plays he would let Kei decide the timing, apart from a few that he would get Tsukishima to move in sync with him.

Still, he was pretty worn out by the end, his legs aching from the constant jumping and arms sore from both the blocking and holding them up. He’d never been more thankful when it was time to cool down, pack up and head home.

Kei practically had to drag Lev off the gym floor and to the club room to get changed, the silver haired teen even more exhausted that he was. Kai had taken over working on his receives after the break, and the only reason Lev actually had the motivation to continue was because of something Yaku said to him. 

As usual, Tsukishima didn’t waste any time getting changed before waiting outside. He was pretty much always the first one done, never taking his time to stick around and chat like everyone else did when they changed. Not only was he insecure about how he looked, he also struggled to be around that many sweaty, half naked guys in the one room (especially when one of those sweaty, half naked guys was Kuroo). Kei wasn’t out to the team yet, and he didn’t know if he would come out to them anytime soon, and he didn’t want to come out in the middle of everyone changing.

What it did mean was that he always spent a good ten to fifteen minutes waiting for Lev or Kuroo to finish up and be ready to walk home with them, because they all had things to talk about and conversations to finish. 

Tonight, he was just waiting on the silver haired male, as they had planned to watch movies together. It had taken Kei a couple of weeks to build up the courage to ask Lev, and less than a second for the offer to be accepted. At seeing the state Lev was in though, and how he immediately perked up when Yaku began to talk to him when practice was over, Kei figured he’d be in for a longer wait than usual. 

He sighed softly, sitting down beside the door and pulling out his phone. The evening air was nice; not too cool nor too warm, and the sky was a light purple, sun having just set not too long ago. The moon was full and bright in the sky, and in all honesty it was a beautiful evening. Tsukishima wasn’t taking any of it in, though, his thoughts filled with memories from their training and time spent with Tetsurou. 

He blushed a little at the thought of Kuroo’s first name, wondering for a moment what it would be like to call him that, and then trying to pinpoint when he’d started referring to him as ‘Tetsurou’ in his mind.

Going onto Instagram, he took a photo of the night sky, and after making ‘fly me to the moon’ play in the background he added it to his story. The only people that currently followed his social media were Tadashi, Akiteru, Lev and Hinata, and he didn’t use it for much other than documenting important memories. This, he felt, seemed to be one of them. The training had been an eventful one, after all, at least in terms of precious memories.

Right now, he felt blissful and at peace, and though the club room was full of chatter he couldn’t make out any of it. He felt childish for feeling this way, but he knew he liked Tetsurou, and remembering all of their interactions and conversations made him happy. He was just like all the other people his age, falling in love, and right now he didn’t want to stop. He wanted to be able to look into his archives even when the story disappeared, and remember what it felt like to have the sweet warmth of love welling up inside, and to know that when he went home he had a friend to watch movies with.

Whether he would stay awake for those movies, he didn’t know, because he was feeling rather tired. Maybe that was why he felt so mushy on the inside, not that he was bothered to figure out the reason. He put away his phone, leaning back against the wall and closing his eyes. A soft blush was on his cheeks, accompanied by a small smile, and for the first time in a long time he felt truly happy to be in Tokyo. He was looking forward to going home to Miyagi tomorrow, but he was also looking forward to going back to school on Monday and playing volleyball with the team. 

Caught up in his thoughts, Kei didn’t immediately notice when the club room door opened, but heard footsteps and voices and figured that most of the first and second years were walking out and heading off. He only realised that someone else had come out when there was the gentle thud of a bag dropping on the ground, and Kuroo sat down beside him. Kei yawned, opening his eyes and glancing over, his heart skipping a beat when he saw who it was. 

“You did really well today, Tsukki,” Tetsurou said softly, giving him a warm smile and chuckling lightly as the blond hummed in thanks. Kei yawned again as Kuroo continued to speak, rubbing his eyes yet continuing to look over at the other. “I think Lev’s going to be a while, he seems pretty into whatever conversation he’s having with Yakkun. If you‘re tired, you can rest your head. I don’t mind, I don’t have anywhere to be or anything.”

Kei’s eyes widened slightly, the blush on his cheeks growing a shade or two darker. He felt the corner of his lips turn upwards, and after looking into his eyes for a moment he nodded, shuffled a little closer before resting his head on Kuroo’s shoulder. “Thanks,” he murmured, closing his eyes and letting himself relax. Tsukishima couldn’t stop himself from accepting, not when Kuroo had looked at him the way he did. He didn’t understand why Kuroo was so kind to him, why he’d seen such tenderness in those hazel eyes, but right now he didn’t want to think about why. Right now he was tired, and just wanted to enjoy this moment in peace.

It was a strange sensation, that even when he should have been nervous and jittery, when his heart should have been racing at a million miles an hour, he was calm and content being close to Kuroo. After a bit of silence, he found himself coming up with more and more things that he wanted to ask or say, wanting to hear Kuroo’s voice. But also, there was one thing in particular that as he thought about, he knew he had to say it even if it was a little scary to. If Tetsurou was being so caring with him, he wanted to show in his own way that he cared as well.

“You were right, you know,” Kei finally whispered, opening his eyes and looking up at the stars. The night was clear, and the sky was gradually growing darker, allowing them to shine a bit brighter. Even through the haze of Tokyo, there were a few that were still visible, and Kei was always glad to see them.

“Hm? How so?” 

Even without turning his head, Kei could feel Kuroo looking at him, and he bit his lip lightly. Maybe it was too soon, but he really felt like he wanted to thank Kuroo, even if he was scared to open up. “Back on that day when I said all of those things to you, when we went behind the gym, you said that you thought I looked lonely. You were right when you said that, because I was lonely. I still am, a lot of the time. But, these past three weeks, you’ve also been one of the few people to actually put in an effort to spend time with me. I’ve never really had lots of friends before, and being in Tokyo means I’m away from my brother and my best friend, the two people that I’m closest with. None of my friends from volleyball teams or classes have stuck around apart from Tadashi, and until two weeks before school started I was meant to go to a different high school with him. And then my parents moved to Tokyo for work, I was transferred to Nekoma, and at first I had nobody. But you, and Lev as well, have come to my life and been nothing but kind to me, being there even when there are so many other people you could be spending time with. And that’s special for me, because when I get to be with you, all of a sudden Tokyo isn’t so lonely anymore.”

Kei lifted his head from Tetsurou’s shoulder, looking away and shuffling over a bit. He was afraid of what he might find if he looked up, afraid of being laughed at even if he knew that Kuroo wasn’t that kind of person. He’d said so much, and though he’d wanted to show him he cared, he was afraid that he’d practically confessed that he liked him with that last sentence. What if he was figured out, and Kuroo hated him? What if he’d ruined everything?

Just as he was about to get up and run, he felt a hand on his, and soon after another on his cheek. As he hesitantly opened his eyes, he saw that kind smile on Kuroo’s face, and all of those fears disappeared. “I’m glad that I was able to help you, then,” Tetsurou whispered, bringing Kei into a hug. It was warm and comforting, and there was a beautiful tenderness in the way the dark haired male held Kei close. “I’m glad you trust me enough to admit that, because I want to be there to help you, Tsukki. I don’t want you to be lonely, so if you ever feel that way just let me know and I’ll do everything I can to help it go away. You’re important to me, even if we only met three weeks ago. It doesn’t matter to me if we’d known each other for three weeks, or three years, so don’t think you’d be a bother.”

After finishing speaking, Kuroo pulled away, giving him another warm smile and squeezing his hand gently before letting go of that too. Kei returned the smile with one of his own, letting out a soft sigh of relief in knowing that he hadn’t messed up, and something good had come out of the whole situation. “Kuroo-“ 

Just as he was about to speak, any words he might have had were stopped as the door swung open. Taketora exited, followed by Kai, Kenma, Lev and Yaku, the libero closing and locking the door to the club room. Kei jumped a little in surprise, hastily grabbing his bag and standing up, his heart racing. 

Lev looked rather happy about something, and Yaku was obviously trying to hold back a smile, the libero’s gaze flittering between Lev and the floor. Everyone else seemed oblivious to what had happened between Kei and Tetsurou, the intimacy they had just shared. Still, he desperately wished that it could have lasted longer, that they could have continued their conversation.

Lev and him had made plans though, and he’d already told Kuroo that morning that the two were going back together and he could walk with a Kenma, so there was no changing that now. When the silver haired teen saw Kei, he beamed and grabbed his hand, jumping about excitedly, and Kei knew that it was just as important for him to spend time with Lev as it was Kuroo. “Tsukki! You ready for an epic night of movies? I’ve got all the Studio Ghibli movies so we can watch one of those, or something else, I don’t mind!”

“Uh, Howl’s Moving Castle, if that’s okay,” he replied quietly after a moment, biting his lip and glancing back to Kuroo who had also stood up. He was still hesitant to go ahead, especially when they wouldn’t get to see each other until Monday. Tetsurou seemed to want to say something as well, but smiled at him and nodded, waving a bit and walking over to Kenma instead. Kei’s heart clenched somewhat, but he began to walk ahead with Lev anyway.

At seeing Kei’s expression, Lev frowned and poked his cheek with his free hand, the other still holding Tsukishima’s. “Hey, what happened? You look sad,” he asked, concern in his voice.

Kei shrugged, walking faster and waiting until they were far enough ahead that the others wouldn’t hear before he spoke up again. “I’m just a little tired, Lev, and I was having a moment with Kuroo and now I’m a bit overwhelmed, that’s all. Are you sure it’s okay for me to come over? Your parents won’t mind or anything?”

Lev nodded in understanding at the first part, before seeming to react a little to the last question. His smile faltered a little, and he shook his head, a more serious expression on his face. “Of course, it’s perfectly fine for you to come over. I probably should have mentioned this earlier, but I didn’t know how to bring it up in conversation. My father passed away not long after I was born, my sister moved out, and my mother is on a business trip so she’s almost never home,” he explained, chuckling sheepishly (though it sounded more sad than anything) and looking away. “So I’m actually really glad that we can hang out since nights get lonely. Sorry if I seemed a little too excited to accept when you asked, but I’ve never had a movie night with anyone before.”

“Oh.” Kei frowned, stopping and looking around the area to figure out where they were. “Come on, then.” Instead of going straight, he took a left, pulling Lev in the direction of a nearby convenience store. 

The half Russian looked confused, unsure how to take the response, or lack thereof, and the fact that the blond was suddenly dragging him along. “Wait, Tsukki! Where are we going?”

Not looking back at him, Kei began to speak, his words quiet but loud enough for Lev to hear. All previous thoughts surrounding what happened with Kuroo were buried deep inside for the moment, since this took precedence. “Okay, so, as it turns out, my parents are never home either. Technically they don’t even live in the apartment with me, and I’m only there because I didn’t want to live in a big house all alone and they did kind of force me to Tokyo against my will. It’s a long story, and also kind of depressing, and we planned to do this movie night so that’s what we’ll do. Besides, I’m tired and now isn’t the time for a serious conversation about deep family stuff. We can do that another day, okay? I know it’s important, but I think it would be best for us both to just enjoy tonight before I head off tomorrow. Right now, we’re going to get snacks and stuff, we’ll order a pizza, and I’m showing you what it’s like to have a proper movie night with your best friend.”

Lev’s eyes widened in surprise, and he frowned a bit as Kei continued to talk. He thought for a moment at hearing the suggestion of talking later, and when he heard what the blond wanted to do he soon broke out into a small smile, taking longer steps to keep up with Tsukishima. “I think I agree. But we better have that conversation on Sunday when you get back or Monday night, since I think it’d be good for both of us. Still, are we really doing all of this? You’d do all of that for me?”

“Uh, duh. Lev, you idiot, did you not hear me? You’re one of two people I consider my best friends.” Kei turned around and gave him a smile, tugging lightly on his arm and pulling him along faster. “Now, come on, it’s starting to get a little chilly and I want to get this stuff and get home. And don’t think I didn’t notice the looks Yaku was giving you as you left the club room, or how happy you were. Spill.”

Lev smiled and nodded, clearly having cheered up a bit more again at the thought of his crush. “Okay! So, I don’t know if it would be considered a date or just a thing between friends, but we’re going to see a movie tomorrow! As we were getting changed and talking, Yaku-chan mentioned how he wanted to go see this horror movie and nobody else was interested...”

Kei raised an eyebrow, thinking back to the movies that he’d remembered were out at the moment. “So you agreed? Do you even know what movie it is you’re going to see, Lev?

“Nope! Everyone said it’s super scary, but I actually really like horror movies since I go out and watch them with my sister Alisa. I think she said she saw one with her friends last weekend and it was really good, so it’s probably that one.”

“Ah, okay, as long as you’re sure about it, then I’m happy for you.” He smiled and let go of Lev’s hand, slowing down as they made their way into the store. “Just be yourself and don’t call him short, small, or any variant of that, and I’m sure you’ll be fine. Yaku seems like the type of guy to like someone genuine, so whether it’s a date or not I think he’d appreciate you not trying too hard to impress him with flowers or some other overly romantic gesture. If it goes well at the movies, you could offer him lunch or ice cream or something, just see how it plays out. Besides, no matter what, if he doesn’t like you for who you are, then he’s not worth it.”

Lev nodded and walked with him to the isle with the chocolate and lollies, humming softly as they stopped walking. “Thanks, Tsukki, I appreciate the advice! Now, what snacks should we get?”

“I think these ones would be good...”

Kei pointed some out, looking back at Lev and smiling as well. They were both really looking forward to this, and rightly so. They had a wonderful night ahead of them, and it was only one of many nights that the duo would spend together. The deep conversation could wait, but deep inside they were both happier, having found someone who understood and could help ease some of the sadness that came with living alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m freaking out here- they’re all so soft oml- if it’s not obvious, well, tetsu has a massive crush as well and kei is in denial that it’s possible-
> 
> okay so I feel like this is one of the better chapters that I’ve done for this one in terms of ship content, and there’s more where that came from (there’s some scenes I’m dying to write with them) so I’d like to know if you liked them being soft
> 
> anyways as always a big thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!


	8. A downward spiral

When Kei got back home from visiting Tadashi and Akiteru on Sunday evening, he didn’t expect to find his mother and father there of all people. They rarely ever showed up, and when they did it was either to tell him something was going on, or to ask him for a favour (such as playing piano for some fancy business dinner or event, or going along to give a ‘good appearance’). He hadn’t heard a word from them the entirety of the time he’d been at Nekoma, so entering the house to see them was a surprise.

He stiffened, first making his way into his room to put down his bag and headphones, before making his way into the kitchen. “Otou-san, Okaa-san. It’s good to see that you are doing well,” he told them, plastering on a fake smile. It was the very same one he spent so long perfecting, so he could uphold the ‘perfect son’ act for them when they went out. “What brings you here? Is everything alright with work?”

Kei’s mother looked over from the table where she was holding a mug of tea, beaming at him and nodding. “Yes, everything is going really well for both of us. Things are thriving, and we’re further ahead of schedule than we thought. We just wanted to check in on how you’re doing at school,” she said, a brightness in her voice that Kei was not used to hearing. Or, that he hadn’t been used to hearing until recently, when everything was going exactly how his parents wanted it to.

“I’m doing good at school. My grades are good and I’ve been told I’m understanding the content really well,” he said, going over to sit at the table beside his father. There was no need to say anything about friends or things like that, simply because they wouldn’t really care.

The man didn’t smile at him when he came over, didn’t provide any warm greeting, and grunted in approval at what Kei said. “Just as we expected from you,” he told him, patting his back just a little too rough to be considered affectionate. “You’ve done well, and you’ve taken good care of this apartment. I’ve talked with your coach as well, and he’s impressed with your progress playing volleyball. We know how much you were looking forward to going to that school Karasuno with your little friend, and your mother and I have been talking a lot recently about work and your future. Things are looking good for us, and we have more plans to expand across Japan and into Europe and the America’s in the next couple of years. We will be moving around a lot, and though I don’t doubt your work ethic, we believe it will be too detrimental to your learning if you keep on changing schools.”

Oh, of fucking course. So this was what they wanted to talk about, after all. They never really seemed to care about him as a person, only that he was going well at school and could continue being their perfect son. Tsukishima knew his father never wanted him, that he was the mistake, and his whole life he’d done his best to make up for that. Ever since he was a child he put in his all, even when his parents didn’t care to see the results, and he had no reason to stop now. Still, this conversation was all to familiar to him, all too much like the one he’d had five weeks ago when they told him he would be moving to Tokyo. It meant that it would either be a very good, or a very bad conversation, and Kei was scared.

He didn’t let the smile fall, only tensed up and fidgeted with the hem of his shirt. “I agree, Otou-san, it would be preferable not to be moving schools a lot,” he said politely, before looking to his mother who clearly wanted to be the one to give the news by the way she was having trouble staying still in her seat. 

“Well, like your father said, we’ve been talking about what to do with you. You’re a responsible young man, and we trust you to take good care of yourself no matter where you are. We’ve decided that if you would like, you can move into an apartment in Miyagi and go to Karasuno instead! You just have to tell us, and we’ll organise everything for you. You can be going there and all moved by the start of next week,” she told him happily, the tone of voice just a little to fake to be genuine excitement for him.

Kei’s eyes widened, and his smile faltered, before it fell into a frown. “What do you mean? You can’t be serious,” he responded, unable to keep looking at them and instead looking at his hands. “I’ve only just got settled in here in Tokyo, and now you give me the option to go back? What about my friends here, what about my team?”

His father let out a sigh, shaking his head, and Kei knew what was coming, that there was a ‘but’ to all of this. He knew that, but he wasn’t prepared for it, and as he heard his father’s next words his world once again came crashing down. “Look, it’s your choice what you do, we aren’t forcing you to go back if you don’t want to. The thing is, with paying expenses for your apartment whether it be here or there, we can’t afford to pay for train tickets to Miyagi or Tokyo every weekend. If you stay here, you’ll only be able to see Akiteru and your friend every month or two unless you get a job and pay for your own train fares, and vice versa. We were willing to pay for them this first month to help you get accustomed to everything, but it’s expensive and it all accumulates to a lot over a year. Every month or two or if there’s something special like Christmas or birthdays, we’ll pay for them, but not every weekend. You have to chose, Kei, and you have to chose today, so I’d think about how important these ‘friends’ of yours are to you, compared to people you’ve known for years.”

“I see, that makes sense...” he said slowly, and it did. He couldn’t expect his parents to pay for every little thing in life, even if it meant he would have to make sacrifices with who he would see. He was blessed with so much, even if he didn’t feel like he was because of all the loneliness he’d felt over the years as a result of a lack of time spent with them. He understood their perspective, but hearing his father talk so lowly about his new friends made his heart ache even worse, especially when there was really only one choice that he could make. “Thank you for the kind offer, but I’m staying here, I’m staying at Nekoma. Its been nice talking, but you’ll excuse me I have to unpack, wash my clothes, and prepare my bag before school tomorrow.” His voice strained as he spoke, and he was just barely able to keep it together when he’d been confronted with that situation. Kei stood up, bowing before making his way to his room. Not saying another word, he shut the door, and curled up under the covers, hiding his face in the pillows.

He knew that there was really no decision that needed to be made, since how was he supposed to chose between his brother and oldest friend, and all of the new friends he’d made here at Nekoma? He simply couldn’t decide between people, but rather what would be best for himself for a change. He needed to go with what his heart was telling him, and that was that he would always have Akiteru and Tadashi. They would be able to keep talking and they would be able to stay just as close no matter what. They would want him to be happy, and Nekoma was the place where he would be happy, it was the place that he could call home, the place that he belonged.

All of the hurt and pain he’d felt on that first Saturday when he’d talked to Akiteru and Yamaguchi had returned, but it was so much worse now. All he’d ever wanted was to go to Karasuno, and to be with Yamaguchi and Akiteru. Now, what he wanted to was to keep on going to Nekoma, but that meant not being able to see the two people that had supported him the longest, the two people that knew him best. He knew they could call on skype, that they would stick around, but it didn’t make it any less hard.

To hell with crying being a sign of weakness, because Kei couldn’t hold it back, tears flowing uncontrollably and sobs only muffled because of his pillows. If there was anything worth crying over, this was most certainly it. He still did his best to hide it though, not wanting to show his parents this side of them when they were no better than strangers.

A minute later, he heard the front door open and then close, his parents having left once again. He continued to cry though, unable to help it, but through blurred vision he pulled out his phone and pressed dial on a number. “C-Come over, please, the door is unlocked,” Kei whispered, not bothering to hide the fact that he was crying.

There was a quiet “Tsukki?” but the line went dead after a few seconds of more muffled sobs and no verbal response. Lev was there less then thirty seconds later, running into the room and over to the bed. He was quick to lift the blankets and lie down beside Kei, pulling him into a hug and holding him close. The blond sniffled and curled up to him, finding comfort in the embrace. He could have called Kuroo, but he and Lev needed to talk about their family stuff anyway, stuff that he was too scared to admit to the third year, particularly when they hadn’t talked since their moment on Friday.

Besides, Lev was safe, his gentle and loveable best friend, and Lev would understand where he was coming from. That’s what Kei believed, anyway, though his thoughts were all scrambled and he was filled with too many emotions to make well thought decisions. 

He’d at least been right about Lev being safe, because he immediately felt calmer with the silver haired male close by him. It was a relief, knowing that he had someone that cared so much that they would rush to help him and comfort him. “Tsukki, it’s okay, I’m here now,” Lev assured, giving his friend a small smile and rubbing his back. “I’m right here and we’re going to get through it, so just breathe with me. It’s okay to cry, but we want you to calm down so we can talk, okay?”

Kei nodded a little and moved to bury his face in Lev’s chest instead of the pillows, letting out more sobs and tears as he struggled to steady his breathing. All the while, the taller teen was instructing him, telling him when to breathe in and out and letting him know that he was doing well. For someone so energetic, Lev definitely knew how to be patient when it counted. 

Even with the comfort, though, it was difficult for Kei to calm down. His heart ached and his mind was swarming with too many thoughts and fears and worries, things that he was unable to simply bury inside like he had so many times before. He’d started crying, started letting it all out, and now he couldn’t figure out how to stop. 

In the end, all they could do was wait it out until Tsukishima’s sobs died down into sniffles, and the tears dried up, leaving his eyes red and cheeks stained. And then, when the world seemed so horribly dull and empty, he told Lev everything. 

The walls and barriers that he’d built up had fallen, and it all spilled out without any way to stop it. 

He told Lev how he’d grown up alone, how his parents never gave him the love and attention he desperately longed for and how his brother and Tadashi were left to look after for him. He told Lev about them, about the amazing people they were, about the movie nights with Aki-nii, about the volleyball games with Yamaguchi and the nights they spent together. 

And then, he moved on to his plan for life. He told him how he’d dreamed of going to Karasuno, playing together with Yamaguchi, and then where he was going to go for college, and how he’d planned never to fall in love. Tsukishima explained how that had all turned to dust when he was moving to Nekoma, and about how he was scared that he wouldn’t fit in. He told him about meeting the team at Karasuno and how he’d wished he was there, how he was scared of not having a place on the team when Lev got good enough to play. He then went on to explain about his meltdown afterwards when he’d decided he wanted to stay at Nekoma even if he wasn’t playing, and that he wanted to be a part of the team. And about how over the past few weeks, because of him and Kuroo, Nekoma had become home to him during the day, yet Tokyo had felt so lonely at night when he was away from Yamaguchi and Akiteru, but he was afraid to open up about that loneliness.

“I was so scared to open up to you all, so scared that you would see me like this, see me so weak, and that you would laugh or push me to the side. I push people away because I don’t think I’m worth the attention, or the time, because my parents never spent time with me and my only friend was Tadashi, so I can’t help but feel like there’s nothing good about me. I’m scared of being pushed away, of loving people and giving them my all only to be treated like filth and lose it all. You all mean so much to me, and I want to have you all in my future, but then my parents came here this evening and everything is going to change.”

Kei looked up at Lev, eyes full of fear and worry, and seeming so small. It was so strange seeing him like this, seeing the emotions so raw and clear, and Lev couldn’t help but pull him close once more for a tight hug. “I’m here, Kei, and I’m not leaving. You’re my best friend, I promise that, and no matter what happens I’ll be here for you. You’ve been though so much, and I know we’ve not been friends for long but you’re like my brother. How could I ever push you away? Now, tell me what happened, because nothing could ever make me hate you.”

The blond bit his lip and looked down, having to take a few deep breaths before he could begin to speak. “My parents, they gave me a choice... stay here, or move to Karasuno. But I can’t keep on going to see Akiteru and Tadashi every weekend if I stay here, nor can I come and visit you guys every weekend if I go there, because the train tickets are expensive and they’re already paying for an apartment.”

Lev’s expression softened, yet there was a sadness in his green eyes as he cupped Kei’s cheek and tilted his head to look up at him. “Then there’s no choice, is there? I’m glad for you, I know they’ll look after you well for me even when you’re away. They’re your family, they’ve been there for you forever-”

“And no matter what, they’ll always be there for me, I know that. That’s why I chose to stay. They wanted me to decide, and I did. I chose to stay at Nekoma.” Kei’s eyes watered again as he looked up at his friend, and he gave him a sad smile. “I love hanging out with you and Kuroo and playing with the team, and I can’t just leave my other best friend to be all alone. I want to stay, I’ve known for a while that I wanted to stay, but it hurts knowing I won’t get to see them nearly as often as I’d like to, even though Aki-nii would probably drive for a thousand hours just to see me and he’ll probably bring Tadashi. I just, I don’t know how I can tell them, even if I know they’d support me. I don’t know how I would even start, because I can’t meet up with them in person like last time this happened.”

“Oh, Kei,” Lev sniffled, a few tears welling up in his own eyes, “you wonderful, terrific dumb-dumb. I love having you as my best friend, and I’m really glad you’re staying. I’ll help you, okay? We can call them up and you can explain, and I’ll be right by your side when you do, so don’t you worry about a thing. What about the team, and Kuroo? Do you want to tell them or not?”

He shrugged and moved to be hugging Lev tightly once more, sighing and biting his lip once again. “Thanks, Lev, I really appreciate,” he whispered, nuzzling him softly and closing his eyes. “I want to tell Kuroo when I’m ready, but I don’t think I can at the moment. Not when it’s all so fresh and new and I’ve only just started opening up to him, because I have so much baggage and when I unload it, it all happens at once. It’s either the whole story, or none at all, and it was draining enough telling you tonight.”

“That’s okay, then. Take as much time as you need, nobody is expecting you to open up straight away. Thank you for trusting me, though, for asking me to help you out. I’m glad that I can be there for you and that you won’t be going through all of this alone.” The silver haired male returned the hug and held him close, running his fingers through Tsukishima’s hair. “How about we have dinner, and then when you’ve eaten we can call your brother and Yamaguchi. Then you can get some rest, okay?”

“Mhm, thank you.” Kei relaxed a little more, finally feeling like he was able to breathe. It wasn’t going to be easy, but like Lev said, he wasn’t alone. 

x-X-x

Akiteru and Tadashi had naturally been a little upset, but as Kei had hoped they took it rather well. Things didn’t change from their usual routine of texting Kei in the morning and evening, calling if they had time. It was nice to know that he had both of them supporting him, even if it was hard for the three of them. 

The biggest help had been Lev, though, who had taken it upon himself to be there for Kei in their place. The two had only grown closer, and after they got around to Lev talking about his own struggles living alone, they ended up with a sort of routine where after showering and finishing up from volleyball they would eat dinner and spend the evening together. They both knew how to cook, and it was helpful for them to eat dinner together since it meant Tsukishima was beginning to eat a bit better.

He’d never had much of an appetite, but when he was having a difficult time with life he had a bad habit of eating less than usual, simply because he didn’t feel hungry. Especially as volleyball began to be a little more rigorous, including more fitness drills rather than just focusing on volleyball, he needed the extra energy and calories since he was exercising more than he had before. 

Even all the support he was receiving from them wasn’t enough for everything to go smooth sailing. The emotional struggles (which he’d kept between himself and Lev) paired in with trouble sleeping, extra school work to maintain his grades, and a drive to do well in the sport, caused him to begin overworking himself.

He was able to hide it from everyone aside from Lev (who knew since Tadashi had a habit of asking him how Kei was going, since he knew he would keep going even despite how taxing it was on his body). Yet, even Lev didn’t know the full extent of his overworking, since he wanted to keep that hidden. It was a futile thought, but his parents almost taken him away from his home. A part of him, the one that still longed for them to care about him, wanted to make them proud and for that he needed to be better than he already was. He didn’t care if it was detrimental, he knew it was, but he was still scared of losing Nekoma after he had almost lost it. 

Kei wasn’t going to tell anyone about this though, since just like before he was scared. It was ridiculous, and he knew it was, because Lev had been trying his best to help him and he knew for a fact that Kuroo wouldn’t hesitate to drop everything if he knew of the situation. He didn’t really have a logical reason why he was working himself like this, just many small things he wanted to achieve that compiled into one solution; work harder.

A little over a month had passed since that day, and during that time he’d continued to get closer to the team. He, along with Lev, had began to eat lunch up on the roof with the team, and the times where they were all hanging out Kei made sure not to let slip any signs that life was hard. It wasn’t completely a lie, since he was actually genuinely happy when he spent time with them, particularly with Kuroo.

His feelings had only grown as time went on and he began to learn more and more about the third year. As it turned out, he was a total nerd and was in the top class of his grade, taking advanced mathematics, physics and chemistry, and the couple of times Kei had asked him how to solve a particular equation at lunch the third year had happily explained it, and just as clearly as he had taught things to him in volleyball.

Kuroo Tetsurou was caring, he was thoughtful and looked out for Kei and the other people on the team, usually noticing if something was wrong and offering his help where he could. Kuroo was gentle and patient, and even when Kei asked for help he never judged him for it, taking time to make sure he understood whatever it was. He was handsome, and though he was clearly confident, Tsukishima knew that came from a strong sense of self worth and a positive mindset about the world. Tetsurou was so many things, and Kei found himself appreciating every part of him each day, thankful that such an amazing person would want to spend time with him.

It was a breath of fresh air, whenever they got to be alone, and it was one of the few times where he felt truly relaxed and at ease. Kuroo had that effect on him, he just felt comfortable around him, and perhaps that was one of the reasons why he didn’t want to share. He knew that if Tetsurou wanted him to stop, he wouldn’t say no. 

As well as that, even though Kei desperately wanted to let him in, to admit how hard things were, he didn’t want to make things difficult for the other when Kuroo had already helped him so much. He tried especially hard to hide it around him, and for the most part it seemed to be working. In recent days he’d been finding it harder and harder to keep up the walls he’d built, though, and the only reason he’d gotten away with it was through luck, unfinished conversations and the fact that there were lots of assessments at the moment, not just for him but for Kuroo as well.

In the end, Kei just didn’t want to let everyone down, not when he finally felt like he had a place he belonged. Even when it got to being on the court, he was beginning to fit in, working with Kenma on some spikes, feints and other things, working with Yaku on diving receives (something he’d never had the chance to learn before), and working with Takerora and Kuroo on blocking. In their three on three practise he did well and was receiving balls he would have missed or not been able to, and his blocks were improving too, but the biggest thing was his teamwork and communication. He would share his opinions on how to get around obstacles in a match, and if he was on their side of the court, Kai, Kenma, Inuoka and Taketora would let him time the blocks. It was a massive encouragement, but at the same time only made him feel like he needed to keep working at this level of intensity. He was working harder than most, and it showed in how he played with increasing skill and tactical thinking, but also at the end of the day when he walked home at a slower pace then the rest.

Today, though, it was a Friday, meaning he only had one last practice before he could go home and rest. Apparently it was a practice match against a school, Fukurodani, and two of Kuroo’s close friends went there. Kei hadn’t been able to focus very much at lunch when he was told about it, having not slept well the night before because of an assignment he had due that day that he wanted to perfect, and a test he had done in the morning he’d needed to study for. 

He was exhausted more than he usually was, and in the last couple of lessons following the lunch break he had began to feel like throwing up. He’d been a bit spacey at lunch, but otherwise he’d felt fine, so Lev hadn’t been worried and he’d gone to watch a movie and have dinner with his sister as soon as class finished, seeming as she didn’t often have time to see him because she did modelling and travelled a lot. They weren’t in the same classes, so the last time Kei saw his friend and the other people in the team was at lunch.

Kei didn’t really know how he was going to get through this afternoon, because Kuroo said that the coach had told him that morning that he would probably be playing. As much as he loved playing and he was glad that his hard work was being recognised, during the afternoon he’d really worsened, to the point where a couple of classmates had asked him if he was okay and the teacher had suggested he went to the infirmary. Kei was stubborn and didn’t want to let anyone down by not be able to play, so he’d put on a smile and assured them he was okay, pulled through to the end of the day. After grabbing his things, he headed out of the room and went to get ready even despite the painful throbbing in his head, the fact that he felt an odd combination of both hot and cold at the same time, and he felt lightheaded.

As he usually did before afternoon training, Kei had gone to the bathrooms to get changed rather than the club room. He did it when he could, but of course early in the morning and at night they were locked and he had no option. So far, nobody had questioned him about his habit, which was a relief since he didn’t know how he could explain if they did. Nobody else went there, so it was peaceful and it meant his headache wouldn’t be worsened by anyone else. The bathrooms were close enough to the gym as well, so it wouldn’t be too far to walk, nor mean descending too many stairs. 

It at least meant that when he ended up heaving into the toilet in one of the cubicles, nobody else was there to see him so weak. Even following that he wasn’t prepared to admit defeat and simply washed his face with the cold water, ignoring the fact that his skin was a more sickly pale and that his hands shook as he did so. The scent of vomit still lingered in the room, but there was no proof of what had happened otherwise. Kei had come this far, he had worked so hard to improve and to make both Kuroo and his teammates proud, but also deep down to prove to his parents that staying was the right choice. 

He just needed to take a moment to rest, and he would be fine, that was what he told himself. Yet, as he sat down on the floor, resting against the wall, he knew he probably wouldn’t be able to get up again. His body ached from the strain he’d been putting it under recently, and though he was shaking he felt unbelievably hot. He’d put on his Nekoma jacket when he’d gotten into his uniform since moments ago he’d been cold, but now it was making everything worse, making Tsukishima feel sticky and gross with sweat. 

He couldn’t bring himself to do anything, apart from move to be lying down on the tiles. He didn’t care how gross it was, they were cold and he needed to cool down, and his thoughts were clouded through the pain of his headache. 

Just as Kei had began to lose hope that anyone would find him, that he would be stuck there forever, he heard a pair of male voices, one boisterous and one softer one, and heard footsteps in the corridor. He tried to make a noise, to alert them that he was there, but nothing came out but soft whines. He just supposed that he was lucky, then, that moments later the door opened anyways, and two people stepped into the room.

Or more rather, two angels stepped into the room. 

One was one of the most beautiful guys Kei had ever laid eyes on, only second to Kuroo, but Kei was biased so perhaps it didn’t count. The other guy was his saving grace, immediately looking concerned and scooping the blond off the floor and into his arms. Though he looked rather owlish, with long knee pads and spiky black and white hair, he was strong and attractive in his own right.

Weakly, he grasped onto the guy’s jersey in an attempt to feel more stable as they began to leave the bathroom and headed somewhere else, but his head was spinning and he found it hard to keep his eyes open. The last thing Kei remembered hearing was something about getting him to the infirmary, and sending a message to Kuroo. “Tetsu...rou....” he managed to mumble, before his world faded to black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t even know what to say about this chapter oof-
> 
> Ngl I suffered from some pretty heavy writers block when I was coming up with this and I struggled to write, so I hope it wasn’t too crappy...
> 
> We finally introduced BokuAka tho, and we’ll see more of them in the coming chapters. Also, Tsukki is sick, has nobody at home to look after him, and Lev is busy . . . Join the dots and take a guess at what that means is coming next chapter
> 
> Anyways thanks for reading!


	9. Dreams

When Bokuto said he needed to go to the bathroom before their game, Akaashi was naturally the first person to offer to go with him. They were dating, after all, and even if they’d been to Nekoma plenty of times for practice matches and on a training camp last year, the setter wanted to make sure that his boyfriend got to the bathroom and didn’t get into any trouble. 

The rest of Fukurodani went ahead to the gym, where Nekoma would be waiting, unless they were still changing. Bokuto was rather excited to see Kuroo again (even if he saw him on the weekend) and play a good game of volleyball, but he was mostly interested to meet this blond that his friend had told them all so much about. He’d seen a few pictures of him off Tsukishima’s twitter and instagram — Kuroo having followed Kei the minute Lev let it slip that he had social media — and both he and Akaashi agreed that he was pretty.

Pictures didn’t account for real life though, and when it was all too obvious to both him and Akaashi that Kuroo was smitten, they were even more intrigued. 

They definitely weren’t expecting to be greeted with the putrid smell of vomit, and to find Tsukishima lying on the bathroom floor. The younger male was looking extremely unwell; feverish, a sickly pale, and like he was going to pass out. Bokuto didn’t hesitate to scoop him up so they could take him somewhere else, immediately felt the heat radiating from him when he did. “Keiji, we need to get him to the infirmary. It looks to me like he’s just sick, but he’s not good,” he said, making sure to keep his voice quieter than usual so as not to make it worse for the teen in his arms.

Akaashi sighed and nodded, holding the bathroom door open so that his boyfriend could exit. “Yeah, I’ll send a message to Kuroo-san while you take him. Do you remember where it is?”

“I think so, but I’m not exactly sure. Let’s just get him there and call Kuroo after,” Bokuto replied, glancing down at the blond for a moment as he began to walk. He heard him murmur out a name, one all too familiar, before he closed his eyes and didn’t open them again. The ace couldn’t help but smile a little, finding it sweet how the teen would call out for Kuroo when he was this unwell, using his first name no less. The other captain had been hopeful that his feelings were mutual, and Bokuto couldn’t help but think that just maybe they were. “He’s out now, Keiji,” he informed, looking back up as the setter lead them in the direction of the infirmary. They were moving at a steady pace, not too fast so that Tsukishima wouldn’t be uncomfortable, even if he was unconscious. 

It was only a few minutes later when they got to the infirmary, the nurse immediately letting them in and leading them to a room with a bed in it. She made sure to ask them about what had happened, before sending the two out of the room so she could look after Tsukishima. 

Bokuto let out a heavy sigh as they exited, sitting down and leaning against the wall. Akaashi sat down beside him, taking his hand in his and lacing their fingers. “I’m sure he’ll be alright, Kou, the nurse is taking care of him. I doubt he was there for very long since he was changed for the match already, so it’s not like he was left alone there for hours. But I’m sure Kuroo is worried, and he’d appreciate having you there to assure him that Tsukishima-san will be okay.” Keiji smiled softly at him, leaning over and giving his cheek a kiss. “You did a good job, so don’t feel like it was your fault. We really should let Kuroo know what’s going on, though.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Thank you, Keiji,” Bokuto said, squeezing his hand softly and using his other one to pull out his phone just as it began to ring. He accepted the call, putting it on speaker so that the setter could hear as well. “Hey, Kuroo, what’s up?”

“Bo, are you and Akaashi still at the bathroom? Tsukki’s not here yet and he’s not answering his phone, and I know he usually changes there if he can. He was a bit off at lunch today, but I figured he’d let me know if something was wrong. Have you seen him?” The voice on the other side of the line was frantic and clearly worried, and Koutarou felt guilty that he wasn’t able to assure his friend that nothing was wrong.

It was Keiji that spoke up, seeing the expression on his face and knowing Bokuto was at a loss for words. “Yes, Kuroo-san. We found him in the bathroom, and he wasn’t feeling well so we took him to the infirmary. The nurse is looking after him right now, we’re waiting outside. He’d probably like it if you came to see him before he goes home, based on the way he said your name. There’s no way he’s going to be playing any volleyball this afternoon, and the nurse asked us to see if any of you guys on the team knew someone that could take him home early, like if he has parents or siblings that can take him.”

“He said my name? Nevermind, we’ll talk about that later, give me a minute and I’ll be right there. I’ll take him home, so if the nurse asks tell her not to worry about calling anyone.”

x-X-x

When Kei woke up the first time, he found himself in a bed in the school’s infirmary. The dark haired angel that had walked into the bathroom was sitting on a chair beside him, carefully resting a cold cloth on his head. His head still pounded and he felt gross from sweating, but he was no longer in his jacket so it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. He still felt unbelievably exhausted, and his mouth had a sour taste from when he’d thrown up. All in all, with the exception of being in a more comfortable place, he didn’t feel better at all. He wanted to fall asleep again, but he didn’t know how he was going to get back or what would happen, especially when his brother was so far away and Lev was out somewhere.

As well as that, having a really pretty stranger caring for him didn’t really help, only making him feel jittery and nervous, but that was beside the point. 

His hand was warm, though, and after a moment he realised that it was because there was someone else’s holding his. That was the one thing that did make him feel a little less horrible, because when he looked to the other side of his bed to see who it was (and also to avoid looking at the pretty guy), he saw none other than his own angel, with his fluffy black bed hair and that caring smile.

Kei’s lips curled up into a weak smile, and he murmured a quiet ‘Tetsurou’ before closing his eyes. If Tetsurou was there, then it was all going to be alright.

x-X-x

The second time he woke, Kei was no longer in the infirmary but in the hallway, being carried bridal style in someone’s arms. He was shivering, but the cold wasn’t too bad because of a red Nekoma jacket that was too big and smelled too much like Kuroo to be his, and the warmth of whoever was carrying him. Even without looking up, just from a glimpse of the red jersey, he knew exactly who it was. He didn’t squirm around, but moved to be closer to Tetsurou, weakly nuzzling his chest and murmuring something incoherent. 

“Kei? It’s okay, I’ve got you, so just get some more rest.”

He was probably dreaming, because he doubted that Kuroo would ever say his first name, let alone with such tenderness. It would be nice if it were real, though, instead of some sort of fever dream. “Mhm, Tetsu...rou...” he murmured, nuzzling the other once more before closing his eyes and adding one last thing. “Please, don’t leave me...” 

“Never, Kei, I’ll be right here. I’ll never leave, I promise, I love you too much for that.” 

The last part was barely audible, and Tsukishima wasn’t sure he’d heard it right, especially when everything seemed jumbled in his brain. The only reason he’d heard anything at all was because he found comfortable in hearing Kuroo speak, and because he was close to the other male. Still, it was only a dream, so it didn’t matter what Kei thought he heard, because that’s what it probably was. It was what he longed to hear more than anything, after all. “I love you, Tetsu,” he whispered, tiredly snuggling up to him to try and stay as warm as he could, before drifting off once more.

x-X-x

The third time that Kei woke up, he was being laid down on a bed in a room that wasn’t his own. Kuroo was there with him, giving him a caring smile when he saw Kei looking up at him. The only light in the room was a lamp, and it must have had an older light bulb because the room was illuminated in a warm, golden light as opposed to a white one. It was nice, though, because the dimmer light wasn’t as painful on his eyes.

The dark haired male sat on the edge of the bed beside him, gently running his hand through Kei’s hair. “Sorry for waking you, but we’re home now. Nobody answered the door at your place, so we’re at mine,” Tetsurou explained softly, his voice just as tender as it had been before. 

“Sorry about that... I’m the only one that lives there,” the blond murmured, not glancing away and continuing to look up at the other male. Kuroo frowned at hearing the first part, furrowing his eyebrows, but he didn’t say anything. Kei frowned a little at seeing the expression still clearly half asleep and he not looking much better than before, but a fond smile made its way onto his lips. He moved one of his hands, resting it on Tetsurou’s and giving it a gentle squeeze. “I like it here with you, though.”

A soft blush had tinged both of their cheeks a soft red, and Kuroo couldn’t help but smile even if he wanted to ask about Kei living alone. “Is that so?” 

“Mhm. You’re warm,” Tsukishima said, weakly tugging on his arm to indicate he wanted him closer. Against his better judgement, Tetsurou did just that, and Kei leaned to whisper something in his ear. “I must have been dreaming, because I was rescued by two angels. But even if they were pretty, they weren’t you. You’re my angel, Tetsu.”

Tetsurou blushed a deep red, moving to be sitting up normally but staying seated next to Kei. His hand that had been running through the blond’s hair made its way to his cheek, his thumb brushing over the smooth skin. It was still very warm, the fever still present and not subsided. Kuroo shook his head, believing that this wasn’t real and was just as a result of the fever causing the other to think differently. He carefully removed his glasses, setting them on the bedside table and letting out a soft sigh. “And your angel thinks you need to rest, Kei. You’re still not well, and until my mothers get home and make dinner I can’t get you any food because I’m an absolute nightmare in the kitchen.”

Kei pouted, giggling a little at the last part (because the idea of Kuroo making a mess in the kitchen was adorable), but he yawned and nodded. “Okay, Tetsu, I’ll sleep,” he said quietly, shifting so he was a little more comfortable and closing his eyes. The bed was warm, and it smelt like Kuroo even more than the jacket had. They were still holding hands, and even though Kei was tired he fought against it when the other tried to let go, whining softly.

Tetsurou sighed once more, looking over the other male carefully to see if there was perhaps something wrong. “Do you need anything? Are you warm enough?” he asked gently, unable to simply let go of the hand and leave him to rest like he might have if it was someone else that was sick.

“I don’t want you to leave me, Tetsu.” Kuroo heard the fear in his voice and frowned, unsure of what would be the right thing to do. Yet, even as he debated, he knew he wouldn’t be able to say no. “Please, stay?”

“I’ll never leave you, Kei,” he replied, taking off his shoes and slipping under the covers. He didn’t lie down, instead sitting down with his back against the headboard, but Tsukishima didn’t seem to mind. He rested his head in Kuroo’s lap, snuggling up there and soon falling asleep again. 

The house was empty and silent aside from Kei’s and his breathing, and Tetsurou really didn’t know what the hell he was doing anymore. “I love you, god, I love you so much,” he whispered to the silence. 

Kei was right there with him, but Kuroo was hurting anyway. Kei was vulnerable at the moment, and he was only there and so affectionate with him because he was sick. He was sick because he’d been overworking himself, according to the nurse, and he probably hadn’t been getting enough sleep either. Tetsurou knew that Kei was a lot more tired recently, and he’d been a bit worried, but he never thought that it was this bad.

Kuroo was no angel, how could he be when he was so blind? How could he have missed the signs, how could he not have seen that Kei was going through so much alone? How could he have not realised that he lived alone, even after he had told Kuroo how lonely he was on that night outside the club room. 

Tetsurou didn’t deserve him, not when he wasn’t even able to help him through any of that. He wanted to deserve him, though, and he wanted to love him and make all of the loneliness and the hurt go away. ‘I like it here with you, though’, that had been what Kei told him. Kei had called him an angel, Kei had said he loved him, and a selfish part of him didn’t want that to end. 

x-X-x

Kuroo was the one that woke him the next time, gently calling his name until he stirred and opened his eyes. “Kei, firefly, I’m sorry to disturb you. Dinner is ready for you, okay?”

Tsukishima shook his head and whined, not bothering to hide the small blush that made its way onto his cheeks at the nickname. “I’m not hungry,” he murmured, looking up at Tetsurou with tired eyes and pulling the blankets tighter around himself. “I’d make a mess, anyways, so unless you’re going to feed me...”

It was the other male’s turn to blush, but he smiled and after putting down a bowl and spoon on the bedside table he sat down on the bed like he had been before. “That can be arranged quite easily, love. As long as you’re getting some food, that’s all that matters,” he said, taking the wet cloth that he’d placed on Kei’s forehead earlier and wiping the blond’s face. Gently, he scooped Kei onto his lap, the younger not resisting and curling up with his head rested on Kuroo’s chest. 

“Are you really sure that this is okay?” Kei asked softly, nuzzling him and relaxing. It was nice to be this close, and though his head still ached a little it wasn’t nearly as bad as it had been, and the food would probably help get rid of the bad taste left in his mouth. 

Even as he asked, he didn’t have a problem with it.

Still, Tetsurou answered him anyway, kissing his hair and carefully picking up the bowl. “Of course it’s okay. I love you, just like I said before, and I want you to get better. I’ll help you as much as you need, and I’d rather look after you than you get sick again.”

Kei smiled a little and nodded. “Okay then. I love you too, Tetsu,” he said, nuzzling him once more before gladly letting Kuroo feed him some of the soup. 

x-X-x

The fifth time that Kei woke, his fever had broken. He had a cold cloth on his head, and he was once again covered in sweat, and he felt a little too warm. The room was dark, and as he looked over to the bedside table he saw the red numbers on the alarm clock that definitely wasn’t his. His own alarm clock had green numbers, after all, and he spent too many nights looking at those numbers to be mistaken about that fact.

He felt a lot better than he had before though, his headache gone and the nauseous feeling gone too. Now he just felt drowsy and gross from the sweat, and he desperately wanted a shower.

Yawning softly, he went to sit up and get out of bed, only to find that someone was sitting on a chair had their head rested on the bed. Even in the dark and without his glasses on he could tell that it was Kuroo, because there was nobody else that it could be. He didn’t remember much from after seeing the two guys from the other team, all of his memories a jumbled and blurred mess. He remembered being carried places, being fed warm soup, and Kuroo’s voice, and some other things as well that couldn’t possibly have been true. For example, when he’d been woken up to eat, Kuroo had helped him sit up, letting him sit on his lap with his head rested on the older male’s chest while he was fed. He hadn’t wanted to eat much, but Tetsurou had convinced him to do so, calling him sweet pet names like ‘love’ and ‘firefly’, and kissed his cheek when he was done. As much as Kei wanted to believe that it could have been real, he didn’t think that it was possible that Tetsurou loved him, let alone do all that. All he knew for certain was that Kuroo was there and he’d taken good care of Kei; everything else he couldn’t tell whether it was a dream or reality.

“Kei? Are you awake?”

A quiet voice broke the silence, and Tsukishima had to keep himself from jumping when he heard his first name. It sounded just as perfect as he’d hoped it would uttered from Kuroo, so familiar, and it caused him to question once more how much of what he’d been through really was a dream. 

“Yeah, Tetsu,” he whispered, unable to stop himself. It was only fair that he could call him by his fist name as well, right? “I’m awake, and so are you. Why aren’t you in bed?”

From where he was sitting, he could see that Kuroo had sat up. He took a few moments to speak, sounding tired yet worried at the same time when he did so. “I was in the middle of dealing with your fever when I got tired, and I didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable,” he admitted, yawning and then scratching the back of his neck. 

Kei’s heart beat faster, and he was more than glad for the darkness because it hid how darkly he was blushing. It wasn’t fair, Kuroo didn’t get to be this sweet and amazing to him, not after Tsukishima had hid so much from him. But at the same time, Kei was young and in love, and he couldn’t help wanting to be close and to enjoy every moment he had with him. 

He felt warm and gross, but at the moment he couldn’t care, simply pulling off the red Nekoma jersey and chucking it on the floor. It was much cooler that way, and he immediately felt a lot more comfortable. He reached over to grab Kuroo’s hand — instead finding his arm, not that it mattered either way. He tugged on it softly before letting go, moving over so he was close to the wall and continuing to look over. “I’m afraid it’s a little gross, but if you don’t mind that, it’ll be a lot more comfortable than the chair. Stay here with me, please?”

Kei waited for an answer for a moment, and during that time he was terrified he’d messed everything up. Even if all of those other moments were a dream, even if Kuroo didn’t actually love him, he wanted to pretend for one night that he did. 

They both wanted to pretend, even if they didn’t need to, and so Tetsurou slipped under the covers. Hesitantly, they threw caution to the wind, wrapping their arms around each other, leaning in closer. In the dark, in the silence and the warmth of each other’s arms, their lips brushed against each other. Once, light as a feather. Twice, soft and slow. Three times, gentle and full of love.

Kei lost track after that, his mind full of Tetsurou. “Is this real?” he whispered against Kuroo’s lips, a smile on his own as he reached up to cup the other’s cheeks.

“Only if you want it to be,” Kuroo whispered, leaning in for another kiss just as the world burst into light.

x-X-x

“Tetsurou, I-”

The sixth time Kei woke up, he immediately recognised the room as Lev’s. The room was light, the morning sunlight flooding in, and the silver haired male was sitting beside him on his phone.

When he saw Kei was up, he tackled him into a hug. “Oh, you idiot,” Lev whispered, not pulling away. “Did you have to worry me like that? I get out of the movie and check my phone since it was on silent, and what do I see but a million texts from Kuroo and the rest of the team about how you weren’t well! Thank goodness that he was there to help you and get you fed by the time Alisa drove us back...”

Tsukishima’s heart sunk, and he was no longer able to focus on what Lev had to say. He’d always had more realistic dreams when he was sick, but this was on a whole new level. He didn’t know what to believe, he didn’t know what had been real and what hadn’t, and he was terrified of what would happened if he asked Kuroo about it. Especially the last one, it had all seemed so vivid, so real.

The taller teen frowned and stopped speaking, eyes widening when Kei didn’t even seem to notice, the blond instead looking up at him with confusion, hurt and fear. “Tetsu? Where’s Tetsu?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry, but this had to be done- I couldn’t give you two very angsty chapters in a row since the next one’ll probably be a bit more on the angsty side and this was the perfect way to make it more angsty...
> 
> Anyways, thanks for reading, and I hope you all enjoyed this chapter anyways! I’d love it if you’d let me know how you liked it!
> 
> A side note: if you ever want to talk, my insta is @charlie.kttk. I never post on it tho so...


	10. Nightmares and Dinner Parties

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so trigger warning for later in the chapter: homophobia and like there’s a punch thrown

“Wait, tell me one more time what happened,” Lev said, sitting across from a Tsukishima and bouncing excitedly from where he was. “Because that last one definitely didn’t happen, and that sucks big time because that was really cute, but there’s definitely a chance that the other ones were real. When I went to get you last night there were two guys in Kuroo’s house that matched the description of the angels you saw, and I agree that they were hot, and they seemed worried, but the spiky haired one kept on teasing Kuroo... and when he came out of his room, Kuroo was blushing a lot which is kind of rare for him... when it comes to anyone aside from you, apparently.”

Kei blushed a little more and shook his head, not meeting the gaze of his friend. As usual, Lev had managed to get him to spill exactly what had happened and talked it through with him, which in of itself was helpful because the blond needed to explain it for him to understand and it meant he could think things through as he did that. “I’m not telling you again, you heard me quite well the first time, and the second. Besides, even if it was real, how am I meant to even face him? You said Kuroo asked about me living alone, right? And if I did tell him I love him, which I do, and he said it back and meant it, I feel like he deserves to know about everything. I just don’t know where to start, Lev, because I should have told him much earlier, I wanted to tell him much earlier, but I was too scared to and I didn’t let him in. I ignored all the times you tried to help me, all the times he asked if I was okay and I said it was just school work, and look where it’s left me! I’m a horrible person,” he whispered, looking down at his hands. Kei didn’t know how, but he always did this, somehow managing to turn good things into bad, fun conversations into sad ones, and he hated it. It was one of the things he was insecure about, that he would do that one too many times and people would be annoyed at him and leave him. 

Haiba Lev was not one of those people, though, and there was no way he was ever going to just ditch his best friend. “Oh, Kei, you aren’t a horrible person. Yeah, I’ll admit that it hurt that you didn’t say how bad you were feeling, but I can understand that you weren’t trying to do it to hurt me or Kuroo. Like you said earlier, you chose to stay, and you wanted to prove to your parents, to the team, and to yourself that it was worth doing so. It was a shitty thing they made you do, choosing between us and your family, but I’m still glad that you stayed. Even if this happened and you basically self destructed, who’s to say it wouldn’t have happened if you were there? It was going to be hard either way, but you chose to stay here and to keep on growing as a person. I know Kuroo, maybe not as well as you, but he’s my captain too and he’s shown the type of person he is in the way he leads the team. 

If anyone makes a mistake, he’ll help us understand where we went wrong, show us how to improve, and congratulate us when we get it down. He’s not going to blame you for not opening up, but more likely blame himself for not being able to help you sooner. It’s not too late to tell him, and he’d be more than happy to listen,” Lev said gently, taking Kei’s hands and holding them in his own. “Especially because he cares about you so, so much. He’ll be there to listen, even if you can’t find the right words and the whole thing is a mess, and I know that because he asked me to tell you that.”

Tsukishima, not for the first time, felt tears well up in his eyes. He couldn’t help but get emotional recently, but in a way he didn’t mind. It was nice to have someone there to comfort him, that he could be completely open around and not feel like he was judged no matter what he had to say. Lev really was the best friend that he could have asked for, that much was for certain. 

“I know he will, but I don’t know how I’m even going to do this! How can I face him, especially if those things that happened were real? And even if I wanted to, my parents are going to be coming for me soon, because there’s this stupid business dinner in Sendai that they want me to attend, and since I already agreed they won’t take no for an answer. There’s no time for it, not now, and especially because it’s bound to get me emotional and there’s no way I’m letting my parents see me cry. I have to wait until after I get back, which won’t be until tomorrow at least. I want to tell him, but I’m scared that I’ll get back and I’ll be too afraid to do that.” He let out a heavy sigh, sniffling a bit as Lev pulled him into a hug and wiped away his tears. Why was it that when everything had a chance to go right, something happened to make it all fall apart?

“It’s all going to be okay, Kei, I promise you,” the silver haired teen whispered, rubbing his back and gently rocking him. “Even if you can’t tell him now, I know you’ll be able to do it tomorrow or whenever you get the chance. If you want me to, I’ll be right there by your side when you do it. I know it’s hard, but it’ll all turn out fine in the end.”

Tsukishima sniffled again and looked at him, one of his hands clinging to the front of Lev’s shirt. “How can you be so certain? How can you know that it won’t just end up badly like everything else has?” 

“Because you and Kuroo both care about each other very much, and I know you’ll help each other through anything that comes your way. I know I teased you about it a bit, but I’m pretty sure that most of the stuff that happened yesterday wasn’t a dream. Do you remember how he looked at you? How he said your name? How he cared for you? He’s a genuinely good guy, and he wants to take care of you and help you, both when you’re down but also when you’re happy. I know you won’t truly believe it until you hear it from his mouth, but he has all the love in the world to give you and I know you would give him that as well.”

Lev gave Tsukishima a warm smile and gently ruffled his hair, humming a little bit as he watched the blond’s lips curl up into a small smile. “Thank you, Lev. You’re really the best friend in the whole world, you know? I don’t know where I’d be without you,” he murmured, closing his eyes and curling close to the taller male.

Lev chuckled softly, gladly returning the hug. “You’d be short. Short one very tall best friend, I mean,” he joked, grinning as he poked Kei’s cheek. Kei couldn’t help but let out a soft laugh of his own, rolling his eyes playfully.

“You’re ridiculous, you know that?”

“Yeah, but you and Yaku love me anyways so I think that I’m doing fine, don’t you?” Lev replied, giving Kei a soft smile as he pulled away from the hug.

Tsukishima nodded, wearing a fond smile as he looked to his best friend. “Mhm, you’re doing wonderfully, Lev. Just keep on going as you are and I’m sure you’ll get to go on a date-date with Yaku soon, not just a friend-date. You’ve got a good heart in you,” he said gently, a thankful look in his eyes. 

“You do too, Kei, you do too,” Lev said, patting his shoulder and returning the smile with a kind one of his own. Kei was still nervous about everything that was going on, but it made a big difference that he was able to talk to Lev about what was going on. As much as he loved Yamaguchi and Akiteru, he was really glad that he had another best friend — and dare he say, brother — in Lev. 

x-X-x

By the time they had eaten breakfast, and Kei had gone to his own apartment and showered, they only had another fifteen minutes before his parents showed up at his door. Even as they lead him to the car, he knew that it was going to be a very long day ahead of him, because he was already tired. All he wanted to do was sleep, since he was still exhausted from the day before and the emotional stuff he was going through, and so when given the choice to get there by car or train he didn’t hesitate to pick the car ride. It was significantly longer than the three hour train ride, by about four or five hours, but he needed the sleep. 

And so, as his parents got to the venue ahead of time to ensure preparations would be complete for their guests (potential business partners and sponsors), Kei was driven down. He sat in the back of the car in a Nekoma jacket that was a little too big for him and smelt much nicer than his usually did, eye mask and headphones on, and he slept. 

(It wasn’t until after he’d gotten down there and began to get changed that he saw ‘Kuroo Tetsurou’ written on the tag, and blushed profusely.)

His parents had really gone all out to impress people that night, and so had insisted he wear a suit and tie for the occasion that they had picked out. It wasn’t his sort of thing — he would much rather be back in Kuroo’s jacket — but he did have to admit that he looked rather good. A part of him wondered what his crush would think if he saw him all dressed up like this, if they went on a date like this, but he was quick to push those thoughts from his mind. 

Aside from the stupid dinner party that he probably wasn’t well enough to attend, all he could think about was Tetsurou and the dreams (memories?) from the day before. He wished so badly that he knew what was real and what wasn’t, that he could talk to Kuroo and know and that just maybe they could share something more real and beautiful than Kei had ever imagined was possible for him.

By the time he walked into the hall full of people it was about quarter past seven. He always disliked these sorts of things, with all the rich people dressed up and talking about meaningless things and trying desperately to show off to other people. They were all so fake, and he’d probably feel more alone in this crowd if he wasn’t so disgusted by the lot of them. Fortunately, this seemed to be one of the few nights where he was actually blessed with decent company (if that’s what you wanted to call it).

A few minutes after he entered, he made his way outside onto the balcony, and was greeted with a couple of familiar faces. Standing over in the corner and laughing was none other than the two angels that had rescued him the day before, holding hands, along with a brown haired teenager who was extremely attractive and somewhat familiar looking. It was barely a moment until the owl-like angel noticed him, his expression turning from one of confusion into a grin as he waved. The pretty angel beside him looked over, those ocean eyes meeting Kei’s, and he smiled before gesturing for him to come over.

Tsukishima blushed a little but did so, a little hesitant and unsure how to act around them. These were two of Kuroo’s friends, very attractive ones at that, and they had seen him in one of his most vulnerable states the day before. Along with that, the other guy standing with them was even prettier up close, and the three of them were all in suits. If this was how he was like around them, he was almost afraid of how he would react seeing Tetsurou in a suit, beautiful, fluffy bed hair and all.

“Hey, Hey, Hey! Look who it is, Keiji! Look, it’s Tsukki! He’s here!” the spiky haired angel said, features lit up with an incomprehensible joy as he moved his hand from holding the pretty angel’s to greet Kei with a hug. It was kind of nice if he was honest, that someone he didn’t really know would get so excited to see him, and he awkwardly hugged back before pulling away. Perhaps he was lucky that the pretty angel was there, because said male moved to wrap his arm around the owlish guy who didn’t hesitate to return the gesture. “I’m glad to see you looking much better, but what are you doing here? You should still be resting after the state you were in yesterday! Why aren’t you with Kuroo or that half-Russian guy?”

“Kou, I get that you’re excited, but you’re overwhelming him. I’m sorry about my boyfriend, he can get a bit too enthusiastic when it comes to meeting new people, especially when we’ve heard so much about you. I don’t believe we’ve been formally introduced; I’m Akaashi Keiji, and this is Bokuto Koutarou,” the pretty angel — Akaashi — said, holding out a hand to shake. “But he’s right, you shouldn’t be out so far away after being so unwell. How come you’re here?”

Kei just blinked, still kind of in shock about everything, and shrugged. “Well, apparently you two already know this, but for you,” he said, looking to the brown haired guy, “my name is Tsukishima Kei. My parents are the ones that organised this stupid thing, and I agreed to come a month and a half ago. Even if I’d tried to tell them I wasn’t well, since I’m mostly better now they’d make me come anyways. Apparently it was really important that I come along, so there’s not much I could do. Thank you two for all your help yesterday, by the way, I appreciate it a lot.”

“Oh, I’m Oikawa Tooru. I would have thought you’d have heard of me, considering what’s going to be happening,” the brown haired guy said, giving him a smile and offering his hand to shake. Tsukishima raised an eyebrow at that, having not heard about anything happening that he should know about, but shook the hand anyways. 

He then turned his focus to the couple standing beside him, giving them a small smile as Akaashi began to speak. “It was no problem, we were glad we could help you out, and Kuroo as well. He was really worried about you, so much so that he’d phoned us before we could do just that to let him know you were in the infirmary. I’m not sure if you’d remember since you seemed pretty out of it, but you were pretty clingy to him as well.”

“Yeah, and Kuroo said you called us angels!”

Kei blushed and looked down, pushing his index fingers together nervously. “Well, I do remember some of it, including the mild gay panic that I had when you two walked in, but as for everything else I don’t really know if it was a dream or not...”

“Well, I can assure you that you most definitely called Kuroo by his first name a lot, and that you told him you loved him multiple times, and that your ‘Tetsu’ said he loved you back. If only you’d been awake to see how flustered he got, I bet you would have loved it!” Bokuto told him happily, using his free hand to pat Kei’s shoulder, but surprisingly not as roughly as he would have expected considering the tight hug he’d gotten earlier. “That’s why I’m most surprised to see you here, because I would have thought that you’d be with him, especially if you don’t remember everything.”

If he was blushing before, Kei’s cheeks and ears were now a brilliant shade of red, and his mind went into overdrive as he comprehended everything that Bokuto had said. It was a relief to know that his feelings weren’t unrequited and that maybe some of his memories weren’t just dreams, it made him really happy, actually. But at the same time, it meant that he and Tetsurou would have a lot to catch up on when they got back, especially when two of his best friends knew about some of Kei’s personal life.

It was Oikawa that broke him from his thoughts, the teen placing his hand on Kei’s arm. “As cute as this is, and as much as I would very much like to hear all of the tea, let me get this right. You like guys and you basically have a boyfriend, or at least are in love this ‘Kuroo’?”

“I mean, I’m surrounded by some of the most attractive guys I’ve ever seen, but I still wish I was back with Tet- Kuroo. I’m really fucking gay, Oikawa-san,” he deadpanned, before tilting his head and once again raising an eyebrow. “And yes, I’m in love with Kuroo, and the story is a whole lot more confusing than I’d like it to be. Why, is something wrong? This wouldn’t happen to do with this ‘thing’ that is going to happen that I should know about, right?”

Oikawa paled slightly, not that it was very visible in the dimmer lighting outside, and he nodded. “Well, as much as I totally relate to the first part, obviously your parents haven’t been honest with you. We might have an issue on our hands,” he replied, voice a little quieter and more worried. 

Just as Tsukishima was about to ask what it was that the older teen meant by that, a group of six people walked outside; five adults — two being Kei’s parents — and a girl who looked just like Oikawa walked outside. His parents were talking to two of the other adults, while the last man walked over to Bokuto and Akaashi with a warm smile. 

Kei looked between Oikawa Tooru, his parents, and the girl, and he felt a sinking feeling in his chest. 

“Oh, Kei, so this is where you were! It’s lovely to see you’ve met Tooru-kun already,” his mother said with a smile, her brown eyes gleaming with pure joy and excitement, aside from when she’d glanced over and saw how close Bokuto and Akaashi were. Even his father looked at the girl with a pleased look, a fatherly smile on his face that Kei had never once seen directed at him. “This is Oikawa Aiko, isn’t she simply beautiful?” his mother continued, seeming to be looking for an answer. 

“I suppose,” he replied stiffly, hoping desperately that this wasn’t what he thought it was going to be. The girl was easily beautiful, with a nice smile and a developing yet splendid figure, and there was this look in her eyes that Kei knew all too well, having seen it in his fathers. This girl was manipulative and cold behind the exterior, unlike Tooru who had actually seemed friendly when Kei met him. 

Surely, this wasn’t happening. His parents weren’t the best, but they at least took what he wanted into consideration, right?

But even Kei himself didn’t believe that, so it came as no surprise when his father spoke next, the two other adults that were probably Oikawa’s parents looking on happily. “That’s good, Kei. Yuki and Daisuke here have been talking with us for a few months now, and now that you’re getting to be almost sixteen and Aiko-chan is fourteen, and our companies are both thriving, well, we thought it would be in our best interests if-”

His mother interrupted, clearly sick of the long time that his father was taking to get the the point, and the words he didn’t want to hear came out of her mouth. “Aiko-chan and you will be getting married! Not now, of course, when you’ve both turned eighteen, but that’s only a few years away now. Isn’t it wonderful!”

Now this was the final straw. For years, Kei had done everything he could to make his parents proud. For years, he had worked hard and done anything he could to please them, in the hopes that his mother would love him and his father would give him the time of day. He knew he should have seen it sooner, he should have realised it was futile, but deep inside he wanted that parental love and he wasn’t willing to admit that his parents weren’t ever going to change or provide it. All they cared about was appearances, and keeping him just happy enough to continue to comply with their demands.

This was the one thing that he wouldn’t just sit back and take. They had decided almost everything in his life for him, but not this. Not when he had Tetsurou back home in Tokyo, who Bokuto had said loved him. 

Tsukishima Kei was sick of being a part of this family, and so he did the one thing he knew he could do to get out of it, even if he knew there would be horrible consequences as a result. Well, he was banking on their being horrible consequences, hoping for once to take advantage of his parents high standards, hoping that they were really the horrible people he thought they were. If this was enough to make them hate him, then they weren’t worth the time of day. None of that mattered to him anymore, what they thought or how they felt about him, not when he knew for a fact that he had so many people who would help him out. Lev had been the one to really teach him that, and for that he was eternally grateful.

“No.” Kei stood there, his head held high as he looked into his father’s eyes and defied him. “No, this is very much not wonderful. No, I will not be marrying Aiko.”

“And why won’t you be doing that, Kei? It’s not your choice, it’s ours. You’re our son, and you’re not even sixteen yet. You don’t get to make the decisions around here. You’ll thank us later for it, you ungrateful brat,” his father growled, taking a step forward. Ah, and just as Kei had hoped, the true colours came out, though the threatening nature of the man’s posture was gaining the attention of the man that seemed to be Akaashi’s own father. It hadn’t even taken that much to do it, and though it ached knowing his father felt so little of him, at the same time he was glad for it.

Kei wasn’t afraid, because the fear of losing Kuroo and Lev and his family at Nekoma was so much worse than his father. If he couldn’t overcome this, how was he supposed to move forward? As much as it would hurt, this change was necessary, because his parents didn’t care and he didn’t need them in his life. “I will not be marrying Aiko, because I’m gay, and I’m in love with a guy already. I’m spoken for, and I’m not going to let you get in the way of that.”

Kei watched his father closely, watched as something that had been building for so long finally snapped and the anger his father kept locked up was unleashed. He knew it was coming, yet he was still unable to stop it. Before he could register it, Kei was stumbling back and into Bokuto’s arms before he could fall, tears welling in his eyes as he cupped his cheek and looked up.

Maybe it was time to move on, maybe he was over his parents, but he had spent so long trying to please them and love them that the looks of hatred and disgust they sent his way stung his already troubled heart. It was the way his mother looked that hurt the most, since she had never been as open about her opinion of him, unlike his father had. “Oh, so you’re a filthy fag too, huh? Just like those two?” she said, pointing to Bokuto and Akaashi and then looking back to Kei. “Well then, I guess you’re right. You won’t be marrying Aiko-chan, because you’re no son of mine. We all knew that you were a mistake from the beginning, but at least you were more useful then that brother of yours. But you’re also no longer a part of this family, not that you ever were in the first place,” she sneered, his father and Oikawa’s parents nodding in agreement. 

“I can’t believe I almost let our sweet Aiko-chan be tainted by one of those freaks!” 

“And I can’t believe that you guys would treat your own children like this!” Bokuto yelled, Akaashi helping Kei steady himself and pulling him into a gentle hug as his boyfriend stepped forward, clearly seething. Perhaps Kei didn’t know this, but Akaashi certainly did; Bokuto getting angry was a very rare thing, and there wasn’t many things that pushed him to it. Seeing this to happen to someone he cared about (because if Kuroo thought he was important, so did Bokuto) made him very angry, especially when his own parents had treated him the same way. “He’s done absolutely nothing wrong, done nothing to deserve that treatment. How could you be so cruel to him?” 

Tsukishima’s father growled and shook his head. “You wouldn’t understand, boy. You’re as terrible as he is. But he, he was never meant to have existed in the first place. He was really a mistake, and he always has been!” he yelled, before lunging forward at Bokuto as well.

The punch never landed.

Akaashi’s father shook his head, sighing as he held the man’s wrist tightly and prevented him from attacking. “I’m afraid the deal is off, Tsukishima-san. I refuse to work with anyone who treats their children like this, and don’t even bother trying to grovel and make it up to him or to me just to get my cooperation because it won’t work. You’ve made your choice, and there’s no going back now, because not only did you insult your own son, but you insulted mine and were about to attack my future son-in-law.”

There was a moment of silence, of shock, and then realisation of the implications of what had happened. The look Kei’s ‘father’ wore as he glared over at him was cruel, full of anger, but also hopelessness. “How could you do this to me! This was going to mean so much to my company, and you ruined it. You ruined everything in my life, and now this too?”

Kei didn’t have the heart to reply, instead allowing himself to be lead away by Keiji and Koutarou, Tooru following behind them. “And where do you think you’re going, young man?” Kei heard Oikawa’s father ask, a defensive tone to his voice as he watched his son head in the direction of the ‘disgusting and horrible people’.

“I’m going to be eighteen in a few months, I’m no longer a young man. I was going to tell you later, but right now I don’t think I can stay silent. I’m bisexual, I’m dating a guy, and there’s nothing you can do to stop me.”

With that, Tooru stalked off with them, leaving the other group dumbfounded and angry. There was nothing that they could do, except try to take away what they had given their ‘children’ that they no longer considered children.

But even then, there was nothing they could do, because Akaashi’s father was a very influential man with a lot of money, and he did not stand for homophobia. He wasn’t going to let these two children suffer any more than they already had, and just like he’d accepted Koutarou into his family he’d readily accept them too. Oikawa Tooru had known Keiji for years, and he’d heard a lot about this Tsukishima Kei from when Kou and Keiji had their friend Tetsurou over. 

As he walked away, cradling his sore cheek that he was sure had already began to bruise, Kei only knew one thing for certain. He was no longer Tsukishima Kei, he was just Kei. 

He was just Kei, crying with Oikawa in the back of the limousine as Keiji and Koutarou comforted him and assured him that he was perfectly fine the way he was. He was just Kei, who was so, so loved by Kuroo, and Lev, and Tadashi and Akiteru, but never his parents. He wasn’t even good enough for the two people that were supposed to love him unconditionally, to the point that he’d been able to use their hatred to avoid being forced into marriage.

Even as they stopped past the hotel room to grab Kei’s clothes (but more importantly, Kuroo’s jacket), even as he traded his suit jacket for the warmth and safety of the red fabric, he couldn’t help but wonder how on earth he was going to get through all of this. He was just so, so tired and exhausted after everything that he’d been through, and so he slept. Even as Tooru was dropped at his boyfriend Hajime’s house, even as they swapped from the limo to a different car and he was rested in the back he didn’t stir. He just slept, since it was the only thing he could do at the moment to deal with the emptiness inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... how do you like the angsty angst?  
> I mean, we got more BokuAka and Oikawa which is a plus but like Tsukki’s parents are shitty so-
> 
> Anyways thanks for reading and for all the comments and all the kudos and stuff!


	11. Picking up the pieces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW - there's some self hatred in this chapter, it's angsty- It’s also a very long chapter

By the time they had driven back to Tokyo, it was the early hours of the morning and they were all exhausted. Kei had been fast asleep for a good while now, snuggled up in Kuroo's jacket with his head rested on Koutarou's shoulder, who was also sleeping. Keiji was still awake in the front seat beside his father, Akaashi Kenichi, the pair chatting quietly about what they would do. 

While they had originally planned to stay in Sendai overnight after the event, with all things considered it was probably a better idea to get back to Tokyo and get Kei comfortable. It was worrying to see him the way he was, and taking public transportation back in the morning wasn’t the best idea either, because Kenichi didn’t know how he would be feeling and a breakdown in public wouldn’t help anyone. If they went back in the morning, it would be a while before they returned and that wasn’t the best thing either, because it meant hours trapped in a car around strangers. At least if it was at night, it wasn’t so bad for Kei since he slept through the whole thing.

Seeming as Keiji didn’t want to disturb Kuroo when he didn’t even know if Kei would want to see him, he wasn’t sure where they should go. In the end, they decided to just go back to the Akaashi home for the night, since it was much closer than the apartment anyway and meant they could all get some rest. It was a medium sized house with three bedrooms, so they could all have a bed to sleep in. Kenichi and his husband Hiroki were rich and both were successful in their jobs, but they didn't like the extravagant lifestyle many other people in their world did. They had their family home, where the couple lived along with Keiji and Koutarou, and they were happy there. Sure, the two men were often busy with work, but they prioritised their family and always made sure to spend time with the two on the weekends. 

Bokuto had been living with them for a year now, having had abusive parents who kicked him out for his sexuality (but had ended up in jail for what they had done, Kenichi made sure of it), and the teen had brought much joy to their family during that time. They only had one son, and so having another in the house to spoil and love was great. 

Koutarou had needed a lot of healing, a lot of support, and the Akaashi’s had been just the people to do it. Bokuto was his grandmother’s last name, he had taken it after his parents were put into jail since he’d preferred it than his old last name. He didn’t want to remember his parents when they treated him so badly, and his grandmother had always been kind and loving to him when she was alive. It took him a bit of time, but slowly he had grown to be genuinely happy with life again, and when he reached that point he was a bright point for the family of three. Hiroki and Kenichi adored him, as much as they did Keiji, and they made a point to treat him like a second son. Kenichi and him even developed a special father-son bond where every second Sunday they would have some time to watch a movie or play a board game or just talk, and it was obvious how much Koutarou enjoyed that.

For Keiji, it had meant life was much happier since he got to spend lots more time with his boyfriend, but he also knew that Koutarou was safe and living in a good environment and he could see the way it improved him. Even when playing, he spiked better and was much happier overall, especially when they had their first game and both Hiroki and Kenichi had shown up. He’d played the best game Keiji had seen him play, and even though it was only a practice game, he was giving it his all and performing. Life had improved for all of them in the last year, so this was probably the most notable negative event they’d been involved in for a while.

Everything that had happened the night before had sparked something inside of Kenichi though, and seeing the way that Kei had looked at his parents and the way they looked at him, he knew he wanted to help. He knew that Tooru, the other boy, had a place to stay with his boyfriend and their family and that he would be okay, but he didn't know about Kei. Akaashi had mentioned something about Kuroo saying the teen was living alone, but he wasn't certain if he had any friends that he could live with or what the situation was until he found out more. 

They would just have to wait until the next day to find out, and for that it would probably mean taking him to see Tetsurou because the blond didn't look like he was dealing with it very well. It was understandable, considering the horrible things they’d said and the way he’d looked upset but not necessarily surprised, like he’d been expecting their reaction. It was really cruel to think that someone who was only a teenager expected that his own parents would hate him, and that they had indeed done just that. Even as Kenichi scooped him up and carried him to the guest bedroom, he could Kei was quite light for someone so tall and frowned, wondering just what he'd been through before this point. 

x-X-x

When Kei woke up in the morning, he was in an unfamiliar room, still in his clothes from the night before yet wearing Kuroo's Nekoma jacket instead of the suit jacket. He sat up, seeing the outline of his glasses on the bedside table, and putting them on just as the door opened and Akaashi Keiji walked in with a small pile of neatly folded clothes. When he noticed Kei was awake he smiled softly and walked over, sitting down on the edge of the bed. 

"Good morning, it's good to see you awake. How are you feeling?" he asked quietly, setting the clothes down beside Kei. "These are for you, by the way. Kuroo has a few things here for incase he ends up sleeping over, but I know he wouldn't mind if you used them."

"Oh, thank you," Kei whispered, glancing down and fiddling with the sleeve of Kuroo's jacket. "I don't really know how I feel, to be honest. I want to be happy that I was able to avoid everything, that I'm getting away from them because they were a bad part of my life, but it just hurts. The fact that I was so easily able to make them angry and stop the marriage, I'm glad that it wasn't hard, but it makes me feel horrible that I really meant that little to them, that it only took me saying no once and coming out for them to hate me."

"Well, you're always welcome here and free to be yourself, no matter what. It's a really disgusting thing that your parents did, and I can't believe they had the audacity to blame you for anything when they were the ones to react badly. They're cruel people, and if they're that shallow to turn away from you like that then it only proves they're not worth having in your life. I know it hurts, and that I don't know everything, but it'll just take some time to get used to. If you ever need someone to talk to, me, Kou and my fathers are there for you," Keiji said softly, standing up and giving him another smile. "If you want to have a bath or shower, the bathroom is across the hall and there's a green towel for you, it's hanging on the rack and in there it's clean. Breakfast is in half an hour, and when we're done we'll take you back home to see Kuroo and your other friend."

Kei nodded, hesitating for a moment before grabbing the other male's hand. "I, uh... I know we just met, but please just call me Kei. Tell the others that too, and Tets-Kuroo... tell him too, please."

Keiji's expression softened, and he sat down again, giving the blond a gentle hug. "Of course, Kei. You can call me Keiji, okay? And don't be afraid to call Kuroo by his first name either, because I know he likes it a lot when you do."

"Okay, Keiji," Kei whispered, pulling away and moving to stand up, grabbing the clothes and holding them close to his chest. "I think I'm going to have a shower now, if that's okay with you."

Keiji stood up, smiling and walking with him out the room. "The kitchen and living room is just down that hallway, we'll be there when you're done."

The blond nodded and walked into the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind him. Kei let out a shaky sigh, placing the clothes to the side and turning on the water to begin to heat up while he undressed. Taking off Kuroo's jacket was difficult — it was like his safety blanket and he was hesitant to part from it even just to have a wash — but once he'd done that it was easy to rid himself of the stiff clothes from the night before. The problem was when he glanced at himself in the mirror, and saw the way he looked.

Kei had always been insecure about himself, he never liked showing much skin whilst many of the guys around him had no trouble walking around in the club room shirtless, even in his middle school. He was too tall, not muscular, and had none of the characteristics people usually liked. Perhaps people thought he looked attractive (according to the number of confessions he got in middle school), but he certainly didn't feel that way. Even his skin wasn't completely unblemished, covered in small, pale freckles on the back of his neck and his shoulders that nobody would notice unless they were close enough and paying attention. 

As he stood in front of the mirror, bags under his eyes, his skin paler than it usually was, and a dark, blotchy bruise on his cheek, he honestly didn't understand how Kuroo could possibly love him.

Kei had never thought his parents words would mean so much to him, but their words lingered in the back of his mind. He was a mistake, he was never meant to be born, that was what they had told him and that was what he'd known for a very long time. They only intensified his insecurities, and without someone there to tell him otherwise that was what he would believe.

He took off his glasses and stepped into the shower, silent tears trailing down his cheeks along with the water. When the sobs came, the sound of the shower running muffled them all, and Kei was left a crying mess. As much as he wished he could be with Tetsurou right now, as much as he wanted to be held close and for them to finally talk, he was more scared than ever of what the other would say. When he didn't think he was loveable, when he didn't even have a family, when he had hid everything for so long from him, he didn't know how he would be able to face Kuroo. 

He could only imagine how he would react to seeing him, and he couldn't help but imagine the other avoiding looking at him because of the ugly bruise on his cheek, imagine Kuroo saying that he didn't really love him, imagine being tossed aside and losing him. Kei knew deep down that all of those scenarios were very unlikely, that Tetsurou wasn't like that, but that didn't stop the fears and worries bubbling up inside and spilling out into more tears. 

He did wash himself with soap and washed his hair, but the whole time he couldn't help but be disgusted at his body. He wasn't good enough for Kuroo, who was handsome and had a nice body, had tan skin and toned muscles and the most beautiful smile Kei had ever seen. In his opinion, he didn't deserve Tetsurou and Tetsurou deserved better than him.

It wasn't until he heard a soft knock on the door that he was broken from his thoughts, and he flinched, somehow managing to steady himself and prevent himself from slipping over. "Kei, is everything okay? You've been in there for a while," Keiji called out, voice caring and gentle though loud enough to be heard over the shower. 

Kei frowned and shut off the water, trying to keep himself from letting out a sob and only succeeding in muffling it. "I-I'm fine, I'll be out in a moment," he replied, his voice shaky. Even he himself didn't believe what he said, since he was obviously upset — (but maybe that was because he was too weak, too emotional, always bothering other people with his problems yet not letting them in when it counted). He let out another choked sob, more hot tears falling down.

"Can you dry off and get into some clothes? I don't want to make you uncomfortable but I do want to help you if you're upset, Kei," the dark haired teen said from outside, his voice genuine and kind. Kei felt his heart clench, because he didn't quite understand why Keiji would care about him and want to help when they had only just met, but he did as asked anyway. He was still crying as he did so, but somehow he managed to fumble around and put the clothes on. 

Kuroo's clothes fit fine in terms of length, but at the same time they were baggy on him. The other was a lot more muscular than him, and he didn't like wearing tight fitting things, so Kei felt small in his clothes. The fabric was soft and worn, lacking the crispness of new shirts, and he could see a couple of stains on the shirt, but it felt homely. It was comforting and smelt like Tetsurou, and he felt safe when he slipped that Nekoma jacket back on and zipped it up. He could know that the other male had given him that jacket, and that obviously had to count for something even if he himself felt like he wasn’t deserving of the feelings behind it.

Silent tears continued to fall as he stepped outside, immediately being brought into a hug. Surprisingly, it was Koutarou that had done so, and it was much gentler than Kei had thought, not that he knew what to expect. It wasn't a hug from Tetsurou or Lev or Tadashi or Akiteru, but it was nice. He didn’t know how, but it almost felt like there was an understanding behind the embrace, and he couldn’t help but relax even though he’d only just recently met Bokuto. He sniffled softly as the older teen held him close and rubbed his back, Keiji assuring him that it was going to be alright and that he was safe now while Koutarou did so. It took a few minutes, but eventually the tears stopped and Kei found himself no longer so overwhelmed by the thoughts that he'd had when he was alone. He wiped his eyes and gave them a half smile before he went back into the bathroom and put on his glasses once more.

When he came back out, the couple were smiling at him and Keiji offered him a hand. Kei took it, the small yet gentle contact helping him to relax just a little bit more. Usually he wouldn't be so open about everything, but they had basically seen him at his worst already because of Friday and the events of the dinner party, and they seemed to understand. There was no use hiding his emotions when they were actually doing a decent job at helping him, and he didn't have any of his usual support around him.

"Let's go and have breakfast, okay? I don't think you ended up having dinner yesterday and you need to have something to eat," Keiji said kindly, leading him to the kitchen where Kenichi and Hiroki were busy cooking. Kei’s steps were slow, but that didn’t matter and they didn’t force him to walk any faster, mentioning what they were having for breakfast. 

Now that he thought about it, he'd slept through dinner as well as lunch the day before when he was in the car on the way there and back, but he never had much of an appetite anyways, especially when he'd just been sick. It probably wasn't healthy though, and he did feel really hungry now. He wasn't going to complain, because the eggs, bacon and toast being cooked smelt nice and if he felt like he would be able to eat that was a good thing. Lev always insisted he eat proper meals anyway, and he'd already not done that since breakfast the day before. His body was desperate for food, and he’d been running on empty aside from the large amounts of sleep, so he would eat even if he felt bad for them making him breakfast as well as giving him a place to sleep and everything else.

He nodded at Keiji’s earlier words, not letting go of his hand until they got to the table and Kei was sitting down, now fidgeting with the sleeve of his jacket. A few worries had bubbled up again, and he bit his lip, hesitantly beginning to speak. He only continued talking when he saw the kind smiles the couple sent his way, not a hint of pity, just kindness. "Can we not talk about any of this over breakfast? I don't want to be a bother, but if I go into my apartment with Lev first, then while I talk with Tetsurou you can ask Lev anything you want to know to help clear things up."

"I think that sounds okay, but my Tou-san might have a couple of extra questions, I'm not sure," Keiji replied with a nod and a smile, placing a hand on Kei's shoulder and giving it a gentle squeeze. "But to me, I think that's good. I know it's hard to say everything that's going on, and I wouldn't expect you to share it all immediately, so if your friend can do it for you so we can help you then that'll be better for all of us. Especially if you already have to explain things to Kuroo, explaining it all again can be very emotionally taxing."

Kenichi nodded and hummed in agreement, setting down a mug in front of him and placing the kettle with the tea in the centre of the table. “We’re here to look after you, Kei, and if that’s what would make you feel more comfortable than I don’t mind. We just want to know so we can figure out how best to support you, okay?”

“Okay... thank you, Akaashi-san,” Kei said, giving him a grateful smile and pouring some tea. He quite liked it there with them, he decided. It was a safe haven, a home away from home, and a place where he felt understood even without having shared his story yet. The right people had been there last night, and he thanked whatever gods were out there that they had been.

x-X-x

Breakfast was quiet for Kei at least, since he didn't particularly feel like talking. He only ate a piece of toast and an egg, along with a cup of tea, but it was enough for him to feel full. Even when he was offered more, he didn't particularly feel like it, and just sat there looking down while everyone else finished up. He didn't know how he was going to tell his brother and Tadashi about it either, but he figured Lev would help him do that like usual. 

The nicest thing was that the people in the room didn't force him to talk, supporting him quietly. Keiji was sitting next to him, having finished soon after since he didn't eat much more than Kei, and he took the blond's hand once again after he was finished to try and comfort him somewhat.

Still, leaving to go back to the apartment was a relief, especially when Lev was waiting for him as he arrived. The silver haired male didn't hesitate to hug him as soon as he stepped out of the car, and Kei clearly relaxed at the embrace, hugging him back. The other didn't know exactly what had happened, but he knew that it wasn't good and his friend needed help, and so that was what he would do. The group made their way to his apartment, with Bokuto heading up to go find Kuroo. While Lev and Kei talked in his room, the group hung out in his living room, simply waiting. 

When Tetsurou had Bokuto knocking at his door at ten in the morning, waking him up from his sleep in, he was a little surprised. He knew that the other captain had some dinner thing he was going to with Akaashi over in Sendai and wasn’t meant to get back until that afternoon. He didn't know much about where Kei was aside from something to do with family, so he'd just assumed that he was heading down to visit his brother and the freckled guy (Yamaguchi, if he remembered correctly). Sure, it sucked that they couldn't talk about Friday afternoon — he still blushed whenever he remembered Kei calling him by his first name and saying he loved him — but he understood that family was important and knew that there was always that evening when he got back. 

He yawned as he made his way to the door, dressed in sweatpants and a hoodie, tilting his head when he saw Bokuto. Koutarou had a mixture of a nervous and worried expression on his face, but he sighed in relief when he saw it was Tetsurou that opened the door. "Hey, Bo," Kuroo said, running a hand through his hair and yawning once more. "Not that I'm not happy to see you, but how come you're here? Is everything alright?"

Koutarou frowned and shook his head, sighing softly. He pursed his lips, considering how to explain it for a moment before he spoke. "Not really, but it's not to do with me. It's a bit of a long story, but some stuff happened with Kei and his parents at the thing Keiji and I went to last night..."

Tetsurou blinked, immediately feeling more awake at the mention of the blond, and he frowned. "What do you mean, Koutarou? And how come you're calling him by his first name?"

"Right, so you haven't seen the texts yet.... well, you're going to have to find out either way," he replied, biting his lip and grabbing Kuroo's hands. Fear began to well up inside, and as he heard what was said next, Tetsurou's heart began to break. "Okay, so don't freak out too much, please. Long story short, his parents are shitty. They tried to force him into an arranged marriage, he said no and came out as gay. They weren't happy about it, spewed a whole bunch of bullshit that I'm pretty sure Kei took to heart, his father punched him and then they disowned him. He doesn't want to be called by his family name when he's not a part of that family any more."

Tetsurou didn't even know how to react to hearing that. He knew that Kei lived alone, but he'd only found that out on Friday and didn't know why. They hadn't even had a conversation about everything else, and now this had happened, and he had no doubt that Kei was hurting. "What?" he whispered, unable to find any of the right words to say. 

"I don't know much either, since he hasn't said much since the whole thing. Apparently his friend, the really tall guy that was here on Friday, knows about everything else and he's going to tell us when he's finished talking with Kei. I think Kei wants to tell you everything himself though. From what I can gather, his parents never really cared about him in the first place, and I'm guessing having him wasn't planned. Him coming out as gay was just an excuse for them to hate him openly, though I think Kei knew how they felt about him already and didn't want to believe it." Bokuto sighed and looked down, letting go of Kuroo's hands. "Kenichi will make sure they pay for what they did, he already called off the partnership they were potentially going to have that would have expanded their business more."

Tetsurou looked down, unable to do anything but listen. The worst part was that he didn't even know about any of the other stuff that had happened between Kei and his parents, he didn't even see this coming. How long had he been suffering, how long had he felt alone because of his parents, how long had he been holding it all in for? How had Kuroo not realised anything, how had he been so blind? He truly loved Kei, he loved spending time with him and seeing him smile, but how many of those smiles had covered up loneliness or sadness or pain? "How... how is he doing?" he asked, looking up at Koutarou.

The owl-like male sighed once again, shaking his head. "He's not great, Tetsurou. We managed to get him to have a wash and eat breakfast, but when he was in the shower he broke down crying. He didn't say what it was about, and he didn't want to talk about anything. We leant him some of your clothes to try and help him be more comfortable, but he was pretty clingy to Keiji this morning and he hasn't taken off your jacket since last night. He's talking to the other guy in his room right now, but when they're done he wants to see you. Like I said, I don't know everything, but we're just going to have to do our best to help him and you're more likely than any of us to get through to him."

Tetsurou nodded, stepping outside and closing the door behind him, not bothering to put on any shoes seeming as they would just be heading downstairs. "I'll look after him, I promise. I really love him, Kou," he said softly, walking into the elevator with him and pressing the button for the second floor.

"I know you do, and he loves you too. Just be patient with him, and really make sure he knows that, because I know that I didn't want to believe that Keiji could love me after what happened to me and chances are he feels the same."

Kuroo nodded, slipping his hands into his pocket as they made their way into Kei's living room. They ended up waiting in there for a while, about half an hour for Lev to be finished talking with him, and the whole time he felt anxious and worried. He would do anything to look after Kei, to make sure he knew he was loved, but he really had no idea what to expect until he walked into the room and saw him for himself. 

When Lev finally left the room, closing the door behind him, he had a scowl on his face. Only when he was close enough that they would all hear but he could be quiet he spoke. "Kenichi-san, you better make sure they pay, or I'll kill those fuckers myself," he said, clearly unhappy. "I've talked it through what happened with him and his brother Akiteru, so I think things are going to be alright in that he's not bottling it all up." 

Lev sighed, shaking his head and walking over to Kuroo who had stood up, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Look, I know you don't know much, but don't think it's because he doesn't trust you. He trusts you a lot and he wanted to tell you earlier, but he's also extremely insecure. He has been insecure from the start, and he was scared to open up to you because he didn't want you to see him when he was weak and decide you didn't want him. I know that's not the case, but the assholes told him some shitty stuff like that he's a mistake and he's disgusting, and now he's scared of that you'll think that too. It might be hard for him to explain some things, but you just have to be patient with him, because he's been through a lot."

It was quiet, loud enough that only the two of them could hear. The silver haired male knew Kuroo loved his friend, but he still didn't want to take any risks, especially if he felt guilty that he hadn't been able to help sooner. Tetsurou gave him a sad smile and nodded, giving him a quick hug. "Thank you, Lev, for everything you've done for him, and for telling me that," he whispered, pulling away and taking a step towards the door. 

Lev shook his head and looked at the room where Kei was. "Don't thank me, Kuroo. He's my best friend, of course I'm going to look after him. But right now, more than me, he needs you. He loves you so, so much, and I dare say more than he loves himself. He did all of this so he could be with you, and we can't have you fucking it up because of a misunderstanding."

x-X-x

As soon as Lev left the room, Kei found it was getting harder to breathe. Lev had left, meaning Tetsurou would be coming in to see him, and he would explain everything. He was terrified of it, terrified of all the things that could go wrong, and as each second passed the worries grew inside of him. He still had his best friend, and he still had Akiteru, but as much as they assured him that he wasn't a mistake and he wasn't disgusting, the three of them knew he didn't believe it. 

Ever since he was little, Kei didn't believe that it would be possible for someone to love him. His parents didn't love him, so how could someone else, let alone another guy? And then Tetsurou came along, and he felt so many new and different things. His parents had seemed to be respecting his wishes too, seemed to be pleased with how he was going, and for once, he thought he had made them proud. He had thought he had hope that they would see him for who he was and they would love him, only for them to have lied to him and gone behind his back to arrange a marriage that he didn't want, let alone even know about. 

And then the moment he came out as gay, they stopped hiding their hatred for him, and it hurt, because he could no longer fool himself with the hope they would one day change. His parents didn't love him, and he didn't see how he was worth loving. He was a mistake, he shouldn't have been born in the first place, and what person wanted someone who was a mistake? Tetsurou deserved better, and every second that went by made him wonder if the other would even show up at all. Kei was basically an orphan now, disowned by his parents, and he had spent the last month hiding his struggles from the other male. What reason would Kuroo have to want him, to listen to him when Kei had so many chances to tell him everything but was too scared to.

A minute passed, and he'd just about lost hope. A tear slipped out, and he pulled his knees to his chest as a sob escaped him as well. He was a horrible person, there was no way that he deserved for Kuroo to love him, nothing that made him special. He was a horrible person, he was weak and scared and insecure. Perhaps Tetsurou had finally seen that and that was why he wasn't there? If that was the case, then Kei would support him, even if it broke his heart.

The door opened, and he didn't look up, expecting it to be Lev apologising and telling him that Kuroo wasn't there. "I already know he doesn't want me, Lev, just go," he said, taking off his glasses with a shaky hand as more tears spilled out. The door closed gently, and Kei only sobbed louder, hiding his face as he heard the footsteps get closer. 

The bed dipped a little as someone sat down beside him, and then a pair of arms wrapped around him. The embrace was warm, and it was safe, and even without looking up Kei knew exactly who it was. He froze, and with widened eyes he glanced up, letting out another sob. He'd just messed up even more, because he just admitted to Tetsurou's face that he didn't think he wanted him, and that was just like saying he thought his love meant nothing or wasn't real. His heart clenched, guilt washing over, and he didn't know what to do but cry. He was at a complete loss for words, because how could he possibly begin to explain everything?

Initially, he'd expected to be tossed aside and left, for Kuroo not to have come at all. And then, when he had turned up after all, he expected anger that he had ever doubted the other male. He was scared and overwhelmed, and not once did he expect what actually happened even if it was more likely than anything else that he'd thought up. Before he could say a word to explain, he was pulled in closer, and Tetsurou pressed a kiss to his forehead. "Shh, don't worry, love. I'm here now and I'm not leaving. I don't know if you remember, but I made a promise that I would never leave you, and when it comes to the people that I love I don't break promises. Just like I said, I love you too much to leave," he whispered, voice gentle and caring as he held Kei close and ran his fingers through his hair. 

Kei moved to wrap his arms around Tetsurou, clinging tightly to him as he sobbed. He was still scared, still failed to understand how the other could love him, but just hearing those words and remembering the promise from Friday already eased some of the worries in his mind. "I'm sorry, Tetsu," he choked out between sobs, burying his face in the crook of his neck in an attempt to hide his crying face. It hurt when his bruised cheek pressed against the other, but he didn't really care about that at the moment. 

"There's no need to apologise, okay? Just breathe with me, Kei," Tetsurou assured lovingly, one of his hands moving to rub the blond's back as the other continued to stroke his hair. "I'm right here with you and we can take as long as you need. Nothing could make me leave, you're most important."

And so, Kuroo worked with him to help him calm down, counting to four and telling him to breathe in or out or to hold his breath. His voice never lost the loving tone, never stopped being gentle in the way he spoke and treated Kei, even when the sobs had died down into sniffles and Kei pulled away to look up at him. 

Tetsurou gave him a warm smile, using one of his hands to tenderly cup the cheek that wasn't bruised. With the other hand he brushed away the tears, touch as light as a feather when it came to the side that was bruised. When he was done, Kuroo carefully put his glasses back on, leaning and giving him a gentle kiss when he was done. It was only for a moment, but it was soft and full of love, just to express how much he truly cared. "I love you so much, firefly, and I'll tell you over and over again, for all eternity. I could never get sick of telling you how much I love you, and I'd do anything to show you with more than just words."

The blond leaned into the touch of Tetsurou's hand, relaxing and letting out a shaky breath as he found that the bruise didn't hurt when the tears were wiped from his cheeks. Being cared for like this, being looked at with such love, feeling a touch so delicate, it was a complete contrast from the way his parents treated him. It was different from the way Lev and Tadashi and Akiteru comforted him when he was upset, because he didn't need to know they cared. That was something he knew for a fact, they loved him and they would support him through everything. But Tetsurou knew Kei had his doubts and worries, and was doing everything he could to help him see that he was loved. The kiss was unexpected, but when Kei felt the other's lips on his and looked into his eyes, he knew that there was no denying the love he found there. 

"I love you too, Tetsurou," he murmured, giving him a sad smile and hoping that Tetsurou could see the love in his eyes as well. The other male seemed to understand, smiling gently whilst scooping him up so that Kei was on his lap so they could still be close while they talked. One of their arms were wrapped around each other's waist, and Kuroo's other hand found Kei's. Their fingers intertwined, and the dark haired male's thumb began brushing against the back of his hand, silently continuing to comfort him even if he wasn't currently crying. "That was the first thing I didn't expect, that I would ever fall in love. I've known I was gay for a while, but falling in love wasn't ever something I imagined for myself."

Tetsurou smiled softly, giving his hand a gentle squeeze to encourage him to keep talking. Kei's expression softened into a thankful one, and he took a moment to breathe before continuing. "Ever since I was young, my parents never were a big part of my life. They never played with me or cuddled me even as a baby, getting back to work as soon I was born and paying someone else to look after me instead. Aki-nii was the only person to love me for a very long time. He was seven when I was born, and when he wasn't at school or playing volleyball he would spend lots of time playing with me. He comforted me when I had nightmares, he watched my little kid shows with me, even cut up my food for me when I was too young to do so. There were no family dinners, and even on birthdays they just bought us something and told us to run along."

"For the longest time, I thought that was what parents did. Even when I went to kindergarten and everyone else's parents took them, I had Akiteru. I didn't think anything was wrong, that they just showed their love for me a different way. But time and time again they continued to disappoint me, not showing up to the school play or the time I read out a poem for Mother's Day. The first time they showed up to anything I did was a piano competition, but they'd only come along so they could brag to their friends. I won, but I didn't even get a 'congratulations' or 'well done' like the other kids. The people that came in second and third were getting a picture holding up their award, and I was sitting in the corner alone. When my father finally came over after taking to his friends, he scolded me for the one mistake I made and told me it wasn't good enough. I was seven years old, and I had been playing since I was three, so mistakes weren't acceptable."

Kei laughed bitterly and looked down, and Kuroo pulled him in closer, kissing his cheek. "Well, I for one happen to think that it was quite an impressive achievement," the older teen said, giving him a loving smile. "I'm seventeen and I don't know the slightest thing about music, let alone being good enough to play an instrument in a competition and win."

The blond looked up, the corners of his lips turning up into a small smile as he heard the other's words. "Thanks, Tetsu. Remind me later and I'll teach you something, or at least play something for you. Making me play piano was the second best thing my parents ever made me do, since I actually really enjoy it," he said softly, before pausing as he thought of what to say next. Tetsurou was patient, never once getting annoyed at him, and for that he was glad, especially since they were going to start getting into the harder topics soon. 

"Being eight was one of the best and worst years for me. It was the year I met Tadashi and the year I started playing volleyball, or when my brother started to teach me how to play at least. But also, it was when I was seven that I began to realise how different I had it compared to other kids. We had a public speaking competition at our school, and I thought that for sure my parents would come along when I got into the finals. I worked really hard on my speech, to memorise it and prepare, since they'd always cared more about how I did academically than most other things. They didn't show up, having left that morning to go on a business trip. I don't even remember what happened that day, all I remember is being really upset. When they came home two days later, having been out for drinks with their work friends, I asked my father why they didn't come even though they'd promised. He told me-" Kei took a shaky breath and closed his eyes, squeezing Kuroo's hand tightly as he held back a sob before continuing.

"He told me that whatever it was didn't matter, that I wasn't important compared to his work. When he looked at me, there was no love in his eyes, no caring smiles, just annoyance. It was when I began to realise they didn't really care about me, even if I didn't know why. And so, I did the only thing a kid my age could do, which was work harder. Obviously, if they were annoyed at me, it must have been something that I was doing wrong. I wasn't working hard enough, I wasn't getting good enough grades at school, I wasn't the son they wanted. It was when I was twelve, having come home from losing the finals of our volleyball tournament, it was that night he finally snapped. He was drunk then as well, otherwise he never would have told me."

He let go of Tetsurou's hand, wrapping his other arm around the other male and hugging him tightly. "I've never told another soul what happened that night, but I remember it clearly, as if it was yesterday. 'You were never meant to have been born,' he told me. We'd done sex ed already, so I knew about how sex worked and everything, and he knew that. 'I was drunk, and so was your mother, and we both needed to have a break from work. We had sex, just for relief, and when your grandmother found out your mother was pregnant she was elated and convinced her not to get an abortion. I told her not to listen, but she did anyway, and now we both regret it. Nobody is ever going to love you, Kei. You might get good grades, but you only have one friend, and that goes to show how much of a piece of garbage you are.' I know I should have told Akiteru about it, but he was living in an apartment where he went to uni and I convinced myself that my father was lying because he was drunk. I thought I did, but deep down I knew that they didn't love me, and that's why I tried so hard to please them even if I wasn't going to take over their companies. I didn't want it to be true, I just really wanted them to love me." 

A few tears slipped out, and he let out another sob, unable to keep the emotions in. He'd been telling the truth when he said he'd never told anyone else about it, because he hadn't even told Lev. But now that his parents had really admitted to everyone that they thought he was a mistake and hated him, there was no use holding it in. What he'd been trying to believe was a lie had been true the whole time, and Kei knew he needed to admit that to someone, and it was a weight off his chest to do so. He tried his best to keep from having another break down, trying to take deep breaths just as he had been instructed earlier.

Tetsurou wrapped his arms around him and held him close, hushing him softly and pressing a kiss to his forehead. "I know, Firefly, I know you did. They didn't treat you like you deserved and still do deserve, because you did nothing wrong. You tried so hard, and I need you to know a couple of things. Firstly, I'm so, so proud of you, because you came so far and you did so many amazing things, had so many wonderful achievements, and even if they can't recognise the effort you put in, I can. But secondly, you never have to do anything for my love. I fell in love with you for you, even before I knew all that cool stuff you did, and you don't need to please me for me to keep on loving you. I'll keep on doing that because you're you, and I love the person you are. I love the way you're honest and kind at heart, that you have a beautiful, caring personality even if you might not show it the best at first. I love watching you play volleyball and seeing the way you interact with the team, and even though it's not so great that you were working yourself too hard, it was adorable seeing you all sleepy on the way back home from evening training."

Kei sniffled, but he was able to calm down a lot quicker this time, listening to Tetsurou's words as he focused on breathing. A small blush made its way onto his tear stained cheeks, but he didn't bother to hide it as the other male continued to speak. "And also, you're so damn beautiful that I can't even begin to think how you see me as an angel when you're the way you are. My poor bisexual heart went into overdrive when I first saw you, and it was really lucky that you took the stairs because otherwise I wouldn't have been able to hide my blush by the time I saw you next. Your hair is such a beautiful colour as well, it's not often that there's natural blond hair in Japan and it really, really suits you. Your eyes, don't even get me started on them, they're this stunning, warm golden brown colour. Sometimes they're more of a soft brown, but other times they seem like liquid gold. That night when we were outside together after training, my god, you were ethereal with the way you looked in the moonlight. But that's not even the best part, because I love your smiles the best. Whether they're big or small smiles, I love seeing you smile. Even more, I love the way you look when you're really happy, because your eyes light up and it makes me want to be happy too. So, aside from your name also meaning firefly, that's why I call you it, because you shine your own light."

He looked up at Kuroo, and couldn't help it but smile a little as more tears welled up. "What the hell, that's so sweet." Kei gave him a kiss on the cheek, before pulling away a little and moving an arm to wipe his eyes. "You're too sweet, Tetsu. Now I'm going to feel bad making this all sad again," he muttered, biting his lip and looking down. "I still have half the story left to tell. But... thank you. It does mean a lot hearing you say all those things."

Tetsurou blushed a little at the kiss on the cheek, and gave him a loving smile. "Well, what can I say? I'll tell you I love you as many times as I can, even if I don't say the phrase specifically. Besides, I know this is hard for you to talk about, and if I can cheer you up somewhat as we go or at least make it a little easier, then it's worth it. So don't feel bad," he replied gently, moving to once again take his hand and lace their fingers.

He nodded at hearing that, closing his eyes and taking a breath as he though about what to say next. "I think we're just about at the spot for you to learn about my plan. You know how I said falling in love with you was the first thing I didn't expect?"

The dark haired male hummed in understanding, and Kei squeezed his hand gently. "I had a plan for my life. I had my whole life written out, and I planned on sticking to that religiously. It went into more depth than this, but essentially the plan was to go to this one school with my best friend, play volleyball there and in uni, find a job and live life. Never once did I think that I was going to find love, because I've always seen myself as unloveable when it comes to being loved romantically. Sure, I would get some confessions in middle school, but they were all from girls and I turned them down for obvious reasons. I just always thought that no guy would want me, because I'm not like other guys. I'm not muscular like everyone else, and I'm tall as well so I don't have the appeal of being petite and small. I've never liked my body, and it's why I try to avoid changing in the club room. I'm ashamed of the way I look when nearly everyone else is more well built, even if they're more on the lean side. Apparently you see it differently than I do, but I've always been really insecure, and not just about the way I look. If someone liked me, I was afraid that when they got to know me they would see how small and lonely I really was and not want it. I'm so scared to let people in, I'm so scared of losing people, and so I just planned to never fall in love or have a relationship to spare myself the pain of getting disappointed like I was by my parents."

Kei let out a shaky sigh, and Tetsurou leaned in to give him a gentle kiss, resting his forehead against the blond's. "Well, I happen to think that you're beautiful just the way you are. I don't care whether you're muscular or not, and I like that you're tall. It means I can kiss you easier, which is a plus, but it also makes it easy to look into your eyes," Kuroo said truthfully, pressing another quick kiss to his lips and nuzzling his nose against Kei's. The younger male leaned into the touch, unsure how to respond to the kisses, but enjoying them nonetheless. "And I know there's still lots we have to learn about each other, but learning all of this hasn't made me love you any less. It only makes me want to be there for you more, so that I can help get rid of the loneliness. I want to be there in your life and be one of the people that changes things, and if I can I want to help you see yourself the way I do, because I love the person you are."

The feeling of Kuroo's soft lips against his own still lingered, the words still ringing in his head. Tetsurou's voice was warm, mellow and smooth, and with each syllable he created this strange feeling inside of Kei's heart. 'Maybe' he thought, leaning in and hesitantly closing the gap between their lips, 'maybe you'll be able to do that'. Kei had never felt like he was beautiful, but he couldn't help but feel that way when he saw the way Tetsurou looked at him, felt the way he kissed him and held him, heard the tone in his voice. It almost made him want to cry, but he held it in, moving his head away somewhat as he continued to speak.

"Anyway, there was this school, the school that my brother went to in Miyagi. It's called Karasuno, they had a really great volleyball team a while back so you might have heard of it. I really wanted to go there, but the fame wasn't the appeal for me. Just, Aki-nii always used to tell me about how great it was, how the team was like a family to him and that the coach worked them hard but it was a lot of fun. So for years, me and my best friend Tadashi planned on going there together. It wasn't a prestigious school like Shiratorizawa, but it was the one thing I really wanted. To sum it up; go to Karasuno with Tadashi, play volleyball on the team like Akiteru, and never fall in love."

Kuroo nodded in understanding, his other hand moving to run through Kei's hand. "Something big changed then, huh?" he asked softly, giving the blond another kiss to the forehead. 

"Mhm. Two weeks before the start of the year, my parents come home for once. Like, they have this literal mansion, but I was the only one that really lived in it since they were basically always out. I don't understand the point of it, really. Anyway, so they ask me for a talk, they sit me down, and they tell me they're moving to Tokyo for work and that I'm coming with them. I don't understand why the hell they did it, seeming as they never looked after me at all and there was absolutely no point for me to go with them when they could have just left me back in Miyagi and seen me just as often. It's not like they come visit me, aside from telling me things or dragging me off to their bloody dinner parties and events. But like, they just show up and casually tell me that I'm moving two weeks before the school year starts, as if they didn't completely ruin the plan I'd had since I was eight or nine? 'Oh, you can still go down and see Yamaguchi and Akiteru every weekend' they said, but how the hell can two days replace volleyball every day, sleepovers during the week and all the other stuff? Short answer, it doesn't, but it's not like they cared anyways," he muttered, rolling his eyes. "Sorry if I sound really frustrated all of a sudden, I love Nekoma now and I'm glad I got to come here, but it still pisses me off that they literally did that knowing full well how much I wanted to go to Karasuno. Please keep that in mind for when I talk about this all later."

"No, it's okay, I get it. I understand that it's hard, especially when it was all you'd ever known and wanted. By all means, keep on going."

"Thanks, Tetsu," he whispered, before clearing his throat quietly. "But yeah, they wanted me to live in some other mansion thing that they wouldn't live in very often, and it's horrible living in that sort of place especially all alone, so I ask if I can have an apartment instead. It wasn't like I expected them to comply, but I guess they would leap at the chance to get me out of their hair and wanted to keep me on their good side so that I'd continue to want to please them or something, I don't know, but they bought me this place here and put in all the stuff I used frequently in the old place or that they wanted to replace so they didn't have to buy new stuff. So, I finally move to Tokyo the day before school starts, going to some school called Nekoma in which the only appeal for me was the decent science labs and resources and stuff, away from my only friend and my brother. I get ready early, and decide to walk to school earlier than need be just because I had nothing better to do, and you know what happens next. I press the elevator button, the doors slide open, and there's two guys in the same uniform as me. One of them doesn't look at me, but the other does. He's tall, got this shitty bed hair, but he's also super hot and exactly my type — tall, dark haired and handsome, if you're wondering — and I don't even know what to do because I'm really, really gay. So, I turn the other way and walk down the stairs in the hopes that I can avoid the hot third year and like, not do something stupid and die of embarrassment."

Kei was about to continue when Tetsurou placed a finger on his lips and looked at him in disbelief, a dark blush on his cheeks. It was unexpected to see him like that, almost comical, but at the same time it was cute and he couldn't help but laugh quietly as he heard the first sentence. "Wait, so the whole time that was why you walked away? Oh thank god, I wasn't the only one freaking out. I did a lot of stupid stuff that first day and the second morning, I'm not going to lie. Like the whole reason I teased you a lot and went too far and you snapped at me is because I didn't know how to act around you. I did really want to talk with you because you looked lonely, which is understandable by the way considering what just happened in your life, but I didn't know how. Since I started out by teasing you I wasn't sure how else to go about it in case you got even more frustrated at the sudden change in personality and thought I wasn't being genuine," he explained, chuckling sheepishly. "I'll let you finish the story, but sorry in advance for being an ass."

The blond smiled a little and shook his head, glad that at least some of their conversation could be a bit more lighthearted. "Like we agreed, we were both at fault there so it's fine. Anyways, you were there waiting downstairs and you wanted to walk me to school, which was kind of sweet even if you didn't know how to hold up a conversation with me, but I also didn't know how to communicate with you because I'd expected you to go on ahead and ignore me. So I told you to leave me alone, and walked to school, but I couldn't get you out of my head even if I wanted to. I hadn't even gotten to school yet and I already had a really big crush, so thanks a lot for ruining plan number two. Not that I mind now though, but that's beside the point. I still had volleyball though, that's what I thought. But then, I walk to the gym, and who else is there but the devilishly handsome guy I had a massive crush on and wanted to avoid? Even better, he's the captain, and also a middle blocker, so there's no escape!" He rolled his eyes playfully and lightly nudged Kuroo's side, humming a bit when the other laughed a bit and smiled lovingly at him. 

"So, there went the third plan out the window, and life was completely turned upside down. Not only that, but I really didn't see myself having a place on the team at first. Lev was new, but even from the beginning I couldn't see him as anything but a middle blocker, and Inuoka wanted to be a middle blocker too. Add on the fact that you are too, then with me that meant four middle blockers on the team, and I didn't really think I fit in with everyone. I leave school that day, and as I walk out and try and get away from you and Kenma I see Lev walking. Tadashi was really getting on my back about making friends, and I didn't exactly make any during the day, so I basically went 'fuck it' and started talking to him. Turned out to be one of the best decisions I've made, because we hit it off and it turns out we have a lot in common. We've already been through the second morning at school and we're over it, so I guess we're going to jump back into the more difficult stuff..." Kei trailed off, letting out a shaky sigh and looking up into Kuroo's eyes. "I don't know how you're going to react to this stuff, which is why I didn't come right out and tell you already. I was scared that I would make you upset or offend you, and then I already was fine with everything before I got the guts to say and I didn't want to relive bad memories or make you upset unnecessarily."

Tetsurou tilted his head, his expression softening, and he nodded but gave him a sad smile. "It's okay, I get it. You don't need to feel bad about that, Kei. Whatever it is, I can take it, and I'd rather we go through everything you want to say then end up with regrets in your heart," he assured gently, stroking over the back of the other's hands with his thumb.

"Okay then. Thank you, Tetsurou," he whispered, giving him a small smile before biting his lip to figure out how to word it. "After our miscommunication, we started hanging out more and so did Lev and I. Even though I had you guys, I still didn't think Nekoma was home. I felt disconnected, I suppose, because all of you seemed to belong in the team and I didn't. It was hard for me to go to training and know that I was so close with you guys, and that we couldn't all play on the court together. Lev might be new to volleyball, but he's got a lot of potential, and when he gets his receives together he'll be really important in our teams defence. He's got a very different playing style than you and I, and that's what'll make him really good, because the opponents will have to adjust their mindset to someone new. But more than that, Lev also had Yaku, and you had everyone else on the team, meanwhile I struggled to make friends with people aside from you two. I missed Akiteru and Tadashi, and as much as I wanted to love it I just couldn't, not when even despite having you and Lev I didn't think I was needed on the team. I thought that you could have all been perfectly fine without me, and I still was upset that I couldn't play with Tadashi, but that's not even the worst part."

Kei shook his head and let out a sigh, guilt clear in his eyes. "I went back to Miyagi that weekend, and Tadashi had morning practice with the team at Karasuno. They invited me along, and they played. We had a three on three match, and it was a completely different dynamic, a completely different feeling to the way I felt at Nekoma. They didn't have real leaders when it came to middle blockers, and I could easily picture myself being a part of their team. I can't sugar coat it, and I know it's horrible, but I wished that I was there and that I'd never had to go to Tokyo. Tokyo wasn't home, but Miyagi was, and I felt like such a shitty person and such a shitty friend because you had been nothing but kind to me and inclusive and I wished I was there." 

As he continued to look into the older male's eyes, he saw the flash of hurt in there when he said that, and his heart clenched. "Kei..." Tetsurou whispered, glancing away for a moment as he thought things through. "I get that you were worried, but you should have told me. I'm not mad, and I don't blame you for feeling that way since you didn't chose to come here, but I wish I could have known you felt like that."

Kei knew that it was going to be hard, but he couldn't not say this, or else he would regret it later. "But what good would that have done? There wouldn't have been anything that you could have done, Tetsu, and everything was sorted out by Saturday evening. Just, listen... I know I couldn't do anything about what had happened, that it wasn't my choice to go to Tokyo, that I was just struggling to deal with the change, but it still was wrong to feel that way and I know that. I literally broke down into tears about the whole thing, by the way, it was really bugging me at the time. But then, I don't remember if it was Aki-nii or Tadashi, but they asked me what I would do if I had the chance. If I could turn back time, forget about Nekoma, go back and play for Karasuno but forget Nekoma, what would I do? It was an easy answer, of course I couldn't!" He felt more tears begin to well up, but didn't let them fall. Now wasn't the right time yet, now wasn't even the thing he'd cried over the most. 

"I may not have felt like I fit in right away, but I didn't hate it at a Nekoma. It just took me some time to realise that it was what I needed, that there was more for me here than Karasuno could ever hope to give. I've made some great friends in the team there, and Tadashi is there, but it's not Nekoma. It doesn't have you there to help me improve blocks, it doesn't have Yaku and Lev and Taketora and Shibayama and Inuoka and everyone else that I've learnt so much from. I have a blast playing volleyball with Karasuno when I go there, and I've got this strange rivalry with this guy Hinata, but not going there means I have more motivation to get better. It helped me get the confidence to ask Taketora if I could block his spikes, gave me a goal of things I had to work on for the weekend. And my brother made me realise the most important thing that weekend, Tetsurou."

At the use of his name, Tetsurou looked back, his eyes a little wider. Kei knew it would be hard to talk about all this, because even if Kuroo and him had the relationship they did, it didn't change the fact that he was the captain. He was the captain, and one of his teammates had felt like he didn't belong at first, but then was also showing to care about the team more than he'd known. "And... and what would that be?" he asked tentatively. Kei wiped his eyes, giving Kuroo's hand another squeeze, and he smiled.

"So what if we have four middle blockers? So what if I'm not a regular? We're a team, and the people on the sidelines are just as important as the ones playing. We spend the whole year together, working as a team and growing together, and even if not everyone plays it doesn't mean they worked any less hard than those who did. It doesn't mean that all the times together were any less special, and that it was a waste of time to work as hard as we do each day. Even if we don't all play on the court, each victory is one that we have as a team, and we're all a part of it. We're all part of Nekoma, we all share so many memories together already and we haven't even gotten to the point in the season where we're going against other teams. Our team is special, and it's made up of everyone, not just the people who are regulars. And when something happens on the court, when someone gets hurt — be it something minor like a nosebleed or something more serious — that's when it really shows how much of a team we are. Because who goes on to the court, but the people who have been preparing and putting in just as much effort as those who are regulars? If we can't step up and play when the team needs us most, it all falls apart. When I realised that, it made me really, really happy." 

He couldn't help it, the tears began to flow once again, and when he looked up he saw that Tetsurou had a proud smile and watery eyes as well. Kei smiled up at him, letting go of his hand to hug him tightly, and found himself being held close in Kuroo's arms. "Kei-"

"I know I don't get to choose who plays, but if you and Lev get to play, I don't have to feel worthless on the sidelines, or feel like I don't need to be there. I'll know that I've worked hard, and that when you and the team need me most I'll be there. And next year, when you've graduated, I'll have learnt so much and can be someone the team can rely on them as well. That's why when two weeks later, on the Sunday evening before our fourth week... I got back from Miyagi, and my parents were waiting in the apartment for me. In hindsight, the reason they did it was probably because of the fucking arranged marriage, but at the time I thought it was because they were conscious about money. They told me that if I wanted, I could go to Karasuno, but if I chose not to I wouldn't be able to keep going down every weekend to see Tadashi and Akiteru. And if I went to Karasuno, I wouldn't be able to keep coming down to see you guys, so essentially they were making me choose between my two families. They wanted me to choose straight away, and I did. I chose to stay."

Tetsurou's eyes widened, and his expression shifted into a frown. He seemed confused, his eyebrows furrowed, and though Kei knew it was to be expected he still felt guilty. He knew he really should have mentioned this much, much earlier, that perhaps he wouldn't have worked himself til he collapsed if he had, but he'd kept it in. "Kei, what the hell? Don't tell me this is why you... and you weren't going down on the weekends... fuck, I should have seen it sooner," Kuroo whispered, letting out a soft sniffle of his own as Kei let out a soft sob. "I'm so sorry, I've been such a horrible captain and friend. I should have been there to help you, I should have done more, I-"

"How can you say that when it was me that pushed you away? I was the one that didn't let you in when I should have, and I feel horrible for it," Kei told him, letting out another sob. "It's what I've always done, and it's the only thing I knew how to do. I put my head down, and work hard, to try and prove to my parents that it was worth me staying. They expected me to go back, I know they did, but I knew that no matter what Akiteru and Tadashi would be there for me. I couldn't keep on going back to what I knew, to the easy path, and I couldn't just leave the team I'd grown to love so much. That's why I drove myself to the point of exhaustion, why I spent so many nights up late, because I not only wanted to prove to them that here was the right place for me, but to myself and the team. I wanted to work hard for the team and get better, and to prove to myself that I should be here and not in Miyagi." Kei pulled away, taking off his glasses and trying to wipe his eyes even despite still crying, and what hurt most was that Kuroo let him. He didn't keep on holding him in his arms, just watched him sadly, in defeat, and now Kei was too scared to do anything to try and begin that contact again even if he was still sitting on his lap. 

They sat in silence for a bit, as silent as a room full of tears was, until Kei finally spoke up, his voice small and helpless. "It's not the first time that I've done this sort of thing, working myself to the point that I collapse or get sick, so I know how to hide it. I didn’t tell anyone, but Lev kind of guessed cause of Tadashi and Akiteru, and to be honest I'm surprised I lasted as long as I did with Lev on my back. It's probably the only reason I didn't collapse after the first week, because we usually eat dinner together and he makes sure I eat even when I really didn't have an appetite. I have a horrible habit sometimes, I get completely irrational, and I don't know how to break myself out of it until all of a sudden things build up and break. I think that I need to do things on my own, I get scared that people won't understand if I try to explain, and a whole bunch of other things that seem all to real and logical at the time but aren't. I don't think, it just kind of happens, and then I regret it later. I want to let people in, but I don't even know how to begin, and then I get scared because you're all really happy and I didn't want to make it hard on you guys. I wanted to do well for the team, and for myself, but then I let everyone down, and now the whole thing with my parents happened and I'm more afraid than ever.”

“They told me I'm a mistake, and I really, really feel like I am because all I ever do is mess things up and push people away and do dumb things. Perhaps I stood up for myself, and I told them no, but what I really did was confirm what I had known all along. I knew they never wanted me to exist, I knew they were just using me to their advantage, and so I banked on the fact that they wouldn't be able to control that hatred if they knew I was gay. On one hand, I'm glad they're out of my life because they're absolutely shitty people, but on the other hand it hurts because my whole life I just wanted them to love me, and now I know for certain that they don't. I don't know what I'm going to do, where I'm going to live, I don't know anything at this point! I'm just Kei, nameless Kei, the disgusting mistake. I don't understand why you love me, Tetsurou, I really don't." He looked away, trying to move off Tetsurou's lap as he sobbed, only to find the older male had wrapped his arms around him once more and pulled him in close. What was more, he could hear Kuroo beginning to sob, and the sound was simply heartbreaking to him. When Kei looked up, even through the blurred vision, he saw the tears, and he hugged him tightly. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry I can't be the person you deserve," he mumbled weakly.

"No, Kei, don't apologise for that. I'm sorry, I just never knew that you were suffering and going through much and it's hard for me to hear that you felt all of those things." Tetsurou cupped his cheek, the one that wasn't bruised, and leaned in for a kiss. It lasted longer than the other ones, and for once Kei kissed back, even though he had no clue what he was doing. All he knew was that for some reason, Kuroo loved him and was doing his best to show it, and he loved him back. The kiss was wet, but it was loving and somehow kept him from sobbing. "Firefly, oh god, I love you so much. I can't even begin to explain everything I feel for you, and I feel like I'm the one that doesn't deserve you. You've done so much for me and for the team that I didn't know about, and yet you call yourself a mistake? I don't care if you don't have a last name, I'll give you mine if you want it, but you're anything but disgusting and a mistake. I've never met anyone so caring and thoughtful, and staying here when you could have gone to Karasuno? How the hell can I top that, when I'm not even sure if I'd have been strong enough to stay in your shoes? You're amazing, you're beautiful, and I'm never going to leave you," Tetsurou whispered, his own tears continuing to fall as he brought Kei in for another kiss. "I love you, I love you, I love you, and I promise I'll be there to help you this time round. Even if you need somewhere to stay, you can stay with me and I'll look after you and show you the life you deserve, because you deserve the world. So please, let me love you, let me in, and I'll make sure it all turns out good in the end."

Kei sobbed, but this time the tears weren't just of sadness and fear and insecurity, but also of happiness. He buried his face in the crook of Tetsurou's neck, the other male holding him close. His hands ran through the blond's hair, and he whispered loving things into his ear, telling him he was beautiful and perfect and that Kuroo would never let him go.

Things were hard at the moment, yet more than ever before Kei felt like he had hope. Tetsurou loved him, the Akaashi family and Bokuto were there to support him, he had Lev by his side, the team at Nekoma, and everyone back in a Miyagi. He was still picking up the pieces, but Kei was loved and cared for by so many people even if his parents weren't one of them. 

"I love you, Tetsu, I love you so much," he cried, clinging tightly to him and nuzzling him gently. There didn't need to be anything said back, since Kei knew deep down that Tetsurou cared and it brought a warmth to his cold, lonely heart.

He said it back anyway, though, because Tetsurou couldn't help but tell him time and time again how he felt. "I love you too, Kei, I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, so here we are, 13,400 words and too much hurt/comfort to handle later. Sorry for the long wait between chapters compared to the usual daily updates, but I hope it was worth the wait! I’m struggling to believe I started this on Saturday a week ago and it’s Monday and it’s been 53,000 words already oof-
> 
> I’d really love to know what you thought of this chapter, since I’m pretty happy with how it turned out in the end especially compared to other chapters in this fic. I’m thinking there’s only going to be a few chapters left, but considering my track record of adding in extra plot... who knows, really?
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, especially if you made it to the end of this chapter! Thanks as always for the comments and support, and I hope to see you all soon!


	12. Warming the heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have some more KuroTsuki fluff and hurt/comfort

After a while spent together in each other’s arms, Kei had calmed down completely and was just staying curled up to Tetsurou. The older teen was running a hand through his hair, the gentle touch leaving a tingling feeling whenever his fingers brushed against the skin of Kei’s forehead. It was peaceful, and despite the crappy things that had happened, he was able to push the negative thoughts away for a bit and feel happier.

“So, Friday...” Kei began, pulling away slightly and putting his glasses back on before looking up at Kuroo. There was some things that had been on his mind for a bit, and seeming as the majority of the difficult stuff they had to talk about was done, he figured it was finally time to ask. The dark haired male had already began to blush at the mention of Friday, and even more so at his next question. “How much of that was real, and how much of that was my imagination?”

Lev had mentioned Kuroo being blushy when it came to him, but he never really thought it was that obvious of a thing. Kei had never seen it first hand before, and he didn’t realise just how much the other actually blushed. It was adorable, seeing Tetsurou tilt his head and furrow his eyebrows with reddened cheeks and a bashful smile, and he couldn’t help but give him a kiss on the cheek and watch as he blushed a darker shade. It made him want to smile, and smile Kei did, waiting for Kuroo to give him an answer.

“Well, uh... some of it was? What do you mean, exactly? Some of the stuff I did was pretty embarrassing... I’m confused, I don’t know how much you remember and how much you don’t...”

Kei watched as he spluttered and tried to give an answer, and soon let out a soft laugh. “Oh, Tetsu, you’re too cute,” he said with a giggle, moving to run his hands through the mess of dark hair. It was soft, and despite being styled in that unruly bed hair there weren’t too many tangles in it. The other clearly took care of his hair despite the way it looked, and Kei could see this quickly becoming a favourite past time, especially with how Tetsurou leaned into the touch and seemed to enjoy it. “I was arguably more embarrassing, to be honest. When I’m tired or sick I pretty much lose all filters, but I also dream quite vividly, so I can never tell if I did anything or whether it was a figment of my imagination. Holding my hand in the infirmary, me being in your jacket and you carrying me, saying that we love each other multiple times, you taking me to your place, feeding me?”

Tetsurou blushed even darker and looked away, and Kei giggled a little bit more. He was a little surprised with himself as he didn’t usually giggle, but not as surprised as he was about seeing how flustered the older teen was. “All of that was real,” he mumbled, glancing back and giving him a shy smile. “I don’t know how I handled it. You were so cute and clingy, and I just wanted to look after you since you didn’t look well at all, but every time you woke would do something adorable and then all of my feelings came spilling out as well. I didn’t see a point in hiding how I felt if you were being so affectionate, especially since your feelings probably came from somewhere, and if you remembered what happened after I didn’t want you to think I didn’t feel the same way.”

The blond smiled at hearing the last part, his cheeks turning a soft pink and his ears a shade of red. “That’s sweet, Tetsu, you’re so sweet,” Kei murmured, moving his hand to cup Tetsurou’s cheek and pressing a kiss to his nose. He heard Kuroo’s breath hitch, and laughed softly once again, peppering a few gentle kisses across the dark haired male’s face. “Just look at you, you’re so red. You know, when we first met I thought you were going to be some arrogant hot bastard with that dumb smirk, but you’re really a huge softie. And it just makes me love you even more, knowing that you have such a kind and loving heart, knowing you’re so gentle and thoughtful. You’re genuinely one of the best people I know, Tetsurou. I wasn’t expecting you to give me such a thoughtful response, if I’m honest, though I probably should have been. I was mostly asking because of something that happened when I wasn’t well. I’m pretty sure that it wasn’t real, but I dreamt that I woke up a sixth time,” he whispered, leaning in closer and brushing his lips against Kuroo’s. 

Once, light as a feather, before the other could react. Twice, soft and slow, and returned with just as much care. Three times, gentle and full of love, lasting much longer than any of their other kisses. Kei smiled warmly as they pulled away, stroking over Tetsurou’s cheek with his thumb. “I woke up, and you’d fallen asleep beside the bed with your head in your arms. Not realising you were there because it was dark, I woke you by accident, and convinced you to lie in bed where it was comfortable and warm. We wrapped our arms around each other, and we kissed, just like that. I guessed it wasn’t real since I woke up right after, but I just wanted to know for sure... and to know what that kiss would really be like.”

“Well, I guess you know now, right?” Tetsurou replied breathlessly, giving him a warm smile and resting his hands on Kei’s hips. His cheeks were still flushed a deep red, and Kei loved the sight, knowing that he had been the reason the other was blushing. It made him feel happy, because a blush like that couldn’t be faked, giving him more assurance that it was all real. “You say I’m sweet, but I think you’re sweeter. You say I’m an angel, but I think you’re the angel, Kei. You may not have been my first kiss, but god, I’d let you kiss me for all eternity if you wanted to. I love you, Kei, my firefly, my boyfriend...”

Kei blushed darkly at that, their cheeks both matching the colour of Tetsurou’s Nekoma jacket that he was still wearing, but neither of them cared to hide it. They were lost in each other’s eyes, one pair that seemed like liquid gold with the way they lit up, and the other pair that were a beautiful shade of hazel, both as equally full of love. “I love you too, Tetsu, my angel,” Kei told him, bringing him into another kiss, “my wonderful boyfriend.” Even as they pulled away and simply held each other close, the warm smiles never faded. Just for a while, they could forget about the difficulties of life and focus on each other, on the love they shared.

As the time passed, their blushes died down, and Tetsurou had returned to running his fingers through Kei’s hair while the other traced shapes on his chest. The action, while small, made Tetsurou feel really special for some reason. Just watching Kei with that smile and his eyes brighter than he’d seen in a while, feeling the tenderness of his touch through the hoodie — even if he couldn’t figure out what it was he was drawing, the moment was special. The blond was in his clothes (that were just a bit too big on him, which the older teen thought was cute), and he looked adorable in Tetsurou’s jacket. It made him want to pull him in closer and cuddle him forever, so that Kei would always wear that smile, would always be so happy. In that moment, it was just the two of them, close together and sharing quiet, innocent intimacy, and Kuroo adored it. 

Contrary to the way many people in the school assumed he was like, and despite the many confessions he got, he wasn’t interested in having a good time. He had never done anything more than kiss, and the first and only other time he’d done that was when both he and Yaku were in their first year and only starting to come to terms with their sexuality. (They were together for about a month, and then decided they were better off as friends).

With Kei, Tetsurou just wanted to love him tenderly and with the care he deserved, and have a relationship focused on love. He didn’t care about what people would say, he didn’t care if some would tease him for being a virgin. They could do things like that when they were older, but Kei was fifteen and Tetsurou was seventeen, and right now there was no need for any of that. They had only known each other for two months, but already Kuroo knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with the male in his arms, and he would be damned if he didn’t give it all the love he had within him.

Tetsurou smiled softly at him, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead and sighing happily. Even if things weren’t great at the moment, he would do everything he could to love Kei and to help him see how wonderful he was. Right there in that moment, as Kei looked up at him and gave him a kiss, Tetsurou couldn’t have been gladder that things had worked out well between them. 

x-X-x

“We should probably get back to the others,” the blond whispered eventually, leaning and nuzzling his nose against Kuroo’s, “but I like it here with you. You’re warm.” 

Tetsurou gave him a warm smile and nodded, leaning forward just a little more and giving him a gentle kiss. “I know, firefly, but you’re right. Lev was pretty worried about you, everyone was, but I think he’d like to see you again and see that you’re alright. We can still cuddle out there if you want to. If you want to stay close I can take you, I don’t mind.”

Kei thought for a moment before nodding. “Yes please, Tetsu,” he murmured, snuggling closer to him. The other chuckled softly and kissed his forehead before scooping him into his arms and standing up. Kei seemed happier being close to him, and Tetsurou liked holding him close, so he didn’t mind carrying him around in the slightest.

When they got to the door, Kei opened it for them, and Kuroo made his way over to the couch to sit them beside Koutarou and Keiji. It was a two person couch, and Bokuto didn’t hesitate to pull Keiji onto his lap so that there was room for the four of them on the couch. Hiroki, Kenichi and Lev had sat on three of the chairs from the dining table after moving them over, and though they easily could have brought over another one, neither of the younger couples minded being close to each other. 

“I see things went well then?” Lev asked with a smile, moving his chair to be beside the side of the couch where Tetsurou and Kei were sitting. The blond was curled up beside him, the older teen’s arms wrapped gently around him. They were both blushing lightly, and Tetsurou did even more so as Kei moved to hold his hands, their fingers intertwining. 

Kei nodded, giving him a small smile. “Yeah, it did. Thank you, Lev,” he said softly, weakly squeezing Kuroo’s hand as he looked to his best friend. He was extremely thankful for what Lev had done, since he wasn’t mentally in a state able to tell even more people his life story. He’d broken down enough times talking to Tetsurou about it, so four more people was just way, way too much for him to handle at the moment. “Thank you for talking to them for me, I really appreciate it. I don’t think I could have done it on my own.”

The silver haired male shook his head and smiled warmly back at him. “It’s no problem, I’m glad to help you out whenever you need, especially when you’ve been through some shit. That’s what best friends are for,” he said kindly, giving him a thumbs up. “And besides, you look a lot happier now, so I’m happy I could give you two the chance to talk things out.” There was a loving look in Lev’s eyes, one just like the one Yamaguchi and his brother gave him, and Kei felt a spark of happiness as he saw it. He knew his friend cared, that they were like brothers, but it didn’t cease to make him even happier to see that knowledge confirmed by things like that.

Kei smiled a little wider and nodded, humming quietly in agreement to his words. “It’ll be a while before I’m over all of this, before I can really let go of it all, but talking to Tetsu was a big help. It feels good to not have all of that stuff stuck inside, and to know that for a lot of things that were on my mind, I don’t need to worry anymore.” He looked up at his boyfriend and nuzzled him softly when he was finished talking. Tetsurou smiled fondly at him in return and kissed his forehead before looking to the half-Russian. 

“Thank you for being their for him, Lev. And you guys as well,” Kuroo said, giving him a smile before glancing to the other people in the room, finishing with his gaze on Kenichi. “I’m not sure exactly what happened last night, but I’ve got the gist of it, so I’m glad that if anyone could have been there it was you.”

Kenichi smiled softly and shook his head. “I’m glad that we were there as well. You’re one lucky guy, Tetsurou, having him love you the way he does.” Kuroo nodded, murmuring an ‘I know’ and giving his boyfriend’s hand a gentle squeeze as Kenichi kept on talking. “Kei, I don’t know many people that would have been able to stand up the way you did in that situation. I know it’s going to be difficult, but you did the right thing. No matter what happens with those shit stains, I can promise you that you’ll never be without a home, Hiroki and I will make sure of it. While you were in the other room one of my guys sent me a message to say he got the footage from last night, but they didn’t have any audio recordings at the venue. I wish we could do more, but with only witnesses and that one bit of footage, going to the police or trying something with legal action would likely only provoke them more. It’s not like they’ve really been doing anything bad, aside from being shitty parents and that one punch, and there’s not much we could use against them.”

“Yeah, I figured as much,” Kei muttered, sighing and shaking his head. His smile had faded somewhat as their point of conversation changed, but he knew that they needed to discuss some things like this. There was no point avoiding it all forever. “Thanks anyway, though. I’m honestly surprised they haven’t came along to kick me out yet, but I’m not complaining.”

“Well, what we can do is make sure that you have a place to stay, even if they kick you out from here,” Hiroki said kindly, and Kenichi nodded in agreement. “We’ll try our best to keep you at Nekoma as well, or at the very least Fukurodani which isn’t too far away from here. It’s really hard to tell what they’re going to be up to, seeming as they at least have some brain cells when it comes to business, and I don’t imagine they’d be wanting to have any more big losses after Kenichi broke off the deal they had before they could sign the contract.”

Kei scoffed and rolled his eyes, shaking his head. There was a pang of hurt in his chest even despite the annoyance he felt, and he squeezed Kuroo’s hand tightly as he began to speak. “I mean, it’s pretty easy to narrow it down to a few things that they’re likely to do. You give them too much credit, they’re the type of people to hold a grudge for a very long time over very little things. On top of that, they’re greedy and try to manipulate the situation to get the most they can out of it. Yeah, they’ve got some smarts, but it’s not like they’ve got it all together. They hate me, but I’d imagine they’d not want to give up just yet when they can still get something out of this whole thing if they play their cards right. They still technically have legal custody over me, so as far as the government is concerned they can do whatever the hell they want with me until my life is in danger. As if the police are going to care that they hate me, if they’re not actually doing something legally wrong they’re in control.”

Keiji’s eyes widened as he realised what it was Kei was implying, as did Koutarou’s, and the two shared a glance with Kenichi before Bokuto spoke up. “Kei, you don’t think that they would seriously do that? You and Tooru? You saw how they reacted to it, they called the two of you freaks? I know you’re not freaks, if anyone is it’s them, but why would the four of them suddenly change their opinions?”

“Wait, do what? What are you talking about?” Lev asked worriedly, him and Kuroo looking at them in confusion. Unlike Bokuto and the Akaashi’s, they weren’t there, and they hadn’t met Kei’s parents. They didn’t know enough to make the guesses that the rest of them could about possible scenarios, possible future events.

Kei sighed, moving closer to his boyfriend and looking between the two of them. “Oikawa Tooru is the older brother of Oikawa Aiko, the girl they were trying to marry me to. When I came out as gay, he came out as bi and went with us, and we took him to his boyfriend’s house. It’s just a guess, keep that in kind, but if I were to guess what they’re going to next I would think they’d try to put Tooru and I into an arranged marriage. They wouldn’t change their opinions, not in the slightest, but if they played it right they could make it seem like we were in love, and the marriage was our choice. Perhaps people aren’t all accepting, but as the world is changing more and more people aren’t as against it. They would come out of it with the same benefits with each other as if I’d married Aiko, they seem like the good guys for being ‘supportive’ of us, and they get to keep us away from our boyfriends. Who knows if they’re actually smart enough to consider that, but I wouldn’t put it past them. It’s just the sort of shit they’d do.” Kei looked away, a sinking feeling in his chest as he finished talking, his voice thick with tears he was hoping he wouldn’t shed. He’d began to worry about this potentially happening in the car on the way to the apartment, and as he verbalised his worries the chances of it actually happening seemed even more real. 

And then, he felt Kuroo let go of his hand, and cup his cheek instead. The other male gently tilted his head to be facing him so that when Kei opened his eyes he was looking into Tetsurou’s hazel ones, and then pulled the blond in for a kiss. “Kei, love, we aren’t going to let that happen. If they try taking you away, we’ll get you back, no matter how long it takes. If they want to try marrying you to that guy, or anyone else for that matter, then we’ll just have to elope before they can do that. Who gives a damn if it’s ‘too soon’ for me to say because we’ve only been boyfriends for less than an hour, I love you and I’ll love you forever. I meant it when I said that you could have my last name if you want it, even if it can’t happen officially for another two and a bit years. For as long as you want me, I’m yours and you’re mine, and I’m always going to be by your side. These guys are too, we’re your family, and we’ll be there for you.”

His vision blurred, and he tried his best to blink away the tears. Eloping with Tetsurou, having the name Kuroo Kei, he wanted that too. It was assuring to know that his boyfriend would go so far for him, would do so much for him, even if he wished that it wouldn’t be happening under such circumstances. Kei wanted them to be able to take their time, to have a proper wedding and engagement and have it all not be so rushed. But if the situation was that extreme that it didn’t allow for it, there was nobody he would rather marry. Still, aside from the prospect of marriage, Tetsurou made a very good point. Whatever happened, Kei wasn’t going to be alone, and he had more people there for him than ever before.

That much was only confirmed when another voice spoke up, and Kei glanced towards Akaashi Kenichi. “We’ll do our best to keep you away from them, son. Even if you’re stuck there for a while, the minute something happens or you turn eighteen we’ll get you away from there,” Kenichi said softly, his voice holding a kind and fatherly affection that Kei had longed to hear for so long. Him and Hiroki had caring smiles, and it took him a moment to register that they were just as caring as when they looked at Keiji and Koutarou. “Try not to worry too much on what hasn’t happened yet. You’re a smart and wonderful boy, Kei, just like our Keiji and Koutarou are. I know it’s really easy to overthink things and stress during times like this, but they don’t have you right now. You’re here with us, with Lev and with Tetsurou, and you’re safe. And right now, it’s all going to be okay. I know you’re scared, and it’s okay to be scared, but whatever happens we have your back. We won’t let you go easily, not without a fight.”

Not for the first time that day, and perhaps not for the last, Kei broke into tears. Tetsurou pulled him onto his lap and cradled him in his arms, and Kei hugged him tightly. He’d always only had Akiteru and Tadashi, they had been the only family he’d had for a very, very long time. But now he had all of these people too, and though they’d not been around for nearly as long as Akiteru and Tadashi, they were just as much a part of his family already. His icy heart, frozen by the loneliness he’d felt all his life, was finally thawed and beginning to grow warm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya everyone! Thanks so much for all the comments last chapter, they made me very happy to read 🥺💕! The support always means the world to me, and I’m really grateful to each and every one of you for commenting, kudos and just reading my stuff in general. 
> 
> I’ve been writing a lot recently so if my uploads aren’t daily it’s bc I’m taking a lil break to do other things with my break as well. I watched all of Given yesterday and it was AMAZING! 
> 
> Thanks again, truly, thank you all for everything! I hope that you all enjoyed this chapter, and that you have a wonderful day/evening wherever you are!


	13. The best boyfriend

When they were sure that everything was fine for the moment, the Akaashi’s (along with Bokuto) headed off so that Kei could have some time to just relax and take his mind off things. Lev had organised another ‘is this a date or a friend hang out?’ with Yaku earlier on the week before everything had happened, and though he was reluctant to go and leave him, Kei assured him that he had Tetsurou and that he’d be fine for a few hours. And so, when Yaku had shown up to pick up Lev, the pair headed up to Kuroo’s apartment rather than staying in Kei’s.

In his own apartment, Kei was constantly reminded of everything going on, and everything just seemed dull and sad. It was a stark contrast to the Kuroo home, which was bright and full of life; it was homey. The whole mood in Kuroo’s home was extremely different to what he was used to, and that much was clear from the moment he entered. There were pictures on the walls, shelves with little trinkets and other interesting things, a shoe rack that actually had multiple pairs of shoes in it. Things weren’t spotless in the house, there were a few cat toys on the floor and the dishes in the kitchen needed cleaning, but it was nice. It was comfortable and lived in by more than one person, it truly was a home, and Kei didn’t feel out of place there.

He’d expected to feel like he didn’t belong, if he was being honest, that he would be out of place in a real home, but he didn’t. Tetsurou’s arm was wrapped around his waist as they walked in, and a fluffy black cat ran up to greet them, sniffing and then immediately nuzzling Kei’s legs. Over on the other side of the room, another cat poked its head out but didn’t approach, returning to whatever it was doing. It was nice there, and Kei couldn’t help but smile, kneeling down with Tetsurou and offering his fist for the cat to sniff, but instead finding his hand being nuzzled. “Aren’t you a sweetie,” he murmured, gently petting the cat and glancing to the dark haired male with a small smile. “I’ve always liked cats, but I’ve never been able to have a pet. What’s his or her name?”

Tetsurou hummed softly and kissed Kei on the cheek before petting the cat as well, who purred and flopped on his back so that his tummy was exposed. The blond’s cheeks flushed a light pink, not quite used to the sudden affection yet, but he smiled a little more and moved closer to the other. Their shoulders brushed as Kuroo scooped the cat into his arms and cradled him like a baby, but it was nice to be close like they were. “This cuddly fluff ball is Miyuki, the other one over there is Fuku. Miyuki’s always liked people, and he’s generally pretty friendly unless someone does something to startle Fuku, but even then he only really hisses. Fuku isn’t the most open, usually he just stays on his own when people other than me or my mothers are around. He likes quiet people so if you’re lucky he’ll come over and say hi, either that or he’ll hide and you’ll see Miyuki smother him with cuddles and kitty kisses.”

“So you’re just like Tetsu, huh?” he cooed softly, gently scratching Miyuki behind the ears. The cat just mewled quietly and relaxed, clearly enjoying the attention, as Kei looked over at Tetsurou. “Fluffy hair, affectionate, protective of the people he loves, and a sweetheart. Miyuki is basically you if you were a cat,” he said with a soft laugh, standing up again as Tetsurou gently returned Miyuki to the ground and stood up as well, a soft blush on his cheeks.

“I mean, you’re not wrong that he’s like me,” the dark haired male said with a hum, leading him to his room, opening the door and going to open up the blinds so natural light flooded the room. “I give better cuddles than Miyuki does, though, as I’m sure you’ll find out all too well. It’s a little bit of a mess in here since Bokuto woke me up, I hope you don’t mind, but it should be comfortable enough.”

His room really wasn’t that bad, aside from the extra pillows and blankets on the floor and the bed clearly having been left just as Tetsurou got out of it. The desk was a little cluttered with a few notebooks opened and the contents of the third year’s pencil case scattered, and there was a Nekoma jacket on the back of the chair, but other than that the room was clean. It was a little different than Kei remembered, but there was an older looking lamp on the bedside table and the alarm clock indeed had red numbers. The most notable thing that he hadn’t remembered seeing was the bi pride flag on the wall, and he smiled softly when he saw that. It genuinely made him happy to see that Tetsurou’s parents were that accepting of him, especially after what had happened. “No, no, it’s perfect, Tetsu,” Kei whispered, watching as his boyfriend added on the extra pillows and blankets to the bed so that it was more comfortable.

Tetsurou turned to look at him when he heard that, giving him a loving smile. “I’m glad you think so, firefly,” he said softly, finishing up arranging the pillows on the headboard so that it was comfortable to sit up and lean back, before walking over to Kei. “You get comfy, okay? I’ll grab my laptop and we can just cuddle and watch whatever you feel like. And if you want, I can get you one of my hoodies or sweaters? It’d probably be more comfortable than our team jacket, and you’d be able to keep it for longer since I’ll need my jacket tomorrow. Oh, and so you know, that’s your Nekoma jacket on the chair, I washed it for you since it was all sweaty from when you weren’t well,” he rambled, blushing a little and running a hand through his hair. (He might have wrapped it around his shoulders when he was doing school work the night before, and blushed profusely while doing so, but Kei didn’t need to know that).

Kei smiled softly and kissed his cheek, a soft blush on his own cheeks. “Thank you, angel. If you’re willing to part with one of your hoodies indefinitely, I’d like that.” Kuroo blushed darker at the pet name but nodded with a smile, heading over to his wardrobe as Kei unzipped his boyfriend’s Nekoma jacket and rested it on the back of the chair next to his own. He shivered without the warmth of the jacket, but it was only a moment later that Tetsurou returned with a warm looking forest green hoodie. The blond didn’t hesitate to slip it on, and it was a little bit big, but it was warm and he immediately found himself greeted with the familiar scent of Kuroo. “Is it too early to call you the best boyfriend to ever exist?” he asked, sitting down on the bed and waiting for the other to come over. “Because we’ve been dating for maybe an hour, and already you’re being really sweet, Tetsu.“

After grabbing his laptop, Tetsurou sat down beside him, resting the device in his lap and wrapping his arms around Kei. “I wouldn’t complain if you called me that, but really, I’m just looking after you. I want to love you and treat you right, so you’re gonna have to get used to this,” he said, giving the blond a quick kiss and a warm smile. “As long as I’m your sweet Tetsu, your angel, your best boyfriend, I’ll be happy.”

“Okay, angel,” Kei whispered, smiling softly and shifting so that he was curled up with his head rested on Tetsurou’s chest. He hadn’t really ever been this affectionate with someone else, and he hadn’t expected himself to be a very affectionate person, but with Kuroo it was nice. It just seemed natural for Kei to be in his arms, to be curled up with him in his hoodie, to be calling each other cute names and sharing kisses. If he was honest, even if they were still young, he could truly imagine them still like this in years to come. “You do give nice cuddles, Tetsu, you’re nice and warm.”

Kuroo kissed his head and moved one of his arms to open up the laptop, the background a picture of what looked to be a birthday party. Tetsurou was sitting at the dining table with a red birthday party hat on, beaming at the camera. The light in the room was soft and warm, and his face was illuminated in a more golden glow from the lit candles of the cake in front of him. Bokuto and Kenma were sitting beside him, and standing up behind him was Akaashi, Yaku and two women. All in all it was a nice photo, and it made Kei happy to see his boyfriend with such a bright and true smile. He’d never had a birthday with that many people before, only ever sharing it with Akiteru and Tadashi. Tetsurou seemed to notice him looking and hummed softly the other arm that he had wrapped around Kei moving to take his hand and lace their fingers. 

“That was from my birthday last year, it was a good day. I don’t usually make a big deal about birthdays and I prefer to just spend the day with my closest friends and my moms,” Tetsurou explained, pointing to the two women in the picture. The blond’s eyes widened, and he looked up at his boyfriend, a soft smile on his lips. He’d not realised that Kuroo had two mothers, but it eased a lot of worries knowing that, since he didn’t have to worry about them not being accepting or not understanding. “You’ll meet them soon, they’re out on a date at the moment. They’ve been dying to meet you properly, especially after I brought you here on Friday, so I apologise in advance for any and all embarrassing things they do. They haven’t stopped telling me about how cute we were together, and teasing me since I kept on blushing a lot. They’re going to love you, I can already tell.”

“They sound wonderful... just, can you stay close to me when I meet them?” Kei asked softly, gently squeezing Tetsurou’s hand and nuzzling him softly. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to act around them, and I really don’t want to mess this up. I know it’ll probably be fine, but after what happened with my parents, I- I just...” 

The blond looked down fell silent, not knowing how to explain, and he bit his lip lightly. The older teen squeezed his hand, tenderly caressing the back of his hand with his thumb. “I understand, love. I’ll be right there by your side the whole time, I promise you. It’s going to be just fine, and in the extremely unlikely situation that something goes wrong I’ll look after you. They would never intentionally try to upset you, but I get sometimes you can’t help feeling upset or uncomfortable by things, so just tell me if that’s the case.” Tetsurou smiled lovingly at him, moving his hand from the laptop to be cupping Kei’s cheek. He gently tilted his head so that their eyes met, and after sharing a look for a moment he leaned to give him a tender kiss. 

Kei kissed back gently, relaxing at the touch, and when they pulled away sent his boyfriend a thankful smile. He was still nervous, but he trusted that Tetsurou would make sure it all ended up going well, and would look after everything if it didn’t. “I’ll make sure to let you know. Thank you, Tetsu,” he murmured, moving his other hand to be on top the one of Kuroo’s that was on his cheek. “When is it, by the way? Your birthday, I mean. I want to celebrate it with you this year, if you’d want me there.” 

“It’s November 17th, and I’d love it if you were there with me as well,” Tetsurou replied, tenderly brushing his thumb across the skin of Kei’s cheek. “How about yours, firefly?”

“September 27... just don’t expect much to happen. I’ve never really had a birthday party or anything like that, and even if it’s a few months away, with everything going on I don’t know if I’ll be able to organise anything.” Kei shrugged, closing his eyes and letting out a soft sigh. It seemed slightly cruel that when he finally had lots of people he could spend his birthday with, that might not even happen. Besides, how would they even all meet up? There was his friends on Nekoma’s team, Karasuno’s team, Bokuto, Akaashi, and of course Tadashi and Akiteru, and one group would have to go to either Miyagi or Tokyo and it wouldn’t work out, especially when he might not even have a home soon. “Sorry, but can we just watch something? I don’t really feel like talking right now,” he whispered, trying to fight away the pang of hurt in his chest, and the ache it left behind. 

He hated that all it took was this one thought to set him off, that what should have been a happy conversation had reminded him of the things he wanted to forget.

Tetsurou frowned for a moment, a concerned look in his eyes, but kissed Kei’s head and replaced the frown with a gentle smile. “Don’t apologise, love, I get it. We can just cuddle right now, whatever would make you feel better. If you do want to talk about anything though, I’m here for you,” Kuroo assured kindly, moving his hand away from his cheek and logging on to his laptop. “Is there anything in particular you feel like watching? Any show or movie, or just a genre?“

He shrugged and curled up closer to Kuroo, resting his head on the older teen’s chest where he could hear his heartbeat. “No,” he mumbled, taking a few deep breaths and letting go of Tetsurou’s hand so he could wrap his arms tightly around the older male. “I don’t care, just hold me while we watch.” His words were muffled, but it didn’t hide the strain of hurt in his voice. 

The other male heard him clearly, wrapping one of his arms around Kei in return as he opened up Netflix and searched up a particular movie. “I’ll hold you for as long as you want to be in my arms. I’ve got you, my sweet. I don’t mind how long it takes to sort out all of the shit in your life, I’ll be right here for all of it. It’s hard, I know it is, but I promise that it’s all going to turn out fine. No matter what happens, we’ll always have each other,” Tetsurou whispered, pressing play on the movie (Ponyo), wrapping his other arm around him and gently running his fingers through his hair. “Focus on how it feels to be in my arms, here with me holding you close, because nobody’s going to separate us. I love you so, so much, and I’ll never let you go.”

The music at the start of the movie began to play, and Kei relaxed his arms so he wasn’t holding Tetsurou so tight, glancing to the screen of the laptop. He couldn’t help but laugh barely audibly when he saw what movie it was, even despite the hurt that still lingered, and murmured a soft ‘I love you too’ before falling silent. He didn’t particularly feel like he had the attention span to watch a movie at the moment and pay attention to what was going on, but it was good enough background noise as he thought through the other’s words, and then did what his boyfriend said. 

There wasn’t anything he could do about what hadn’t happened yet, since the future was unknown, but right now he had Kuroo there cuddling him, and he wanted to trust that Kuroo wouldn’t let anything happen to tear them apart. The hurt still lingered for a while, but eventually the ache dulled and numbed, replaced by a warmth in his chest. 

Tetsurou would give him gentle kisses to his forehead and continued to stroke his hair, and the small but constant affections were enough to assure Kei that he was loved and cared for. Before he knew it, he found himself drifting off to sleep in the warmth of his boyfriend’s arms. He was exhausted from an eventful morning, sharing so much and going through so many emotions, but here with his angel, just for the moment, life was peaceful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, I’ve been hit with a massive case of writers block and I struggled to write. I hope the fluff was enjoyable though
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	14. Lunchtimes and Dates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukki meets Kuroo’s mothers, and Lev meets up with Yaku

When Kei woke up, it was to the sound of the front door closing and voices calling out a welcome greeting, which Kuroo replied to. It wasn’t that loud, but he still groaned quietly at the noise, glancing up and meeting the other’s loving gaze. The older visibly brightened when their eyes met, unable to keep the smile from his lips. “Sorry if I woke you, sweets. Did you sleep well?” 

Tsukishima nodded, mumbling a quiet ‘yeah’ and sending him a small smile in return. He had to admit that it was nice to wake and still be curled close to his boyfriend, the older teen idly stroking his hair as he quietly watched the end of the movie. After a nap, he didn’t feel as bad as he did before, and though he didn’t particularly feel like doing much either, it was peaceful. 

“That’s great, I’m glad. My moms are home now, by the way,” Tetsurou replied, tenderly cupping the blond’s cheek and kissing his temple. “Lunch will probably be in about half an hour, we don’t have to get up until then. We can just stay here for a little longer, just the two of us.”

Kei nodded, leaning into the warmth of the older teen’s hand. “That sounds nice,” he murmured, moving one of his hands to be resting on top of the raven’s one on his cheek and reluctantly pulling away so he was sitting up. He gave Kuroo a smile for a moment, guiding their hands to be resting in between them and lacing their fingers. 

“Yeah, it should be good. They’re much better at cooking than I am.” Kuroo hummed softly, brushing his thumb over the back of the blond’s hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. He gently lifted up the younger teen’s hand, pressing a feather-soft kiss to his knuckles. “Hey, Kei? About what happened earlier...” he began, hesitating slightly, “I just want to let you know that I know it’s going to be hard for a while. Things like this don’t just disappear, you don’t just magically wake up and find all your problems have vanished, and I understand that you’ll need time and might not want to bother us or something. But you won’t have to deal with it alone from here on in. You’re never a burden or an annoyance, and you won’t have to face these battles on your own. Even if the best thing for you is to just stay with me and rest, or if talking isn’t what’s going to help, I want to support you. No matter how long it takes for things to start looking up, I’ll be here for you, we all will be.”

The blond’s eyes softened as he looked up from kissing his hand, hazel eyes meeting honey-brown. The amount of love evident on Tetsurou’s expression, care slipping in through each word, it made a warmth spread through his chest. Before he could stop himself, Tsukishima let go of his hand, pulling the dark haired male into a tight hug once again. “I’ll try my best to remember that, but don’t be afraid to remind me. You and I both know I’ve done some stupid things, that I tend not to do the logical thing when I’m stressed. And you, Tet-kun, please remember that I love you,” he whispered, smiling once more when he felt Kuroo immediately relax and hug him back. Kei was glad that his boyfriend felt comfortable with his sudden affection, and it was a reliefknowing that he could show the other that he cared about him just as much. 

“I will, firefly. I love you too,” Kuroo murmured, nuzzling into Kei’s hair. “And, uh, I really like it when you call me that. Nobody’s called me that before, so it’s a special nickname because it’s from you, and it’s cute.” 

The blond pulled away slightly so he could look up at Tetsurou, laughing quietly when he saw the deep blush on his cheeks. “You’re cute,” he replied quickly, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek. He found it adorable how flustered Kuroo seemed to get when it came to things like this, he’d never really imagined that the other would be that way, and couldn’t help but blurt it out. It took Tsukishima a moment to realise what he’d said, his ears turning a shade of bright pink to match the other’s blush when he did so. 

It was Tetsurou’s turn to laugh at that, the older teen shrugging slightly and winking at him. “Why, thank you. I must say, you’re cute too, Kei-Kei. Especially when you’re asleep and curled up to me, I just feel like holding you close forever.”

“Lies, you’re obviously the cuter one. When you have a blush like that, it’s not possible for you to not be cute, Tetsurou,” Kei said, chuckling softly when he heard the quiet, whining ‘nooo’ from the other. He playfully rolled his eyes, humming in thought before continuing to speak. “But if you’re going to insist... I suppose there are worse things to be called, especially coming from you. It’s an exception I make for you and you only, so don’t overuse it.”

The way that a Kuroo lit up was immediate, a wide grin spreading across his face and his eyes twinkling. Maybe it was a small thing, but seeing that simply agreeing to letting his boyfriend give him a compliment brought such joy to the raven was really sweet. “Okay, cutie,” Kuroo replied, leaning in and pressing a kiss to the tip of his nose. 

Kei scrunched up his nose slightly because of it, but a small smile remained on his lips. “Yeah, yeah, I get it,” he mumbled, hoping the blush on his cheeks wasn’t too dark. “And Tetsurou? About what you said earlier, I, uh, I don’t mind it when you hold me close. Maybe not for forever, but, I’d enjoy it every now and then.” As their eyes met once more, he couldn’t help but feel lucky even despite everything that had happened. Life could and would be difficult, but he supposed that he could get through it if they were together.

x-X-x

As soon as the two of them left the room and headed to the kitchen for lunch, Kei was worried, but hoped that meeting Tetsurou’s mothers wouldn’t turn out to be as daunting as he’d convinced himself it would be. He couldn’t help but feel nervous, not wanting to mess things up or make a bad impression on Kuroo’s parents, the people that could be his future mothers in law. Especially since he’d already messed up with his own parents, he didn’t want them to see him as a disappointment as well.

Looking up at Kuroo—who had his arm lightly wrapped around his waist—he noticed that a blush was already turning his cheeks a shade of soft pink. The two women heard their footsteps and looked over from the stove where a curry was cooking, and any surprise was only momentary, before they brightened up. Neither of them looked like Tetsurou, but the way that they both grinned mischievously as they saw the new couple reminded Kei so much of his boyfriend. It made him think of how he would smile like that whenever he played volleyball and completely blocked out one of their spikers, that sense of pride and genuine happiness and satisfaction.

“Who’s this, Tetsu? Is he the one you’ve been crushing on~” the brown haired woman asked teasingly, leaving the other female and making her way towards Kei and Tetsurou. She wasn’t short, at about an average height, but in comparison to the two teens she was significantly shorter and the blond had to look down to meet her gaze. 

The dark haired male blushed even darker but nodded, looking lovingly at Kei and then back to his mother. “Yeah, he is. This is my boyfriend, Kei,” he explained, running a hand through his mess of hair hair and twirling a few of the longer strands with his fingers. Tsukishima felt like his heart was going to leap right out his chest when he heard those words; being introduced as Tetsurou’s boyfriend made it all begin to really sink in. “Kei, this is my mom, Ichika.”

He met eyes with Ichika, nodding and giving her a nervous smile as her eyes flickered towards the bruise on his cheek. Her expression softened into a caring one, and for a moment Tsukishima worried how he would be able to explain what had happened, but she simply gave him a kind, concerned smile and didn’t pry. “I’m Kuroo Ichika, just Ichika is fine, and that’s my wife Akari. It’s lovely to meet you.

Kei couldn’t seem to figure out how to speak, even though he knew it wasn’t really that hard. He’d already been introduced, and they both seemed like kind women, but he just felt so overwhelmed by everything. Yet, glancing over at his boyfriend and seeing how flustered he was made it a little easier. He wasn’t alone in this, nor was he the only one nervous. Taking a deep breath, he moved the other’s hand from his hair, taking it into his own and squeezing it. “Your hair is already messy enough as it is, you don’t need to make it worse,” he whispered, taking another deep breath and relaxing slightly when he heard the quiet snort that Tetsurou let out after hearing his words, and felt the other give his hand a gentle squeeze. “Like Tetsurou said, my name is Kei. It’s nice to meet you, Ichika-san,” he replied, briefly giving her a small smile in return and shuffling a little closer to Kuroo. “You too, Akari-san. Sorry for the intrusion, now and the other day... but thank you for having me.”

From where she was cooking, the other woman looked over, shaking her head at his words. “Nonsense, there’s no need to apologise or to thank us. Tetsurou’s told us all about you, and you seem like a wonderful person. You’re more than welcome to come over whenever you want, it’s not an issue. And please, there’s no need for honourifics either,” Akari said, moving to get out some bowls and start serving up the rice. “Is curry okay for lunch? There’s plenty of food in the pantry, so if you’d prefer something else don’t be afraid to speak up.”

The blond nodded at her words, not quite sure how to respond. He wasn’t used to being treated like this by adults, the only other people to have done so being the Akaashi’s. It was strange for them to be so genuinely caring when they didn’t really know each other, but it was nice nonetheless. “Thank you for the kind offer, Akari-san, I mean, Akari. I appreciate that you’re all being so welcoming to me. And yes, curry is alright for lunch, I don’t have a problem. It smells delicious, so thank you for making it.”

Ichika laughed softly at his response to her wife, shaking her head and placing her hand on Kei’s shoulder. “You’re very sweet, dear. Please try to relax a little though, we’re not trying to be intimidating, just think of this like home. Nobody’s going to be judging you for anything, and if you ever need anything feel free to ask. If you want help with homework, or if you need to stay the night, whatever it is just let us know,” she said gently, pulling away and gesturing for him to follow. “Come now, you can sit down and get yourself comfortable. And before you say anything about trying to help, don’t you worry about that for today. Akari is almost finished cooking, and Tetsu can help set the table for us.”

“Uh, thank you, Ichika. I think I’m just going to head to the bathroom before everything is set up.” When she nodded in response, he turned to give his boyfriend a quick hug, unable to keep the smile off his face as he leaned in to whisper in Kuroo’s ear as he did so. “Don’t you go dropping the cups like you dropped the ball at practice the other day, okay?” 

Tetsurou gasped dramatically and then snickered, pulling him in closer and kissing his cheek. “Oh, I wouldn’t dream of it, my dearest Kei. Besides, that was one time, and I’ve never dropped a cup before. Plates and bowls, yes, but never a cup,” he said proudly, grinning at him as he pulled away. The smile remained on Kei’s face as he saw it, and despite still being a little unsure about everything, something told him that it was going to be alright as long as Tetsurou was with him. “The bathroom is through the door next to my room, okay? And if you need anyting—toilet paper, air freshener, anything—just give me a shout.”

“Yeah, I will. Thank you, Tet-kun,” Tsukishima replied, waving a little and heading off in the direction of the bathroom. Just seeing his boyfriend happy, seeing that genuine smile and hearing him laugh in response to something Kei had said, it all made him feel happy as well. Surprisingly, despite how awkward he’d felt he’d been, he also felt like things might go better once he returned to the room with them, and wasn’t as nervous as he’d been before.

x-X-x

As much as he wanted to be there for Kei, Lev knew that at the moment the blond needed some time with Kuroo, and didn’t want to be bothering them at all. Lev had helped him plenty of times in the past, and he was sure he would be able to help more in the future, and right now what was most important was that Tsukishima was being taken care of. 

And so, after heading out from the apartment block, Lev and Yaku had walked along in silence and made their way to the park nearby. This had been the way these ‘friend dates’ had started off the other times, with awkward silence and aimless walking. It wasn’t until one of them spoke up that conversation would start, but when it did, things tended to be a bit smoother. Well, mostly smoother, considering the enormous crush that the half-Russian was harbouring on his upperclassman that meant there were occasions where he struggled to make out coherent sentences. “So, where did you want to go, Yaku-san?” he asked, looking over at Yaku with a bright smile. 

At his question, Yaku shrugged, and for a moment their eyes locked. As a result of their height difference — roughly thirty centimetres — it wasn’t often that they actually looked each other in the eyes, especially when they were walking together (be it during school hours, or these meet ups that Lev remained confused about). The silver haired male loved whenever they did make eye contact, however, specifically since he got to admire the colour of Yaku’s eyes. Most would say that brown was a boring eye colour, and to anyone else, the other’s eyes might not be that special. It wasn’t like in the movies or books, where the brown was described as having flecks of gold or something magical, or where in a certain type of lighting they appeared to be a much warmer shade. It wasn’t anything like that; they were just a normal shade of brown, one that Lev had come to adore in all of their simplicity.

Unfortunately, Yaku didn’t seem to share his sentimentality (or if he did, refrained from demonstrating that fact), and was rather quick to look away after a few moments, his strides quickening somewhat. Lev tilted his head in confusion, not having to struggle much to keep up the pace, but before he had a chance to say anything the shorter male spoke up. “I know a place,” he said hastily, glancing up at the silver haired male once more and chuckling softly as he saw the expression. “I’ll lead the way, so wipe that dumbstruck look off your face and follow me.”

Lev nodded slowly, unable to keep the blush from surfacing to his cheeks when he heard the laugh from the other male. Whenever Yaku laughed or smiled, which didn’t seem to occur very often when he was around, he couldn’t help but feel like it was the most beautiful thing. His was a smile that Lev adored, one that always seemed full of such genuine joy and warmth whenever it made its way onto Yaku’s face, and he really hoped that in the future, he could be the person to make him smile like that each and every day. For now, he’d suffice with holding back from verbally confessing his (rather obvious) feelings, and just spend time with Yaku. 

It was nice, getting to spend time with him, even if he doubted he had a chance. It wasn’t as if Lev was the easiest person to hang out with, and he knew that; he was too boisterous, didn’t really hide how he felt, and was different from a lot of people. As well as that, aside from some members of the team and Tsukishima, nobody had really made an effort to create a friendship with him—a fact that pretty much spoke for itself when it came to his likability. He was more than happy with the people he’d surrounded himself with, though, and he wouldn’t change who his friends were for the world. Despite being confused about whether this was a friend hang out or a date, this time that the two of them could share together—no matter the reason Yaku had for accepting his invitations—he would treasure it for as long as it could last.

Their walk ended up continuing on in silence for a little longer, and Lev couldn’t help but continue to think about the times he had seen Yaku smile or heard his laugh, the picture of that expression clear in his mind. Usually by this point he was blabbering on about whatever random topic came to mind, the shorter male listening along, but he couldn’t exactly come out and ramble on about his smile to his face. Those were topics he usually ended up gushing about to Kei as they both contemplated how they both ended up head over heels for their seniors. 

Unfortunately, the time for thinking about Yaku’s smile was over, as he felt said male give his leg a light kick and tug on his arm. “Oi, I told you to wipe that look off your face, not make it look even more dumb,” he snapped, though there was no real malice in his tone, or even real annoyance; it was teasing, if anything at all. 

As Lev looked over at Yaku, he saw there was a small smile on his lips, a playful glint in his eyes, and with a blush he realised that the other male probably just wanted his attention. It wasn’t as if it was the first time Yaku had opened up to him, the older male had slowly become more talkative and almost teasing around him as time went on and they spoke more. Granted, he had been acting like an idiot the majority of those times (an idiot in love, but an idiot nonetheless), yet whenever it happened it caused his heart to beat faster than it normally did. “You’re not going to talk about your weekend so far? I’m surprised, usually you’re a lot more talkative, Lev.”

“M-Maybe I wanted to listen to you talk about your weekend first, Yaku-san... I’m always talking, but I like listening when it comes to you. You have a nice voice,” he blurted out in response, his heart skipping a beat as he realised that after tugging on his arm, Yaku’s hand had not left, and was still wrapped lightly around his wrist. Even despite the fact that there were many times where he’d become flustered around him, this had to be the most obvious, by far. He couldn’t see it, but he knew the blush on his cheeks was likely very dark, and he could barely hear his words over the sound of his own heart beat. 

There was a few seconds of sweet relief when Yaku stopped walking, but that feeling was momentary as the other soon looked down as well. For a moment Lev was afraid he’d messed up, but the brown haired male’s hand was still on his wrist, keeping him close by, and it wasn’t long before he found himself being tugged along at a fast pace in the same direction as he’d been led before. He couldn’t get the image of Yaku smiling up at him out of his mind, that playful and dare he say, caring, look in the other’s eyes still making his heart flutter. 

Preoccupied with these thoughts, and because the shorter didn’t let him get a glimpse of it, he didn’t notice that there was a deep blush on Yaku’s cheeks, as well as a smile that didn’t seem to want to go away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NCJODWN SORRY EVERYONE 
> 
> please forgive me for the long wait, writers block has been HORRIBLE these past two months and I couldn’t seem to write anything for this no matter how much I tried TwT
> 
> But on the bright side, I have plans for the next few chapters! Including TsukiLev bromance, fun times with Nekoma, and Karasuno! (And ofc krtsk but that’s not even a question)
> 
> I am in the middle of writing three other stories which I won’t publish until I’m finished writing the whole story (because I don’t wanna stress over smashing out chapters and giving y’all content during exams and assignments when I’m 24/7 exhausted like I was the last two months)
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, I’d love to hear from you guys! Wishing you a good day!


	15. Bonds

“You’re welcome over whenever you want, dear,” Ichika told Kei, giving him a warm smile as she handed him a container with leftover curry from their lunch. As much as he’d tried to refuse, Kuroo’s mothers had both insisted he take it and have it for dinner or lunch another time. They were rather stubborn and persistent, even more so than Kei could be, and it was nice to have such kindness shown to him. It made him feel welcomed, and like they weren’t just being nice as a courtesy. Besides, he couldn’t deny that the curry was good—extremely so—and he and Lev not having to cook dinner that night would be a welcome change.

The blond nodded at her words and said a quiet ‘thank you’ before glancing over at Tetsurou. The older teen was sitting down, and struggling to untie the laces on one of his sneakers so he could put them on again and they could walk down to Tsukishima’s apartment. He’d obviously slipped them off without bothering with the shoelaces the last time he was wearing them, and so now wasn’t able to untie the laces so he could put them back on. The blond couldn’t help but snicker at the sight, in particular the frustrated expression on his boyfriend’s face. Hearing him, Kuroo huffed and sighed exasperatedly, before looking hopefully at Kei. 

After rolling his eyes made his way over, kneeling down beside the raven. He set the container down on the floor beside him, gently taking the shoe from his hands and undoing the knot the laces were in. Kei could feel the other’s eyes trained on him as he did so, and as Kei returned the shoe their eyes met, gaze lingering as they both refrained from looking away. “You really need to get a pair of slip on shoes, Tetsurou,” he murmured, lightly nudging him with his elbow. “Or actually untie your laces before you take your shoes off. It’s a little bit more effort when you get back, but saves time later when you want to put your shoes on.”

The raven laughed sheepishly, putting his shoe on and quickly tying up the laces as he spoke. “Yeah, I know. Usually it doesn’t take this long though, I swear,” he defended, pecking Kei’s cheek before leaning to whisper in his ear. “Besides, maybe I just wanted to spend more time with my lovely boyfriend.” 

Tetsurou’s voice was barely a whisper—breath hot against his skin, and a tone so tender that Kei felt he was going to melt—and the blond couldn’t help but blush lightly as the older teen pulled away. “You can always have more time with me whenever you want to, Tetsurou, all you have to do is ask,” he replied quietly, giving him a small smile nonetheless.

Slowly, Kuroo stood up, offering a hand to him once he had done so. Kei didn’t hesitate to take it, grabbing the container with his other hand and allowing Kuroo to help him up. The raven didn’t stop there, guiding Kei into his arms and into a brief, feather soft kiss, one that he knew had caused the light blush on his cheeks to darken considerably. He was vaguely aware that Tetsurou’s mothers had left to give them some space, but the majority of the space in his mind was filled with his boyfriend, and that bright smile that didn’t seem to fade from his face. 

“Well, aren’t I the lucky one, being able to spend time with you whenever I want,” Kuroo murmured, wrapping an arm around Kei’s waist and leading him out of the apartment so they could walk back down to the blond’s. “Is that your way of saying you’d like to spend lots of time with me, too?”

He was warm, Tsukishima noted, and even despite the evening air being cool, it didn’t overpower the feeling of warmth he gained as a result of the closeness they currently shared. Even for a little while, it was just them, together, and that was all that mattered. With a small smile, Kei shrugged, moving just that little bit closer. “Perhaps I might, just a little bit...”

“Only a little bit?” Kuroo asked teasingly, raising an eyebrow at him and smiling. “Kei, I thought I was your wonderful boyfriend! Why wouldn’t you want to constantly be the subject of my affection?”

Kei rolled his eyes playfully, a quiet laugh escaping him before he hummed in thought. “I suppose I should put it this way... if I didn’t want to spend time with you, I wouldn’t be standing beside you, nor would you be my lovely boyfriend. But I am, and you are, so I don’t see a reason to pointlessly bicker over this,” he replied, unable to keep himself from smiling gently at the other when he saw the small pout Tetsurou had. “But most of the time, I don’t mind being the ‘subject of your affection’. Sometimes though, especially if we’re around other people, it’s just better if you ask me first, okay?”

“Of course, firefly!” Kuroo chirped back, pecking the blond’s lips and grinning at the sight; the younger teen’s cheeks flushed a soft red, a shade that Tetsurou was extremely fond of, and that beautiful smile. He knew he would do anything to make the other male happy, even more so considering the difficulties that Kei was going through with his parents, and it was moments like these that they shared that he promised himself to store and cherish forever. “Whatever you’re comfortable with, love. We have all the time in the world, yeah? Just let me know what you’re fine with and what you’re not. I’ll do the same thing, and we’ll work things out, me and you.”

He hummed softly in response, stopping at the elevator door and reaching for Tetsurou’s other hand with his free one. “Yeah, I know, Tetsu. This, this right now, with you, it’s nice,” Kei whispered, tenderly taking the other’s hand into his own, moving it to rest over the elevator button, and with a small laugh the raven pressed it down with him. It was only a few moments later that the elevator doors slid open, and the shorter male led them inside, holding Kei just as close as before. 

For a moment, there was silence, yet it was a comfortable one. Tsukishima shuffled a little closer, burying his head in the crook of the dark haired male’s neck, and Tetsurou was quick to respond by pulling him in to a hug. “God, I love you, Kei.” Nuzzling into his blond locks, Kuroo let out a content sigh, continuing to hold him even as the short elevator journey came to it’s conclusion. It was moments like these that he knew he would come to cherish and hold dear to his heart for a very, very long time.

It was difficult to accept that he would have to be apart from his boyfriend that night, especially seeming as things in the near future seemed so difficult.

“I know,” Kei replied, reluctantly pulling away and giving him a smile as they exited the elevator and took a few steps outside the blond’s apartment door. “I love you too, Tetsu. But I also have to go inside so I can get things ready before I see Lev. I want to know all about how things with him and Yaku went, and admittedly, he is my best friend here at Nekoma, so I’d like to spend some time with him. Especially considering what’s been happening, he just gets it, you know?”

Tetsurou hummed in response, giving him a warm smile in return and quickly stealing another kiss from Kei’s lips. The younger returned it, his eyes lighter as they met the raven’s and they pulled apart. “Goodnight, love. You let me know if anything comes up, or you just want to see me, okay?”

“I will, Tetsurou. Have a good night, my angel,” Kei replied, the last part barely a whisper as he sent one last smile towards his boyfriend (Tetsurou was his boyfriend, he was still trying to process that somewhat), and then entered the apartment. The lights were off, and it was rather cold, and slowly he made his way through to the kitchen. Now that he was apart from Kuroo, the older male’s energy contagious, everything seemed to be so much more empty. 

The dull ache that had been suppressed by the affection and care was quick to well up again, along with the knowledge that his parents indeed didn’t care. It was scary, not knowing what his future entailed. That had been a recurring pattern these past few months, but now there was so much that could be lost if there were more changes because of his parents.

Opening the fridge to place the leftovers that Ichika had given him, Kei’s eyes trailed to an envelope that was stuck to the fridge door. The familiar writing of his mother was on it, and the mere sight of it was enough to cause the frustration and fear he felt well up. With a frown, he pulled it off, slipping out the contents, a letter, and reading over it.

With a barely audible sigh, he sunk to the floor, knowing that this was far from over.

x-X-x

“They’re so fucking stupid, Lev,” Kei growled, shoving the letter into the taller teen’s hands as the door was opened for him. “I can’t believe the audacity of these damn people. It hasn’t even been a day, and now this? My god, they’re going to be the death of me.”

Pushing his way past, the blond made his way inside, promptly plopping down on the silver haired male’s couch and groaning into a pillow. The closing of the door and quiet footsteps were more than enough indication that Lev was coming over, but the feeling of a hand gently running through his hair was one that surprised him. It was a while before the other spoke up, and by the rustling of paper Kei presumed he’d been reading through the letter. 

A few more moments passed until the half-Russian let out a heavy sigh, tapping him on the shoulder. Kei rolled over, and after a gesture from him, sat up. Lev was quick to sit down beside him, wrapping his arms around the blond and lightly running his hands over his back. “I know it’s stupid. But I mean, it could be much worse than it is, Tsukki,” he murmured, holding his friend closer.

Kei let out a heavy sigh, leaning into the embrace and let out an annoyed grunt of agreement. “I don’t understand this, I don’t understand them. I already know they don’t care, I know they don’t. And when they do things like this, acting like they do and that things are all alright, it makes it very hard. And I just wanted a break, more than for a few hours, I wanted a break.”

“I know you need a break, Kei-Kei. It’s not always going to be given to you, and I know you understand that better than anyone. This isn’t the end of the world, you and I know that. You’re stronger than this, then them, and you can pull through.” 

Lev’s words were cut off when Kei pulled away, shaking his head and pulling his knees up to his chest. “How, Lev? I don’t see a scenario where I come out happy once all this is through,” he spat, biting down on his lip as he shook his head and gestured to the letter, one he’d read twenty times over by now. 

‘Dear Kei,

We are sorry for what happened last night, and for trying to force this marriage on you. Your father and I have talked and realised that you aren’t really a homosexual, and that you just saw it as your only option to get out of the marriage. We were wrong for making you feel that way, and for hurting you, but we wanted to let you know that we know, and that now you don’t have to tell us you were lying. We know you were lying about that, and so we will allow you to continue on at Nekoma. However, since you have been rather disobedient, we are cutting your allowance to visit Miyagi and you will have to move back into our home where we can take proper care of you. You must have everything in your apartment boxed by Sunday, and we’ll have a mover come to take it to our house.

Lots of love, your caring parents.’

That was what the letter had read, and despite knowing how his parents were,it didn’t change the fact that Kei was furious with them. He was furious and scared, and he didn’t know what to do. “I know you read the letter too, and it’s bullshit, complete and utter bullshit. Just because I can still go to Nekoma, nothing is solved. One worry is gone, but another one is here just after. I can’t live with them, I can’t, Lev. I would be completely under their control, and I can’t live like that. I can’t spend every moment afraid, not knowing if I’ll get to see you again the next day because they’ve decided to move me without telling me. I can’t lose you, I can’t lose Tetsurou, not now I’ve got you.”

The amount of times he’d broken down in the past little while, Kei was sick of it. He felt like crying, the familiar burning of tears welling up distorting his vision, but there was no way he would let them fall. His parents weren’t worth crying over, he knew that, but right now they seemed like a power so daunting and absolute. Any chance of escaping them seemed minimal, especially when he would have to live ‘under their noses’. They didn’t care, not until he did something they didn’t like, and then he was the most disobedient and horrible son in the world. The thought of living under their control and demands scared him, especially when there was so much at stake, and so much that could go wrong. 

Now, because of what had happened, Kei had people and a life to lose. It wasn’t just him, Akiteru and Tadashi anymore. It was Tetsurou, Lev, and Nekoma. It was the team he’d grown to love, it was his home, and there was no way he was willing to lose that. He’d already chosen Nekoma, and one wrong step and he could have that ripped away from him. His parents didn’t care about him being happy, they cared about controlling him, and he had no doubt that they didn’t mean a word about caring for him in that letter.

Even despite having pulled away, Kei found himself being pulled into another warm embrace, Lev refusing to let him suffer alone. He was unnaturally quiet as he took a deep breath and thought through things, his hand idly rubbing the blond’s back. “You have Nekoma, Kei. I know you see it as something to lose, but it doesn’t have to be. You have Nekoma, and we have you, and we’ll do everything that we can to support you because you are one of us. Even if you are taken away, that doesn’t make you any less a part of our team. It doesn’t change that you’re my best friend, that Tetsurou loves you, that you’ve made an impact in our lives.”

The silver haired male paused, smiling gently as Kei wrapped his arms around him and holding him closer. A few choked sobs were audible, but Lev didn’t mention them, continuing to explain. “It will be difficult, and I’m not saying that it won’t be. And perhaps I don’t have the full perspective on this, but there are other options, and the Akaashi’s would probably be more than happy to help you if you needed it. Knowing your parents, the last thing I want is for you to be there with them. But, if they aren’t home very often anyways, then it might not be so bad. You still have us, you won’t be alone through this, and I think you need to stop stressing about what you don’t know. Life has challenges, and this is just another one for you to overcome.”

Kei let out another sob, and despite his prior determination not to let it out, he couldn’t help but cry. There was so much going through his head, and as much as he knew Lev’s words had sense, he didn’t want to accept it. His voice was small as he spoke—muffled by the sound of his choked sobs against the taller male’s shirt—and not for the first time that day, he found himself spilling everything to the other. “Lev, I’m scared. I don’t want to be so far away from you, from Tetsu. The house is in the complete opposite direction of school, and it’s going to need a half an hour train ride… what if something happens? Even if it’s alright, I won’t be able to see you nearly as often, to spend dinner with you, watching movies.”

“We’ll make the time. I don’t know exactly how or when, but I promise you that we will. I know you’re scared, and I am too. I don’t want anything to happen to you, I don’t want you to hurt like you have been, and I never want to see you so weak and upset. Believe me, if there was some magic way to make all of your problems go away, I would do it in a heartbeat. Seeing you happy, it’s one of the greatest things. You’re such a kind guy, and even if you take some getting to know, it’s worth every moment.” 

More quiet sobs filled the room, the blond breaking down further at those words, and the sound was heartbreaking. Lev wished that he could make Kei happy, but that just wasn’t the reality. He didn’t know what to do, they were both young and struggling. It wasn’t an easy fix, they both knew that. It would be naive to believe that things would magically pan out; they were both in for a lot of hardship in the future. Right now, the only thing Lev could do was comfort his friend, and look after him, until things moved forward and the true gravity of the situation became apparent to them.

It wasn’t clear how long they stayed like that, clinging to each other in equal need for support, but eventually Kei fell quiet and slowly pulled away. His face was tear stained, his cheek bruised, and eyes pained. “How was your afternoon with Yaku?” he asked, tone monotonous, but only in an attempt to stifle the pained undertones that still managed to slip through. There was a pleading look in his eyes, and that was all it took for Lev to understand that right now, Kei just wanted to push aside these things and forget.

“It was nice, really nice. He took me to a cat café and we had lunch there while playing with the kitties there. We practically held hands as he dragged me there, but I was too scared to admit how I felt,” Lev rambled, trying his best to enjoy the memory of the date-but-not, but being unable to rid himself of the guilt of having fun and speaking of his own good things whilst Kei was in pain. “I really like him, and I think I might have a shot, but it’s still a while before I’d ask him on a proper date. Today felt so much like a date, though, so I think I’m just as confused as before.”

The blond nodded, moving to curl up in Lev’s arms again. He found solace there, unwilling to bother Tetsurou once again. Kei pulled his boyfriend’s jumper closer to him, taking in its scent, and prompted Lev to continue talking.

“Tell me more. I want to know everything,” he murmured. And Kei did want to know, because even if he couldn’t be right now, at least Lev deserved happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha, it’s been so long-  
> I’m sorry for the not consistent updates, but I’ll get this fic done! I hope you enjoyed the chapter, and thanks for all the support!  
> Any comments you have are always appreciated. Thanks


	16. Calm before the storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha guess who’s back~ Back again~ With angst~

It was another hour of just sitting and talking until Lev finally let out a heavy sigh and stood up. Tsukishima was clearly tired, but not looking as if he was going to fall asleep any time soon. He was curled up in the corner of the couch, holding a pillow close to his chest. To any other, it would be considered a pitiful sight. To Lev, it was difficult, seeing the pain that his best friend was in and knowing that it wouldn’t be easy to simply deal with the problem and move on. There was a potential real danger with letting him go back to his parents, and that was something they both knew. Right now though, he felt the main priority was taking care of Kei, so that he wouldn’t end up sick again like he was on Friday.

“Come on, I’ll get you something to eat, Tsukki. Even if you don’t feel great, we need to make sure you’re taking care of yourself. Do you want me to get Kuroo for you?” the taller male asked, his tone gentle as he looked down at his friend. The response he got in return wasn’t anything more than a shrug, but there was a longing look in Kei’s eyes at the mention of Kuroo. Lev frowned, but took that as an indication to do so. “What would you like for dinner?”

Again, there was a shrug, and Kei looked down at his hands. Even when he was in warm clothes, clothes he knew were Tetsurou’s, he just felt so cold. Nothing seemed appealing to him at the moment, even strawberries or strawberry shortcake. Kei was exhausted, but the prospect of sleeping caused a pit of fear to open up deep in his chest. He felt so weak, but the knowledge that in a week he would be in his parents house, and far away from any semblance of care, that scared him more than he wanted to admit. He’d already admitted so much, taken up so much of people’s time that day, been such a bother. That was how he felt, and he didn’t know how to rid himself of these feelings even when people were more than happy to help him out and wanted to help him. 

And the idea of seeing Tetsurou, that made him feel a mixture of things. There was a warmth and safety he had associated with the older male, but knowing that it would be taking him away from his parents and his house and making his evening sad — that made him more than reluctant to bother him. That was why he didn’t give Lev a proper answer, because that way he didn’t feel like he was making the decision to bother his boyfriend. It felt so ridiculous, that others had to fix his problems and help him, over things that he’d never wanted to share. Bringing them so deep into his mess, making them stressed and upset because he was too, Kei just saw everything as a reason they might leave him.

“Kei?”

The blond flinched in his seat when he heard Lev, having zoned out somewhat and not having answered for a few minutes. “Right, sorry, you were asking about dinner?” he asked quietly, biting his lip and tugging on the sleeves of his hoodie so that they covered his hands. “I don’t really mind, just something warm.”

Lev smiled sadly and sat back down beside him, shaking his head. “There’s no need to be sorry, and I’ll get something warm sorted out for dinner. I was just wanting to let you know that Kuroo is going to be here in a moment. So, don’t you worry about anything, m’kay?”

Kei nodded in understanding and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. “Mhm,” he grunted, chewing on his bottom lip lightly. The room felt cold, but he didn’t want to make the half-Russian have to get up again to get him a blanket or turn on the heating. There was something about the chill that Kei knew wasn’t just a result of the room temperature, too. He felt cold deep inside, like a part of him was empty, that had always been. Being devoid of parental love his whole life, only now was he beginning to recognise how he felt, and realise why he felt such coldness in his heart.

The knocking on the door wasn’t too long after, and Lev got up to answer it. Kei didn’t make any effort to move, vaguely aware of the voices and footsteps, but not quite responding. He knew that Kuroo was there, but wasn’t quite sure how he would face the other male, how he was even going to be able to begin to explain what was going on. Kei just wanted to forget, even now, he just wanted to push everything away and pretend life was good. But pretending wouldn’t get him anywhere, and hiding things would only make it more difficult.

His boyfriend was right there waiting for him, but it was all too hard, and Kei wasn’t coping. In the past, it wasn’t very often that Kei had let people in. Now, though, he was doing that all too frequently and the very fact began to cause an onslaught of fear to begin rushing into the coldness of the void in his heart. He’d let things out all too much that day, and it hadn’t gotten him anywhere — just a sobbing, shaking mess. There was that sense of helplessness that the blond knew all too well; it was suffocating and all encompassing, washing over him until everything just felt numb and it created disconnect between his mind and reality. 

x-X-x

Kuroo had not long finished having dinner when he received a text from Lev, asking him to come over. ‘It’s about Tsukki’, the message had said, and those three words were all it took for him to come sprinting out the door and down the staircase without another word. 

Once again that day, there was no knowing what to expect when he reached. It could be anything, but considering the events of that morning and the previous night he doubted that it would be good news. Tetsurou knew that Kei had been struggling — such as the way the younger had been upset before Kuroo put on the movie, and had fallen asleep not long after — but wasn’t sure what could have triggered something now. Considering his boyfriend’s parents tendency to be total arseholes, it could have been anything. 

Lev was at the door, and had opened it after the first knock. The taller male looked worried, and didn’t have to wait for Kuroo to ask what was wrong. “His parents came and left a letter while he was out at your place,” he said softly. Tetsurou’s heart clenched painfully when he heard this, a feeling of anger bubbling up in the pit of his stomach, but he stayed silent for the moment. “They claimed that they cared for and understood him, that he wasn’t really gay and they knew he had lied to get out of the marriage. I doubt they’re that dense and I don’t think they care, so either they’re in denial or something a lot worse is going on. There’s something else though, Kuroo, they…”

“They want to take him away, don’t they?” Tetsurou interjected, his voice a mixture of anger and hurt as he stepped inside and closed the door behind him, careful not to slam it as he turned around and met eyes with Lev, who nodded ever so slightly.

The male’s green eyes were unusually serious, and watching him carefully, like a silent plea not to get angry or upset. They couldn’t afford to, not right now. “They aren’t taking him from Nekoma and as far as I know he can still play on the team, but they want him to move to their house. They’re not letting him go to see Akiteru and Yamaguchi either, but I’m guessing that’s not the worst of it.”

It took the dark haired male a good few moments to process everything, that little pit of hatred inside starting to grow as the possibilities of what could happen surfaced. The bruise on Kei’s cheek, the way the blond had looked earlier in the day when he was breaking down in Tetsurou’s arms; those were things Kuroo was terrified would become frequent. And if the only time they had together was at school, he was afraid of what would happen if the blond tried to bottle things in or hide it. 

Without saying another word, Tetsurou headed into the living room, his breath catching and heart clenching as his eyes landed on Kei, and in mere moments Tetsurou was pulling him into an embrace. There was no response, no return to the hugs and no reaction to the murmurings of ‘I love you’ and the whispers of his name. Just shaking and sobbing, and a terrified expression that made Kuroo ache and fear, both now and for the future.

There wasn’t much that he could do apart from just be there and hold him close, and if this was what was happening now, Tetsurou didn’t want to imagine what would happen if Kei actually had to live with his parents. It was difficult, and it took Kuroo everything not to break down himself, longing for some sort of reaction or sign. 

When Kei had finally calmed down who knows how long later, Lev had finished making some soup and brought a bowl over, one that the half Russian ended up eating after they both came to terms with the fact that the blond wasn’t going to. Even when the shaking and tears were long gone, Tetsurou struggled to get much of a reaction from his boyfriend, only a couple of dull hums when he had been lifted onto the raven’s lap. The blond had looked up, as if he hadn’t known where he was, and for a moment their eyes met. There was a distant look in those honey brown, tear stained eyes, a look that broke him to see. Even as he rested his head on Tetsurou’s chest, it was like Kei wasn’t Kei anymore, and Kuroo didn’t want to let him go.

“You should probably get some rest, Lev. We all need it, it’s been a very long day,” he eventually said, glancing at the silver haired male who was sitting beside them, watching some show on the television that wasn’t really a show, but one of those thirty minute long commercials for a useless product nobody would buy or use. “I can look after him from here on out.”

Lev took a moment to respond, glancing over a few moments later. He seemed hesitant, as if he was afraid to let the blond out of his sight, and took a bit to look over Kei before slowly nodding. “You both need each other at the moment.”

“Come over in the morning before school, we’ll have breakfast waiting for you,” Kuroo said, scooping the blond up into his arms and holding him close. The ‘let me know if something else comes up’ went unsaid as Lev met eyes with him once more, standing and walking beside them as Tetsurou walked towards the door. The older teen was quick to exit once the taller opened it for him, but was also quick to look back and give him a tired smile. “And Lev? Thank you, for everything.”

x-X-x

The time between when Kuroo had arrived and the early hours of the next morning was a blur to Kei. He wasn’t able to remember much of the hours that passed, only remnants of hushed whispers, the beating of hearts, and an embrace so warm and loving that it could only belong to one person.

When he woke, there was no light peeking in through the curtains of what Kei soon recognised was Kuroo’s room, but in the darkness there was a strange sense of peace. It was the sort that wasn’t exactly kind, nor cruel, but just a dull calmness and tranquility that wasn’t empty nor cold as he’d felt before. 

Tetsurou’s arms were wrapped tightly around him, holding him close in a way that seemed more like the older was clinging to him than the other way round. It was too early to be awake, whatever time it was, but Kei didn’t really care. All that mattered was that he and Kuroo were both safe, and he could spend this time with his boyfriend. God only knew how much of that time they would have left together like this, away from prying eyes. 

It wasn’t long before Kei curled closer, lightly tracing shapes on Tetsurou’s chest as he listened to his heartbeat, slowly drifting off to sleep once more, knowing that this was only the calm before the storm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly I don’t know where I’m going with this book but all I know is it’s gonna be angsty in future. Slow updates cuz I’ve had writers block but hopefully I’ll be able to write more in the future!
> 
> Hope you enjoyed the chapter tho!


	17. Choices

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, not sorry B:|

When Kei woke once more, it was to an alarm going off on the other side of the room. He found himself still held close in Tetsurou’s arms, but not for long as the older male groaned and made his way out of the bed to turn off the alarm. Sitting up and looking at the clock, Kei noted the time — five forty five — before looking back over at his boyfriend. By the time he did so, the raven had already walked back over, slipping into the bed and wrapping his arms tightly around him.

The blond didn’t hesitate to hug back, burying his head in the crook of Tetsurou’s neck and nuzzling him gently. “Morning, Tetsu,” Kei murmured, yawning quietly and lightly messing with the other’s hair with one of his hands. It felt soft to the touch, and feeling how Kuroo leaned into the touch made him feel warm on the inside. He was trying his best to push away the thoughts of what was to come, and just enjoy the present moments.

“Kei,” Tetsurou mumbled. His breath was shaky as he exhaled, still clinging on to the taller and pressing feather-soft kisses into his hair. “Are you feeling alright? You really scared me there yesterday.”

Taking a deep breath, Kei pulled away, his eyes finding Tetsurou’s as he nodded slowly. “I think so… I should be alright today, now that I’ve let most of it all out. Just, thank you for being there, for being here. I know you care, but it’s reassuring knowing that you came when I needed you,” he whispered, moving his hand to hold the raven’s and intertwining their fingers. “You came, even when it wasn’t easy.”

In return, Kuroo gently squeezed his hand, his other one moving to cup Kei’s cheek. “Of course, firefly. I love you, and as your boyfriend I’m more than happy to look after you.” There was a momentary silence, in which their lips met for a brief moment, before Kuroo sighed and bit his lip. “I was really scared, to be honest with you. You were there, but you weren’t, and nothing I did seemed to help. I didn’t know what to do, I thought I was going to lose you and-”

“Tetsurou, it’s okay. I don’t quite know what happened, if I’m honest. At first, I was angry and frustrated, which turned into feeling upset, and then I just felt numb until that numbness morphed into fear and I just, I just broke down. I don’t really remember much after that. But the reality is, it’s over now, and I’m going to be alright. Even if I have to move back with them, we’ll be alright. It might just be hard for a little while, okay?”

Kuroo seemed hesitant, but nodded, leaning in to press a soft kiss to his cheek. “Okay, Kei. We should probably talk about this more later, but I need to know his one thing. Promise me you’ll talk to me, that you’ll tell me if things are going badly or you’re finding it hard? Even if it’s hard for me to take, I want to be there for you, even when it’s not easy. I know you’re strong, and you’ve looked after yourself for a long time, but we’re stronger together,” he whispered, lightly nuzzling his nose over the place where he’d kissed Kei’s cheek. “I love you, dearest.”

For a while, there was silence, but words didn’t need to be exchanged right away. The younger male leaned in, catching Tetsurou’s lips in a gentle kiss, eyes sharing countless feelings in mere moments. It seemed like forever that they shared that simple intimacy, but when they pulled away both knew it really wasn’t that long at all. Kei gave him a small smile, lightly ruffling Kuroo’s hair as he spoke. “I promise I’ll tell you if something happens, my angel. I love you too.”

Maybe it wasn’t much, but those few words had clearly helped. The blond watched as his boyfriend calmed, a genuine and warm smile making its way onto his face as he once again brought their lips together, bringing him into that warm embrace. “Thank you, Kei,” he murmured between soft and slow kisses, eventually just resting their foreheads against one another.

The time to have breakfast and get ready for morning training was far too soon, the knock on the bedroom door by one of Kuroo’s mothers startling the both of them. Even as they got up, Tetsurou wearing a bright smile, Kei worried that his boyfriend was far too kind for his own good. Tsukishima was still afraid, and even despite the promise he’d made, whether he could keep it was a different story.

Lev came in not long after, tacking Kei into a hug, and those thoughts were easily buried deep down (like so many others over there years), but that pit of guilt had already begun to open. He was all too good at making bad, irrational decisions, and more than anything, Kei was scared of hurting the one person who was caring enough to love him even when he was carrying the burden of countless issues.

x-X-x

Breakfast was nice, as was the usual walk together to school. Although only for a little bit, Kuroo had taken his hand, lacing their fingers and lightly swinging their arms. Kei was somewhat taken aback by the gesture at first, before his expression softened and he walked just that little bit closer to the older teen, not making any attempt to take his hand back. He was on edge, and there was no other way to describe it. Not only was there the weight of the letter on the back of his mind, the thought of facing the team after having ruined the practice game with his own issues was daunting. More than that, despite the bruise on his cheek having been covered up by makeup (courtesy of Lev’s gentle magic), that didn’t erase the knowledge from his mind that it was there.

Coming to school gave him a strange sense of confidence, though. At least there, he could work on being strong again. He couldn’t allow himself to let down his guard around everyone like he had done so many times over the past few days, especially when he would have to face his parents eventually. Kuroo had said he’d get in contact with the Akaashi’s, and had sent them a message already, but that didn’t guarantee that they would be able to keep Kei away from his parents. Neither Lev nor Kuroo wanted him to be so far away, but they also knew there probably wasn’t anything they could do to change the situation. 

The Tsukishima’s had legal custody over Kei, and since they hadn’t done anything illegal, there was nothing they could use to try and stop what was going to happen. Mulling over it only made things worse; considering they had disowned Kei and claimed he wasn’t their son, it made no sense why they would want him to return to their house, or put up the facade that they still cared — particularly Kei’s father, who hated him the most. And so, the blond did his best to push those things to the back of his mind, instead enjoying the time that he had with Lev and Kuroo and the rest of the team throughout the week.

If there was anything he’d learnt, Kuroo Tetsurou could always get sweeter. Well, anyone in the Kuroo family, really. After Tetsurou explained the full situation to them (with Kei’s consent), they had let him and sometimes Lev stay over every night that week, making him meals and treating him as part of the family. The blond didn’t take long to figure out that they’d probably be this welcoming even if he hadn’t been in this situation, but that they were so understanding was a welcome change. 

The Akaashi’s also kept in touch, but there wasn’t a chance to meet up with them during the week. As expected, there wasn’t anything that they could do to prevent Kei from being moved to the Tsukishima’s household, not at the moment at least. The way they’d phrased that made Kei a little wary of them — as if they were working on something behind the scenes that they didn’t want any of the teens to know about. Still, the kindness they’d shown the blond was enough cause for him to push that feeling aside until there was reason enough for his suspicions to be aroused. 

Keiji and Bokuto had taken to texting Kei as well, asking him how his day was going and talking about things in general like books, movies and tv shows the blond liked. It was a friendship that seemed to blossom rather quickly, and often they all video chatted on the walk home, Lev getting to know them a bit better as well.

The week seemed to pass much quicker than Kei would have liked. Than any of them would have liked, really, but that wasn’t the point. Throughout the school work, volleyball practice and packing (including stashing away his few most important belongings in an empty drawer in Tetsurou’s room so his parents couldn’t destroy them), the days went by in a blur. 

Most memorable were the nights he’d spend curled up next to Kuroo, who would run his hands through Kei’s hair and whisper how much he loved him, exchanging tender kisses as much as they could afford to. It was difficult to be open about their relationship at school, and if the team knew—by the small smiles they exchanged over the net in three on three matches and the way they sat just a little bit too close at lunch and too many inaudible words were exchanged—nobody made a big deal of it. (Excluding Yaku, of course, who Kuroo had told proudly when they got to the club room one morning and nobody else was there. He’d kicked Kuroo on the back of the leg—well practiced because of Lev—and was annoyed that the raven had gotten a second boyfriend before he had, but there was a lack of true malice or annoyance in his tone. After breaking up, they had still remained close friends with each other, and the libero was glad to see Tetsurou so happy, knowing they had both found people that they liked now.)

Even so, there was something peaceful about being a part of Nekoma. Training wasn’t easy work, but Kuroo made sure he wasn’t pushing himself too hard and wouldn’t get sick again after what happened the previous week. Yaku did some work on receives with him and Lev, and despite the fact that they all had an end goal to work towards, practice was fun. It was more fun than it had ever seemed to be before, and Kei’s appreciation for it didn’t go unnoticed with even Taketora commenting on how he seemed more relaxed and less cold than usual.

Even for Saturday practice, Kei was unusually excited, out of bed as soon as the alarm went off and walking a little bit faster than usual on the way to the gym after they had breakfast. His excitement wasn’t obvious like Lev’s or Taketora’s, but it was there, and Kei didn’t protest too much when Tetsurou had said he was cute and gave him a kiss on their walk to the gym. Saturday was a good day, even despite the reservations about the next day that the blond buried deep inside until it was late and he was trying to sleep.

x-X-x

Waking up in Tetsurou’s arms on Sunday morning hurt more than Kei wanted to admit. After spending so much time in his presence, every chance he had, going away would be hard. On a futon on the floor, Lev was fast asleep, limbs sprawled out in some strange manner that he wasn’t going to question. Like usual, he was awake before Kuroo was, the light from outside dull and a bluish shade of grey. It was probably early, and as he carefully slipped out of his boyfriend’s embrace, the numbers on the clock beside to bed confirmed his suspicions.

Even as he left the room, closing the door behind him, Tetsurou and Lev were both still fast asleep. They were peaceful that way, in a home where they belonged. Kei knew he belonged there too, but his life had never been one to let him keep his happiness, and he knew he couldn’t leave if he had to see the looks on Tetsurou and Lev’s faces. It might not be a permanent goodbye—he might end up seeing them the next day at morning practice—but on the occasion that it was, he didn’t know how he could possibly force himself to leave when his parents came to pick him up. He’d just want to stay in Tetsurou’s arms, and watching them both from the window of the car as they drove off didn’t seem very appealing.

Taking his phone from where it was on charge in the kitchen, he sent a message to his ‘parents’ asking to be picked up early. More specifically his father, who Kei knew woke up in the early hours of the morning in order to start working. It was stupid, and exactly what he’d been worried about doing. He knew it would hurt them both to leave like this, but he was scared and didn’t want them to have to see him crying once again. His stuff was already packed and in boxes in what had been his apartment, and could be collected by workers later on in the day. 

The message in response was short—stating that someone would be there in half an hour to collect him. With a sigh, Kei turned his phone on silent, slipping it in his pocket and returning to the bedroom to slip under the covers again. In his sleep, Kuroo shifted to cling to him, as he’d made a habit of in the past few days. Tetsurou was quite cuddly, and even if he was fast asleep by the time the blond made his way over from doing homework and into bed, somehow he always ended up cuddled up to him in a matter of seconds. It was endearing, and it was another thing that made Kuroo feel like home to him.

He didn’t want to leave, it was the last thing he wanted to do. And it was an irrational choice, like usual, but Kei was scared, like usual, and leaving before either of them woke seemed like the only way. 

As he got up the second time, Kei didn’t fail to notice the way that the other’s breath shifted slightly. His breath caught in his throat as he turned to face Tetsurou, the male looking up at him sleepily. “Kei-Kei, do you need to go to the bathroom?” he mumbled, whining softly as he attempted and failed to reach out to pull Kei back into bed. “I need more cuddles with my firefly, it’s so cold without you.”

“Mhm, I just need to go to the bathroom, my Angel,” Kei lied gently, sighing softly and sitting back down on the edge of the bed. “I know that you don’t want me to go, I’m just as cold without you by my side too. But I’ll be right back before you know it, Tet-kun.”

It was only a small lie, he was sure he’d be back to see Tetsurou soon enough; but that didn’t stop the guilt from rising up and clawing at his chest painfully. Even in the darkness, the world around him still seemed to blur as his vision filled with tears he’d refuse to shed. If his voice sounded strained, in his grogginess Tetsurou probably hadn’t realised, and only nodded in agreement. 

“M’kay, I’ll go back to sleep. But only if you give me a kiss,” the raven said softly, reaching up to cup Kei’s cheek and smiling softly at him. 

Kei’s heart clenched painfully, and with a nod, he leaned in to press a kiss to Tetsurou’s lips. It was long, much longer than the older teen probably expected, but if this was their last kiss for a long time, he wanted to make it count. 

It was a kiss that left his lips tingling, the softness of Kuroo’s lips against his own still engraved in his memory. As Tetsurou’s hand fell down from his cheek and he yawned, Kei lightly ruffled his hair once more, leaning down to whisper in his ear. “I love you, Tetsurou, don’t you ever forget that. Sweet dreams.”

There wasn’t a response, and as the male’s breathing had evened out, Kei figured that Kuroo had fallen asleep. Perhaps if he’d stayed a moment, he would have heard that steady breathing shift into broken down sobs. Perhaps if he’d kissed him for a little longer, Kei would have felt the hot tears that had begun to fall down Tetsurou’s face and known he wasn’t the only one who knew what was going on. 

In the early hours of the morning, Kei silently slipped out the house. He was calm, refraining from breaking down with the knowledge that his father would be in complete control when he stepped out of the car. In contrast, Tetsurou was a storm, unleashing his hurt in loud sobs and streams of tears like he’d never experienced before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: looks at the 70k+ word count  
> Also me: looks at everything I have planned for the rest of the fic, the 8+ one shots and 5 other full fics that I have planned out, all wrapped up in a massive case of writers block
> 
> What I’m trying to say is that I have a lot of content planned, but it might come a bit slowly. I hope that you guys have been enjoying the last few chapters! (Please be prepared for the angst that I may or may not end up adding to this fic). 
> 
> Thank you all for reading, ilysm 🥺 Any comments are greatly appreciated 👉👈


	18. Of Family, and real Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kei goes ‘home’, and Akiteru finally meets Kuroo (but not under the best circumstances).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw - mild abusive behaviour

Stepping out of the car, the sun was only just beginning to rise. The day was nice, the warmth of the sun cutting through the crispness of the morning air. It was nothing compared to Tetsurou’s warmth, of course, and already he longed for the other male. Not having glanced at his phone the entire trip in fear of what he might find, Kei pulled it out, only to be greeted with nothing.

It hurt that there was nothing, even if he knew Kuroo was probably just asleep. It was early, after all, and Kei supposed he only had himself to blame for feeling this way. With a sigh, he powered down his phone completely, slipping it back into his pocket. This way, his parents couldn’t take a subtle glance at it if he did get a message, or question him about anyone who tried to contact him. The last thing he wanted was for anything to happen to his friends at Nekoma, for anything to happen to Kuroo. “What a stupid excuse, Kei,” he muttered bitterly to himself, shaking his head.

If he thought about it, the blond knew that if he really wanted to care for them all, he wouldn’t have left without another word. The guilt was a weight in his chest that Kei doubted he was going to be able to bear on top of everything else that was going to happen. When it came to his parents, there was no telling what the future held.

Deciding to bury those feelings deep down into his chest, he made his way to the front door of the estate. It was much too grandiose for his liking, more like a fancy hotel than a home. Home was with his boyfriend, one that he’d left before he needed to. It took all of his effort to try not to be reminded of the way Tetsurou said his name, smooth and sweet and loving.

Shaking his head, he knocked harshly on the door, the pain on his knuckles against the heavy wood not unwelcome as he remembered that they could have shared another few hours together, making breakfast and cuddling. He was the one that caused all of this pain (both to himself, and to Tetsurou, when the other male woke up and found him gone, and unresponsive to any texts), and he didn’t want to forget that he was the one to blame. Even despite his fears and worries, that was no excuse for what he’d done, and Kei knew he shouldn’t deserve to be forgiven.

He didn’t have the luxury to ponder over such things, not that he deserved it, and the blond’s regrets and guilt were also buried down as the door opened and he was greeted by his father. “Get inside, Kei-chan,” Tsukishima Mazuko ordered, his voice level and expectant. “There is a lot that we have to discuss in regards to your future.”

He wasn’t surprised that there were no hints or any specific details given to him at the moment, but that meant there were a lot of potential outcomes to the situation. Yet, as he entered, what bothered the most about what the man had said was the way that Mazuko said his name; it made Kei feel sick to his stomach. It was nothing like the loving way that Tetsurou and Lev used it, and for a moment the memory of their voices echoed in the depths of his heart, loving and kind, contrary to the grating and venomous tone used by the older man. 

The day hadn’t even really begun, but he missed his boyfriend, two best friends and brother more than anything. Kei missed his family. There was no way in hell Mazuko would ever be his family.

Taking a few steps inside, he took in the state of the house, anger beginning to simmer at the sight of it. The floors were an expensive hardwood, shelves holding expensive trinkets and paintings illuminated by the chandelier hanging from the high ceilings. It wasn’t a traditional Japanese house at all, but one specifically bought to demonstrate the wealth the Tsukishima family had. 

Just standing in such a place disgusted the blond, but the Tsukishima family were putrid, toxic people, so it wasn’t surprising what they prioritised in life. Maybe his parents viewed Akiteru as a disappointment, but Kei was more grateful than ever that his brother hadn’t turned out the same way they had.

Mazuko closed the door behind him, locking it with a click. The room was silent, and Kei made no attempt to change that as the man moved to grasp Kei’s wrist tightly and pressed him against the wall beside the door. The blond didn’t fight it, meeting his gaze icily. “What do you want, Otou-sama,” Kei said monotonously, determined not to bow to his father’s will so soon even despite the murderous intent the man was sending him. 

The grip on his wrist tightened, but the pain was bearable, and he doubted Mazuko would want it to bruise badly and risk everything crumbling to pieces if someone found out.

“That’s Mazuko-sama or Sir to you. I meant what I said that day, you are not my son. Though your mother might have had the heart to give you a second chance in case you were bluffing, I couldn’t care less about you.” His voice was deep, his eyes dark with hatred, and just like at the dinner party, Kei wasn’t going to let himself be scared. Unlike at the dinner party, he would not let the pain or cruelty cause him to break his strength. 

Kei couldn’t tremble or shudder, or that man was going to take advantage of his weakness. Not even taking a breath to calm himself, the teen simply nodded, careful to keep his emotionless facade. “Mazuko-sama... What is it that you wanted me here for, if I may ask, sir?”

“You’re learning, I see. Consider this my mercy, Kei-chan.” His father nodded shortly, pulling away from him, but keeping his eyes locked on Kei. The smell of alcohol and smoke still lingered from Mazuko’s breath, but after all the years he’d known him, it wasn’t an unfamiliar scent to the blond. “We both know that you’re worthless and you aren’t my son, but god knows what would happen if the world found that out. Despite the fact that you’re an ungrateful brat, I’ve decided to be kind to you.”

He resisted the urge to scoff when he heard that, keeping as composed as possible. How whatever his father had planned for him could possibly be kind, Kei couldn’t fathom. It was unusual for Mazuko to be so upfront with him about the situation, though. Usually, he would withhold information and use it against Kei for his own purposes. 

When he didn’t speak, Mazoku continued, his own anger more visible as he maintained eye contact with him. “You should thank your brother, really, because if I had my way you’d be working here as a houseworker, away from that stupid school of yours. But, he just had to interfere, coming here and practically begging us to let you live with him, and out of the kindness of my own heart, I decided to agree to his pleas. Akiteru-chan will be here in a few hours to come and pick you up, but in the meantime, there are a few things that I need to teach you, just like I taught him before he left home all those years ago.”

Mazuko took a step forward, his lips curling into a cruel smirk as his hand reached up to cup Kei’s cheek, lightly stroking over the bruise he’d left there the week before. “What happened at the dinner party, that was only the beginning.”

x-X-x

Not knowing how to look after him, Lev had gone to get Kenma. Kuroo was grateful that the silver haired male at least had the sense to do that, because there weren’t very many people that he was willing to show his vulnerable side to. Kei was gone, that was the reality of it, and he didn’t know when the next time they’d see each other would be. It could be weeks, months, or even years for all he knew, and the thought of that hurt. 

Tetsurou knew that Kei was going through a lot, and that he was trying his best to open up and not to hold it in. He doubted that the blond had been trying to hurt him, but that didn’t mean it hurt any less. More than anything, however, Kuroo was worried about the state that he would be in when they saw each other again. From everything Kei had told him, his father (Mazuko, the name couldn’t be more fitting) was a cruel man, and he didn’t care in the slightest. It had been hard enough seeing the emotional damage that his boyfriend had accumulated over the years, and there was no telling what could happen in the space of a few hours.

None of those thoughts were vocalised.

Instead, it was all spilling out in constant sobs and tears; Tetsurou had never cried like this before, and it was hard. Every breath was difficult, an attempt to take in some air between the cries that never seemed to end. Briefly, he remembered when Kei had cried like this at Lev’s the previous Sunday. 

Kei wasn’t here now, when he needed him most. As much as he’d tried his best to stay strong, he knew all of the things that the younger teen was going through was taking a toll on him as well. “Why?” he whimpered, glancing over at Kenma who was sitting beside him, lightly rubbing his back in an attempt to comfort him.

“How should I know?” Kenma replied, shrugging a little and letting out a sigh. “But just sitting here crying isn’t going to change anything. The only way you’re going to find out why he did what he did is if he tells you, and he won’t be able to tell you anything if you’ve given up hope already. Look, I don’t know any of the details about him and his family, but I do know he’s trusted you enough to tell you as much as he has. Even from the beginning, he’s tried to open up to you more than anyone else aside from maybe Lev, and if he left, he probably had a reason. At least at the time, it might have made sense to him, anyways.”

Looking down, Kuroo sniffled a little more, trying to take deep breaths until he wasn’t as overwhelmed with tears. “I don’t want to see him hurt again, Kenma,” he admitted, biting his lips and looking down. “I know I can’t always protect him, but I feel like I’ve barely been able to do anything. I should have tried to stop him, I had a feeling he wasn’t just going to the bathroom, but I let him go anyways.”

“You were trying to trust him, Kuroo. Nobody can blame you for giving him the benefit of the doubt, and don’t think for a second that any of this is your fault. You have done nothing but be there for him this entire time, and there is nothing more you could have done.”

By the look in his eyes, Kuroo knew that his friend still had more he wanted to say, but just as Kenma was about to continue, there was a knock on the door. “Come in,” the raven called out, looking up as Lev opened the door. Behind him, there was another male who looked to be in his mid twenties. Kuroo had never officially met or talked to him, but he knew from the pictures he’d seen that this was Akiteru.

Slipping out of bed and wiping his eyes, Tetsurou made his way over, offering out his hand for Akiteru to shake. “Uh, hi… I’m Kuroo. Kuroo Tetsurou. It’s nice to meet you, Akiteru-san. If you don’t mind me asking, what are you doing here? It’s six thirty in the morning.”

“Just Akiteru is fine, there’s no need for honourifics with me. I know all about you, Kuroo. Kei’s told me all about you, of course, and it’s good to finally meet the guy that my little brother is so smitten with,” Akiteru said, smiling kindly and shaking his hand. “I’m sorry to barge in so early, and as much as I’d love to explain everything and get to know you a little better, there probably isn’t much time for that.”

Hearing that, the raven frowned, stiffening a little. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Kuroo asked slowly, his heart beginning to race as Akiteru sighed, looking away from him.

“It means that Kei shouldn’t have been at their house until ten o’clock, and if we’re going to get him out of there, it’s best we go sooner rather than later. We both know that he isn’t safe there, but I really don’t want the same thing that happened to me to happen to him. If you want to come with me, I can explain everything in the car.”

Tetsurou didn’t hesitate to agree.


	19. Funhouse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw - Homophobia, derogatory terms, extremely loosely implied rape (ONLY IF YOU SQUINT, just put the tw for in case)
> 
> But there’s a but load of fluff at the end and it’s not as angsty as it seems, I promise

Walking out of his room, having changed and put on shoes and socks, Tetsurou wasn’t exactly surprised to find himself face to face with his mothers. What he was surprised to find, was the pair of them conversing quietly to Akiteru, a dark look in their eyes. It was more than clear that they weren’t happy, but they were quick to look over to him and give him a small smile when he entered the room.

Ichika let out a long sigh, walking over to him and placing a hand on his shoulder. Her expression was determined, yet there was a deep sadness in her eyes, one that was deep rooted. Tetsurou couldn’t help but wrap his arms around her, relaxing into the embrace as his mother stroked his hair with one hand, and hugged him back with the other.

“Tetsurou, I know you’re worried, and I know this is scary,” she whispered, her voice soft and more hesitant than he’d ever heard it. Usually, she was always so strong willed and bright, and seeing her like this caused his chest to ache more. “Your mother and I, both of us would move mountains if it meant you would be safe and happy. We’ve never wanted to see you get into fights, or have to face hardships because of the person you love. It’s not something I like sharing about, but you know how bad things were for people like us, and my mother didn’t make it easy on me.”

The thought of that only made Tetsurou hurt more, and he found himself pulling his mother closer as if to remind himself that she was safe, and she was right here with him. “Kaa-chan…”

“Shh, Tetsu, it’s okay. I’m not going anywhere, not now, and not ever. But, what I want you to understand is that I know what it’s like to be raised by people that don’t love you, and who want to make you suffer for who you are. I’ve felt the damage that it can do to you long term, and in that regard, I see some of myself in Kei-kun. But unlike me, he has a chance to get away from them, for good. When he does, I know he’s going to need you by his side, and that’s why I’m letting you go to him now. But you have to promise me not to hurt anyone aside from in defence of yourself, or him, okay?”

Slowly, Kuroo pulled away, giving Ichika a small smile and nodding. “I promise, Kaa-chan. I love you,” he said softly, pressing a gentle kiss to her cheek, before going and doing the same to Akari. “Thank you, for letting me do this.”

Akari nodded, lightly ruffling his hair and giving him a worried smile. “You love him, we both know that, Tetsu. Bring him back safely, okay?”

“Yeah, I will.” With that, Tetsurou turned to Akiteru, giving him a nod to indicate that he was ready. The older male looked to be getting antsy, his shoulders stiff despite the fact that he was fidgeting with his fingers. The habit was eerily similar to Kei’s, and the thought of seeing his boyfriend again and holding him close was more than enough motivation to increase the pace of his strides towards the door. “Let’s go. We’ll be back soon, Lev, Kenma.”

x-X-x

Mazuko’s gaze didn’t falter the entirety of the time he was with Kei. His eyes were dark and cruel, the intensity of the hatred the man felt unable to be contained in his expression. Kei was almost glad for it; it was easier to bear the hatred than it was the false attempts at kindness.

It hadn’t taken very long for his phone to be taken from him, and for him to be led to a guest bedroom. He was told to wait inside, the door promptly locked from the outside as Mazuko exited. The room was plain and dull, with the only things inside of it being a large bed, and a large cabinet placed in front of the only window in the room, so it was almost pitch black. There was a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, and Kei hoped that this wasn’t going to be what he thought it was.

Remembering that earlier, Mazuko had called him ‘Kei-chan’, he wasn’t so sure hope was going to be enough. 

Clearly, as past experience would indicate, his father was one fucked up bastard, and Kei hadn’t even begun to see the worst of it. Even wondering what would happen made him feel sick, his hands beginning to shake at the ideas that surfaced in his mind. Kei didn’t like submitting to his father’s demands, he didn’t like having his weaknesses on display, but when he remembered his father’s claim that he’d done something like this to Akiteru, it made him afraid, almost enough to comply. Almost; another part of him really wanted to punch his father and make him shut his stupid mouth.

He spent a long time in that room, a good forty five minutes at least, not quite sure as to what would happen when the door opened. The smell of smoke and alcohol still lingered in the room—just like his father—along with the stench of cheap perfume, so guessing the room’s usual purpose wasn’t too hard. Kei stayed far away from the bed, instead sitting in the corner of the room beside the door, trying his best to stay calm and think of a plan to get the hell out of there before anything happened.

He’d gotten to the house at around six am, so he was guessing it was probably six forty five now. If he managed to get to the street, chances are someone would be on a walk or a run, and they’d be able to protect him from whatever was going to happen next. There was a big ‘if’ in that scenario, though, and it meant getting past Mazuko.

As if he were the devil himself, said man entered the room once more, using an application on his phone to turn on the lighting. Kei had to blink to adjust to the sudden brightness, and once he had, his eyes fell on a woman standing outside the door. “Go wait in the living room, I need twenty minutes with him first,” Mazuko ordered, his voice quiet yet stern.

The woman was quick to do as told, and once she had gone, Mazuko entered, closing the door behind him. “It’s good to see you’re still here, Kei-chan. I’m sorry it took so long, but there were plenty of things to prepare for you. I wasn’t expecting to have the chance to educate you, because the plan was originally to just change you to be under Akiteru’s custody. All that needs to happen is for the papers to be signed, and then I won’t have to see your disgusting face ever again,” he said, grinning cruelly as he gestured for Kei to stand up.

The blond did as told, his heart rate quickening as he watched Mazuko press a button on his phone, and the door to the room locked. It made things infinitely harder; he should have tried to run when he had the chance. 

His reaction didn’t seem to hinder Mazuko’s confidence, the man smirking and taking a step towards Kei. “I wonder if it’s possible to make sure you’ll never want to be with a man again, even when I’m not there to stop you? Kuroo Tetsurou, that’s his name, right?” the man drawled, letting out a quiet chuckle as he watched the blond’s eyes widen. 

Kei froze at hearing that, slowly turning to be looking towards Mazuko, who was smirking. “It wasn’t hard to figure that one out, Kei-chan. From talking to your coach about your progress, it was easy to deduce that it was between him or the Haiba kid, and I took a gamble as to who it was. By your reaction, it seems I was correct. Maybe you think you love him now, but soon you’ll realise that he’s just going to control you in the end. Just like me, he’ll hate you, but just like with me, you won’t be able to bring yourself to leave him. You’ll think that if you just try to be a bit better, if you were better behaved, if you could make him proud, that he’ll change. But once he turns cruel and cold, he won’t come back from that.”

Closing his eyes, Kei tried to remember that Tetsurou loved him already as he was, and all of the nights they’d spent curled up in each other’s arms, instead of the words coming out of his father’s mouth, and instead of the self loathing thoughts that threatened to overwhelm him. ‘But you left Tetsurou, Kei. What if he doesn’t love you anymore? What if he doesn’t want you anymore?’ 

Shaking his head, he rid himself of that thought. Tetsurou wasn’t like his father, he wasn’t cruel. Not once had he ever set standards on Kei, made him feel small, or tried to manipulate him. From the bottom of his soul, through and through, Kuroo was a good, kind person, and he loved Kei. That, he truly believed. With that in mind, he tried to focus on what Kuroo had said back in the room when they’d first confessed, when Kei was first at his most vulnerable. 

‘I love you so much, firefly, and I’ll tell you over and over again, for all eternity.’

That’s right, his Tet-kun had said that to him. Over and over, he was quick to remind the blond just how much he cared. For a moment, he could see Kuroo’s face so clearly in his mind, remember the kind and loving expression, and the gentle nature of his touch as he caressed his hair.

“He doesn’t really love you, Kei-chan. He’s only focused on what you can do for him. He’ll use you, take advantage of your love, and then get rid of you once he’s had enough. You don’t seriously expect him to stay with you forever, right?” 

The coldness of those words broke through that memory, and anger and rebellion began to bubble up. Kuroo had told him, he’d promised Kei. Kuroo wasn’t cruel, he was nothing like the man Mazuko was trying to convince him he was, Tetsurou wasn’t like that. ‘You never have to do anything for my love. I fell in love with you for you.’ His Tet-kun had said that, and Kei knew he’d meant that.

At his lack of reaction, Mazuko laughed bitterly, taking a step closer, so that Kei was backed against the wall. It took all he had to stop himself from kicking him back, from trying to escape, when he knew there was still so much time left under the man’s control. And so, Mazuko continued to speak, his words venomous, as if they were coated in poison. “Who would ever love someone like you, anyways? Your personality is so bitter, it’s a wonder you even have any friends at all. You’re so cold, nobody could ever be happy if they were in a relationship with you.”

‘Whether they’re big or small smiles, I love seeing you smile. Even more, I love the way you look when you’re really happy, because your eyes light up and it makes me want to be happy too.’ 

There had been far too many times when Kei had asked himself the same questions as Mazuko, wondering what Kuroo was doing with him. That also meant there had been many times when his boyfriend had told him just how much he cared, and just how happy he was to be with him. Mazuko was in control of the situation, but Kei knew he had to be strong for Kuroo, so he could thank him for all the times he’d been there in the past week, making him feel loved and special. 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Mazuko-sama,” Kei said calmly, clenching his fists and opening his eyes, meeting Mazuko’s gaze. “He’s happy with me, I know he is. I’ve seen it myself, the joy in his eyes when he looks at me.”

“Maybe, but wouldn’t he be happier with someone else? A pretty girl, closer to his age, who could have his children? You can never provide for him the same way a woman could. Just because you’re a man, you can never be the perfect partner. You’re weak. You’re untalented. You aren’t ever going to be good enough, and one day he’s going to leave you.” The man had seemed to find his confidence rather amusing, laughing as he cupped Kei’s cheek. The touch was cold and sweaty, hollow almost. The blond didn’t like it, but his main focus was to keep calm. When everything was over, he could go back to being in Kuroo’s arms, to that warmth and safety. 

‘Well, I happen to think that you’re beautiful just the way you are...You’re amazing, you’re beautiful, and I’m never going to leave you’ 

Tetsurou had assured him many times that he was perfect just the way he was. Even if he didn’t need to, he always liked telling it to Kei before they fell asleep, and in the morning, and any other time he couldn’t do so, his eyes told the whole story. Kei was his firefly, his moonshine, and Mazuko had no right to presume otherwise. 

“You’ve always known that I didn’t care about you, so I suppose this parting is easy enough for both of us. But when you realise he’s been cheating on you, when he leaves you for a beautiful woman who is going to provide for him for the rest of his life, it’s going to crush you. You’ll be moving to Miyagi later today, and it’s hours away from him. He could be cheating on you, and you’d never know. He won’t want to be with you, long distance relationships are hard, and he’s busy enough with his third year and volleyball. You’ll only bring him down, Kei, so just give up.”

His father’s words were stinging, and at the mention of moving away, they struck a chord in his heart. But they were words said without any proof or evidence, words that were said with the desire to hurt him. Maybe he would bring Kuroo down, or make things harder, but he refused to believe that until discussing everything with Kuroo. 

After he let Mazuko get under his skin and cause him so much pain, after feeling so weak and dependent on others, Kei was sick of it. Something else that Kuroo had said to him that day stuck in his mind, and it was giving him strength for the moment, strength to resist being compliant like he had every other time in his life. 

‘So please, let me love you, let me in, and I’ll make sure it all turns out good in the end’ Kei decided that he would trust in that. Tetsurou had never failed him before, and he believed that this would be no different. He was Tetsurou’s, and Tetsurou was his. Kei trusted in his boyfriend, and the promises they had made together. 

“You’re wrong.” Pain blossomed across his knuckles as the punch landed, but Kei didn’t care. Watching his father stumble back, and then proceed to storm out of the room in anger—that was satisfaction enough.

x-X-x

It was just past seven when Akiteru and Kuroo arrived at the estate, parking on the side of the road and exiting the car as soon as possible. Akiteru went up to the door first, knocking loudly on the door and awaiting an answer. Tetsurou failed to see how simply knocking and waiting was a good idea, but he supposed that the man knew what was best to do when it came to the Tsukishima’s. Kei’s biological parents didn’t seem to make any sense to him, and he didn’t want to make an attempt to understand people as twisted as them. 

He was still confused as to why they would make him go back to Miyagi now, of all times. Tetsurou was just glad that Kei would be safe there, even if it meant being far away from him, and far away from their team at Nekoma. Now wasn’t time to ponder on the future, though, not when the things right in front of them were so uncertain. 

Kuroo was a little surprised when the door opened almost immediately, the man at the door looking at the two of them coldly. “What are you doing here this early, Akiteru? And with that… thing… no less. We agreed that you would be here at 10, and that we would discuss things then,” Mazuko said, distaste in his voice as he glanced towards Kuroo. His bottom lip appeared to have been bleeding, but that didn’t seem to affect his demeanour at all.

“I thought it would be best to get things sorted out earlier, since it’s a long drive back down and I don’t want Kei to be tired before school. He has a big day tomorrow, after all. Tetsurou wanted to come along to pick Kei up, but he can always stay in the car if it means we can get this exchange done quicker,” Akiteru explained calmly, not backing away from his father, and gesturing for Kuroo to stay back.

It took Mazuko a few moments to think, before he nodded, gesturing for them to enter. “That filthy rat can come in, it doesn’t make much difference to me. I’ll go get the forms now. It really is a shame you came when you did, though. I was just about to have Hana-chan teach Kei-chan a few things, just like Mayumi-chan taught you all those years ago, Akiteru,” Mazuko muttered, glancing over at the woman and pulling out his phone to unlock the door Kei was in. “Maybe it’s better this way, though. Less potential for police involvement. Hana-chan, go and get ‘it’ from the room for me, please? I’m afraid your services and expertise aren’t needed, but I’ll pay you in full for your time once this is all done.”

The raven gritted his teeth when he watched the woman walk off, trying his best not to show any signs of aggression as Mazuko also began to head to a cabinet, pulling out a manilla folder out of one of the drawers. Akiteru had warned him not to do anything that might seem even vaguely threatening, but it was hard to keep his cool with what it was Mazuko had been implying he’d wanted to happen, and what he’d made happen to Akiteru.

“Do you have anything you want to say, rat?” Mazuko had turned around, his eyes trained on Kuroo as he walked back, sneer on his face. Tetsurou bit his tongue, fighting to keep in the insults he wanted to send, staying back so he was right at the door. “Don’t you stress, I didn’t hurt a single hair on that thing’s head. You should know, I didn’t hurt it once, it was the one that hit me first. If you really want that piece of shit, it’s yours.”

Seeing the way that Mazuko was acting, Kuroo became more and more worried. It wasn’t like Kei to actually be violent with someone, and he supposed that his boyfriend must have either been really agitated or felt unsafe if he’d lashed out. Still, Tetsurou knew better than to fall prey to the taunting, and simply stayed silent. For a minute or so, the room was devoid of any noise aside from the ticking of the clock, before there were footsteps from the hallway, and Hana returned. 

Kei was staying a good few metres behind her, standing stiffly and looking glaring over at Mazuko. Tetsurou was quick to notice the bruises on his knuckles, and the way that his hands were trembling as he fidgeted with them. The sight made him more than angry, but he held that in as he watched Kei enter the room. The blond didn’t spot him straight away, and instead continued to be glaring at Mazuko when he saw him. 

“So, you decided to be ‘kind’ to me again, huh?” His voice was angry, but even behind that, Tetsurou could tell that Kei was simply doing his best to stay strong. “I hope you liked the parting gift I gave you?”

Mazuko shrugged, a smirk making its way to his face, not even attempting to hide the hatred in his eyes. “Well, I suppose you could say that Akiteru came early, and with vermin. I didn’t want to be seen with vermin outside my home, and the quickest way to get rid of that vermin is to give it what it wants. Vermin carries disease, after all, and if I were to get sick by trying to withhold it’s garbage, that wouldn’t be good at all.”

The moment Mazuko had mentioned vermin, Kei’s eyes scanned across the room, not taking much time until they reached Kuroo. His glare fell, and though his expression softened, he seemed surprised to see Kuroo there. 

“Hana-chan, go wait in the other room. Now, Akiteru and I will get this sorted out. You, on the other hand,” he said to Kei, gaining the blond’s attention, “You run along to the rat there now, okay? I take back what I told you earlier, about you not being good enough. You belong with it, seeming as you’re a filthy piece of shit, and rats just love garbage.” 

“You’re right about one thing,” Kei scoffed, not taking his eyes off Mazuko as he made his way over to Tetsurou. Akiteru glanced at Kuroo, giving him a weak smile, before leaving the room with Mazuko.

As soon as they were alone, Kei’s demeanour changed immediately, dropping his guard and moving to be standing in front of the raven, looking down. “Tet-kun?” he said quietly, his voice barely audible even despite the quietness encompassing the rest of the room. 

“Firefly, I’m here now,” Tetsurou replied, his voice gentle as he opened his arms for the blond. Kei couldn’t bring himself to look up, but visibly relaxed when he heard the older teen’s voice. “I’m right here, my love. Everything is going to be alright, moonshine, I promise.”

Slowly, Kei lifted his head, meeting the gaze of his boyfriend. Kuroo had tears silently slipping down his face, but his expression was as loving and as tender as it had always been. “I love you, Tet-kun…” he whispered, not hesitating any longer and moving to wrap his arms tightly around the raven. His legs were shaking, and Kei quickly found himself relying on Kuroo to help him stand. “I’m sorry for leaving, for hurting you. I was scared of leaving you, of having to say goodbye, and I-”

“Shh, sweets, it’s alright. I forgive you, firefly, there’s no need to worry,” Tetsurou murmured lovingly, tenderly running his hands through the blond’s hair, and holding him close. Kei leaned into the embrace, taking in his scent and familiarising himself once more with Kuroo’s warmth. “I was scared too, we both were. And we do things we regret when we’re afraid, because it seems like the best course of option at the time. It hurt a lot, but most of all I was worried about you, and I just wanted you to be safe. You’re going to be safe, now.”

“But I’m not going to be here with you, Tetsurou. I have to move away, from you, and from Lev, and from Nekoma. I don’t want to leave all of this behind, not when it’s become everything to me,” he whispered, trying his best not to break down. “I’m scared. I don’t want to hold you back, or waste your time, when there are more important things you could be focusing on.”

“I know you’re scared, baby, I am too, and I don’t want to see you go. But, it’ll hurt less knowing you’re with Yamaguchi and Akiteru, where that horrible man isn’t going to hurt you. Knowing that you’re only a phone call away, and that every day we can talk, that’s going to make me happy. I’ll be happy, knowing I’m yours, even if it’s not going to be easy. If you had to live here, I can’t imagine what he would have done to you. I don’t want to, because he’s already done far too much. I love you, and you moving away doesn’t change my feelings for you, or make you any less important to me. Whether you’re with me in Tokyo, or with Akiteru in Miyagi, I’ll still be your boyfriend, and only yours.” 

Kuroo pressed a soft kiss into Kei’s hair, sniffling softly as he did so. The blond could tell that he was trying not to let it all out, but also that Tetsurou was right. His father had previously said he’d take him away from ‘that stupid school’, meaning that he probably would have been more isolated from the raven if he was going to stay with Mazuko. 

Just like Kuroo had told him all those times before, he loved Kei, and he wasn’t going to leave him. They would be able to make this work. 

“You can cry, Tet-kun,” Kei said eventually, allowing a few tears of his own to fall. “I’ll cry too, and we can both just cry together until it doesn’t feel as scary. I don’t want you holding it in for me, because you’re hurting just as much as I am, and as your boyfriend I want to help you just as much as you want to help me.”

Tetsurou let out a soft whimper, and not long after, the older teen was letting out quiet sobs, clinging onto Kei as he began to cry properly. It hurt, hearing that sound, but the blond was glad that his boyfriend wasn’t holding it in anymore. They both had hurt they needed to let out; what happened to him had an effect on Tetsurou as well, he’d realised that after the first incident.

“I’m safe now, because you and Aki-nii came. Everything you’ve told me, it gave me strength, because each time he said something to me, your voice was in my head convincing me otherwise. You helped me to be strong, to finally stop letting him control my life. You said that if I let you in, if I let you love me, that it would be alright in the end. I trust you, and in us, that we can get through this. Together.”

“Kei-Kei, god,” Kuroo whispered, sniffling and pulling away a little so he could properly look at him. Their faces were both tearstained, but neither of them really cared or felt ashamed. The Tsukishima household faded into grey for the moment, and all that mattered was that they were together again. “I couldn’t be more proud of you. You, all of that stuff, you really remembered it all? God, you’re amazing, firefly.”

“Well, it’s hard to forget when you’re always telling me,” Kei mumbled, letting out a quiet laugh and gently wiping the raven’s eyes. “I’m grateful for it, though. It’s odd, I feel like I should be more shaken up after everything… but it just feels, it feels like I’m finally free. Wait, Tet-kun, are you crying again?”

“...Maybe? I just, I can’t help it. I feel so relieved, and happy, and anxious, and it’s just so hard to keep my emotions in check. But I don’t want to keep them hidden when it’s with you, because I don’t need to worry that you’ll think any less of me because of it, and all that.”

The younger teen let out a shaky sigh of relief, before smiling fondly at Kuroo and pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. “You’re so sweet, my angel. I’m not sure if I should ask why the hell you’re here, but I’m not going to complain about any extra time I get to be by your side, even if that time is spent crying.”

Kuroo laughed softly when he heard that, and less than a moment later he brought his boyfriend back into a hug, burying his head in the crook of Kei’s neck. Said male was just happy that he’d been able to hear him laugh, the sound a familiar and treasured one.

Kei would cherish any more relaxed moments like this, especially since things were going to be a lot more serious later on, once he left to go to Miyagi. The fact that what almost happened to him happened to Akiteru still lingered in his mind, and as optimistic as they were, long distance relationships were never going to be that simple. It wasn’t all over yet, as much as they’d all wished it could be.

The two of them took a few more minutes together like that, not saying much more and just finding comfort in each other’s arms as the tears dried up. The minute they heard footsteps from down the hallway, they pulled away from the hug in place of Kuroo wrapping an arm around Kei. Akiteru was tense and clearly frustrated, the folder held close to his chest as he walked towards the door. “I hope I never have to see you again, Mazuko,” he said, opening the door and gesturing for Kei and Tetsurou to follow.

The blond wasn’t going to give Mazuko the benefit of another word, and the two teens left in silence, closing the door behind them.

The minute they were out, Kei had moved from behind beside Kuroo, to having his arms wrapped around Akiteru, pulling him in for a tight hug. His brother was quick to return it, holding him just as tightly.

“Aki-nii,” he said quietly. “I love you, Nii-san. Thank you. If not for you-”

“Kei, it’s alright. You’re my baby brother, and I love you. I would do anything to make sure you were kept safe, especially from those two. When you told me what they said in that letter, there was no way I could let that happen. I’ve lived most of my adult life in fear of them, and I didn’t want you to have to suffer like I did. Now, as much as I want to have this conversation with you, it’s not a conversation we can have here. We should probably get back to Kuroo’s house first, if it’s alright to be there?”

At the mention of his name, Kuroo looked over, nodding and giving them a small smile. “Yeah, that’s okay. My mothers adore Kei, and I don’t see any reason why you wouldn’t be welcome either. I’ll let them know that we’re coming and that everyone is alright.”

Akiteru relaxed hearing that, and he pulled away from the hug, passing Kei his phone back before gesturing for him to get in the car. “Let’s go then. It’s been an extremely long morning for all of us, and the sooner we’re away from this shithole, the better.”

“Let’s go home, Kei-Kei,” Tetsurou whispered as they took their seats in the back of the car. Once their seatbelts were on, he took Kei’s hand, bringing it up to his mouth to kiss over each of his knuckles, until he finally laced their fingers.

The look in Kei’s eyes was loving as he gave his boyfriend a warm smile, and shook his head. “I’m already at home, Tet-kun, with you and Akiteru by my side. I love you, Tetsurou.

The raven laughed quietly, leaning in so they could share a kiss, before nuzzling his nose against Kei’s. “I think I must be rubbing off on you, because that’s super sappy, firefly. I love you too, moonshine, I love you too.”


End file.
